We're off to Pelee Island.

...See you Monday-ish

Toronto Hipster Tourism

He had me at "elegant"



(But also found at Funkaoshi)

It's official.

It's open season on the net if you leave jackass messages on a person's voicemail.
Jesus, I wish I had a way of uploading some of the messages I have from my dating days from answering machine tape....damn...I'm sitting on some comedy that is GOLD!

R.I.P. Ira Tucker

"TORONTO, ON- Toronto may be losing its status as Canada’s pre-eminent city and business hub and that has city residents worried, according to a new study and poll from independent research organization the Fraser Institute."

Listen, I know that we want to blame Mike Harris for everything from lack of Social Services to bunions, but there comes a time.... when we have to move on and acknowledge that we're falling behind when it comes to business because of our City leaders and their bad decisions and provincial attitudes.


The ridiculous taxes on business, and now even on home buyers has driven many into the 905.

The Island Airport debacle.
Thanks Miller, for trying your best to make it harder than it needs to be for people to get into and out of the city for business...because God forbid we piss off those 12 people over on the Island.

Public transit that practically doesn't exist.
Toronto's attack on car and driver would make sense if we actually had a proper method of travel.

Cash grab parking.
Honestly, how are tourists who drive into the city supposed to want to come in for theatre, sports and so on when it costs $30 to park your car?
Oh yeah...just park your car at Yorkdale, and travel 45 minutes on the TTC...of course.
We LOVE tourists...especially the ones from small town Ontario.

The hate on that 416 has for 905.
Seriously, how are we supposed to expand and amalgamate transit and services, and share business when we hate each others guts based on some sort of perceived "suburban" vs "hipster" thing. Let's face it...the people I've met who think they're the "hippest" come from the 'burbs or small town Ontario. Like your parents divorce...GET OVER IT!

...oh...I could go on, but my head is starting to hurt.

(Click on the photo for more)

Desiree Dolron's Photos of Cuba are breathtaking.

There's also a whole gallery of photos of religious freakery.
People who crucify, and pierce themselves in the name of spirituality.

(Thanks Uncertain Times)

Police stop a van on the Mexican border:



...and not one clown....

Extraordinary Uses for Lemons.

(Via Listanity)

Heinz Pulls Gay Kiss Ad



Maybe mayo lovers are just not ready for a look into the private family life of a cubical dweller, and an extra from the Sopranos.

Perhaps it's that "other side of the tracks" thing.

P.S.: Not that I'm an expert or anything...but, the male gay parents I've met are not called "Mum" by their kids....

LOS ANGELES, Calif. --

Jason Bateman has come to the defense of the Oscar-nominated film, “Juno,” claiming the movie should not bare blame for the flood of teen pregnancies in Gloucester, Massachusetts.

Last week, Dr. Joseph Sullivan, the principal at Gloucester High School told Time magazine, a “bump” in teen pregnancies at his school – from 10 earlier this year to 17 — had to do with “seven or eight sophomore girls.”

“They made a pact to get pregnant and raise their babies together,” Sullivan said.

As the media quickly honed in on the story, it was branded “the Juno effect” and commentators openly discussed whether the film, which starred Ellen Page and Bateman, along with the teen pregnancy of Jamie Lynn Spears, who at 17, became a mother last week, affected the Gloucester girls, who so far have remained silent.

Bateman said. “I think people should look to other areas of their life for lessons and guidance, mainly parents, or teachers, or friends, or whomever. That should probably be where you should point your eyes and ears.”

Take a walk in the forest...
(Click on image)

(Get Sulky)

When I was a little girl, my Dad used to take me to the Racetrack.

I LOVE the Racetrack.
For a lot of reasons, but mostly for the characters.
It's easy to get caught up in the adrenaline rush of betting and watching the race.

I've been trying to talk The Mister into going with me (to no avail)...I even secretly tried to get my sister-in-law to agree to have her Jack and Jill at Woodbine Racetrack when she was planning her wedding...(foiled again...)

Get Sulky got me laughing with this little observation:

"...congratulations – I’m glad to hear you’re serious about taking up harness racing. You sound like you’ve got most of the essentials in place, and you’re sharp enough not to underestimate the power of a good moustache. While it might be a bit of a stretch to say the moustache makes the driver, it certainly goes a long way to give a new driver a seasoned, authentic appearance. And plus, chicks dig the lip tickler. "

This is something that is true, and often overlooked:



My father, being the smooth operator he was, sported "The Hollywood"...my Grandfather wore "The Dictator", and my Uncle still subscribes to "The Chief" off and on...

P.S.: There's a nifty little game you can get addicted to if you care to sign up.

John Bull's Jerk



Did John turn those dumplings without tongs?

Racialicious says:

"My parents weren’t being racist (or at least not maliciously so): Their beliefs were shaped by the reality in which they were brought up, and the culture to which they’d immigrated. They’d seen the challenges faced by people in mixed relationships, and they wanted my sister and me to have an easier life. Things weren’t easy for mixed couples in the 1970s, particularly among immigrant groups, where social networks were critical yet fragile, and most community support systems were contingent on “insider” versus “outsider” status."

So...let me get this straight...MY white parents/family feeling that way (perhaps not maliciously so..) are perceived as "racist" while your parents feeling that way is perceived as concern about being labeled an "outsider".

That's fair.

In true fairness...the article has a lot of merit.

Let's face it...those were the exact concerns of my family.
However, it was certainly perceived by me and everyone else around me as being racist.

As I said before, perhaps not "maliciously so"...but, racist nonetheless.

It's that paragraph that reminds me that many justify their own feelings, while pointing out the thorny feelings of others...and the myth of justified racism based merely on the fact that you're not white.

Oh...Puh--leeeze!

"A Los Angeles woman is suing the lingerie-producing giant Victoria's Secret over a thong gone wrong.

Fifty-two-year-old Macrida Patterson, who works in parking enforcement for the Los Angeles Department of Transportation, says she suffered a scratched cornea after either a pendant or a metal fastener snapped off a pair of panties and struck her in the eye.

"It does seem sort of unbelievable at first," said Patterson's attorney, Jason Buccat. But, he said, his client's injuries will "affect her for the rest of her life.""

I'm thinkin' if the thong is ricocheting metal with such force that you cut your cornea, perhaps Macrida might consider upping a size when purchasing her next thong.

Truth in Advertising



(via Swiss Miss)

Joe Cocker Decoded



(via uncertain times)

Where the Hell is Matt? 2008


I love how Matt isn't alone anymore...but, the music seems all wrong.

Snow Globes I Wouldn't Mind Owning...



Walter and Paloma Munoz do Snow Globes in a totally different way than you would remember.

In the spirit of Little People Art.

(via Uncertain Times)

So, yesterday...I met with a colleague, and over lunch we were discussing the unique problems that come with managing "The Millennium Generation" or "Generation Y", as they can be called.

"Generation Y is much less likely to respond to the traditional command-and-control type of management still popular in much of today's workforce," says Jordan Kaplan, an associate managerial science professor at Long Island University-Brooklyn in New York. "They've grown up questioning their parents, and now they're questioning their employers. They don't know how to shut up, which is great, but that's aggravating to the 50-year-old manager who says, 'Do it and do it now.' "

I find this kind of humourous, since it isn't the questioning that is infuriating to employers...GASP! To employers even younger than 50!

It's the lack of respect and commitment to the job that is the infuriating part.
Last year I fired a part-timer because she didn't show up a second time.

No call. No remorse.

She seemed genuinely shocked that I was letting her go. Even after I told her the first time that she'd be let go if she did it again.
Even after the lecture on why other people were depending on her to show up.
The excuse?
She had to buy shoes for some special occasion.

When I told my colleague the story, her eyes widened and she said; "SHOES! I LOVE SHOES! Why didn't she say that right away! You were being an unreasonable bitch."

Which gets me to the real point of this entry.

Sarcasm can be seen as a survival skill.

"Sarcasm, then, is a verbal hammer that connects people in both a negative and positive way. We know that sense of humor is important to relationships; if someone doesn't get your jokes, they aren't likely to be your friend (or at least that's my bottom line about friendship). Sarcasm is simply humor's dark side, and it would be just as disconcerting if a friend didn’t get your snide remarks."

I know that without sarcasm, I wouldn't be able to get through a day.

P.S.: Another article on The Science of Sarcasm.

Passive-Aggressive Notes
(an oldie but still good...)

At 39, Alice G., the unmarried housekeeper from Belleville, Ont., walked through the doors of the Toronto Asylum for the Insane, as it was called in 1893, and never saw the outside world again.

Explaining the “supposed existing cause of insanity,” the physician who committed her scrawled on her form: “disappointment in love affairs.”
Beside occupation, he wrote: “Spinster.”

By society's standards, Alice G was to be pitied: childless, poor, lovelorn and, worst of all, insane.

Do you eat like a man or a woman?

"Research data shows men and women tend to prefer different foods and flavors. So let's put the studies to the test with a completely unscientific, but fun quiz. Answer these eleven questions to see if you eat more like a man or more like a woman."

Take the test

I apparently eat like a woman, even though I love horseradish, will eat my eggs runny, and prefer brussel sprouts to green beans, and prefer jalapenos, and the occasional steak.

Damn...there goes my plan to become a Flamenco Dancer!

I can't afford it!

Brawl erupts at wedding reception; 2 stabbed

"It just kept going on and on," said Town of Newburgh police Sgt. Peter Talarico, who was one of about 30 cops to respond to the melee at the Ramada Inn on Route 300, which spilled into the hotel's parking lot. "It was a wedding party gone bad."

100 drunk people and a missing camera, people....

More proof that stupidity breeds faster than intelligence:

"GLOUCESTER (WBZ) ― There's a stunning twist to the sudden rise in teen pregnancies at Gloucester High School. 17 students there are expecting and, according to a published report, most of them became that way on purpose.

Time Magazine is reporting that nearly half of the girls confessed to making a pact to get pregnant and raise their babies together. None of the girls is older than 16."

We're doomed.

(Thanks Chris)

"I Frickn' hate weddings"

The solution is not to buy into the horseshit that the wedding industry tries to convince you that you absolutely have to have.

Weddings are just window dressing, and an opportunity for some women to live out some sort of Barbie/Princess fantasy, or for some parents to compete with their family and neighbours in the "I did better than you in life" competition.

I can think of about 7 million things more worthy than a dress to spend two or three grand on....and none of those things is a cake, or theme costumes for my 11 bridesmaids and 6 flower girls, or a limo bus, or flowers, or centerpieces...or anything else like that.

Drive in Intermission Loops



via Uncertain Times

I don't remember any of those...but, I do remember this one:



...and this one:

I'm not a sports fan... but, the stories behind some of the athletes are inspiring and tear inducing.

Like this one about Dallas Cowboys' DeMarcus Ware

Celebrities in the style of Renaissance art.



via Rantings of an Arab Chick

A while ago, The Mister and me were driving along when we witnessed an aggressive cut off for no good reason. The driver sped up and cut off a person in the lane to the right of us, and then promptly slowed down.
It got The Mister and me talking about driving styles...The Mister thinks that the way people drive is an extension of their personalities...and I tend to agree.



Take my test.

Are you a Toronto driver?

You're driving along and someone behind you has their highbeams on for no good reason.
You...
A) Slam on your brakes.
B) Get behind them and turn on your highbeams.
C) Flick your mirror up and keep driving until they move from behind.

You're coming up to an intersection and the driver in front of you suddenly turns on their left turn signal.
You...
A) Follow them, get in front and slam on your brakes.
B) Follow them, get in front and turn on you turn signal at the last minute at the next intersection.
C) Wait until they turn and go on your merry way.

You're waiting for the streetcar to close it's doors so that you can catch the light. The driver keeps them open with no one getting on, and closes them just as the light turns red.
You...
A) Get in front of it and slam on your brakes.
B) Pull up next to the doors and catch the drivers attention and flip him the bird while mouthing obscenities.
C) Wait for the light to change and go on your merry way.

Someone cuts you off.
You...
A) Get in front of them and hit the brakes.
B) Get in the lane next to them and stay next to them making sure that they can never get into your lane again. Refuse to make eye contact.
C) Chuckle about how stupid people can be, and go on your merry way.

Someone is tailgating you.
You...
A) Slam on your brakes.
B) Get behind them and tailgate them
C) Change lanes to get away from that crazy person, and go on your merry way.

Someone wants to get into your lane.
You...
A) Speed up and and slow down to stay at par with them. When you finally let them in, get into the lane they just changed from.
B) Speed up, and when they get into your lane...hit the brakes.
C) Slow down and let them in...they're in more of a hurry than you are.

You're changing lanes.
You...
A) Keep your turn signal on, and take as long as you can to get into the lane.
B) Speed up, get in the lane and then slow right down.
C) Speed up, get in the lane and go on your merry way.

If you answered "C" to any of these questions, you are NOT a Torontonian.

This must be the place

Do you speak English?



(via: Norge Thingy)

Happiness ain't nothin'
but a state of mind.

My friend Anna sent me an email telling me about a 60 minutes segment she saw the other night on Denmark being the "happiest" country. (Watch it here)

It appears that happiness is tied to attitude.
If you don't expect much, you're not disappointed as much, and are more likely to be happy when things turn out better than you expected.

I'm of the mind that happiness is fleeting.
I mean, I can feel contented, and appreciate that I have a good life without chasing "happiness" around.

This whole concept of perpetual happiness is really ridiculous.

But there are many people who think that happy is something you need to be all of the time.
Which is really impossible, when you think about it...but, when you're bombarded with ads and television shows and commercials telling you that there is something wrong with you if you aren't perpetually "happy" (whatever that is)...and that if you're not, you need to be medicated.

It's on this continent that we're constantly looking to "up the ante" on life....bigger, faster, stronger...never satisfied...to the point that we induce our own depression.

My Uncle always told me:

"Don't make yourself too complicated. Find pleasure in simple things...if you make yourself too complicated, you'll never be happy".

I think I agree.

A Trip Through the '80's



then, A Trip Through the 90's

Happy Father's Day

OH, C'MON!

PETA recently celebrated World Vegetarian Week in Memphis by shrink-wrapping its interns like a couple of flank steaks, despite 80+ degree weather.

When officers inquired about the well-being of intern Shawn Herbold (bottom) and volunteer Thomas Olsen, a sweat-soaked Herbold replied that she was in pain and feeling nauseated from the heat after being wrapped in cellophane for 30 minutes, and also asked how much longer she needed to stay there. Byrne let her know it wouldn't be much longer and left her under the hot afternoon sun for 30 minutes more while debating with the officers.

The kicker:

PETA would never treat a cow that way, but I guess it's OK for an intern.

via Chris

"Young people...Lord…
Do they still call it infatuation?

That magic ax that still chops away the world in one blow, and leaves the couple there standing…trembling.

Whatever they call it…it leaps over everything…it takes the biggest chair, the largest slice.

Rules the ground, wherever it walks, from a mansion to a swamp….and it's selfishness is it's beauty.

Before I was reduced to sing-song, I witnessed all kinds of mating…most reduced to two night stands trying to last a season.

Even though everyone drowns in it's wake.

People with no imagination, feed it with sex….the clown of love.

They don't know the real kinds, the better kinds, where loses are cut and everybody benefits.
It takes a certain intelligence to love like that…softly…without props…but the world is such a showpiece.

Maybe that's why folks try to outdo it, put everything they feel on stage, just to prove they can think up things too, handsome, scary things…like fights to the death, adultery, setting sheets afire, they fail, of course.

The world outdoes them every time.

While they are busy showing off…digging other people's graves, hanging themselves on a cross, running wild in the streets, cherries are quietly turning from green to red.

Oysters are suffering pearls, and children are catching rain in their mouthes…"

~Toni Morrison~

Crazy Bitches on Patrol

Remember Tricia Walsh-Smith? The woman who posted some videos of herself talking about her messy divorce?

Well, she's back...and off her meds.



Honestly, it's sad to watch someone spiral into giving herself a nervous breakdown.

LOL of the Day (NSFW)


http://view.break.com/516661 - Watch more free videos

Jesus H. Christ.!

via Cynical-C

"A TTC bus went out of control and crashed into several objects and vehicles on a 1km long stretch of road in the Yonge and York Mills area before coming to a halt. Early reports suggest that the driver may have suffered from a medical episode that led to the crash. Union boss Bob Kinnear is expected to tell us that absurd suggestions like driver training and periodic physicals are both violations of employee privacy."

*Schnort*

I'm totally going to get The Mister to do this the next time he builds something on our property.

Recently, a friend of ours, Simon, moved to Over, just North of Cambridge, UK. He was moving to a lovely property, with a nice garden and a pond.

Simon wasn’t so keen on the pond though. It’s not very child friendly, and with two young ones running around the garden, he thought it would be safer to get rid of it.

A few buckets and hours of sweating later, Simon lifted the pond lining to discover a laminated piece of paper sitting at the bottom of the gaping hole that once was the previous owner’s pond.

That Canadian Girl via Cynical-C

"Motherf*cking Lies (Noun) The worst kind of lies, because you're not only lying to the world, you're lying to yourself, sister. "


The one really good thing about not being rich and famous is that you only have your close friends and family up your bum about "what happened" when a relationship ends.

When you're famous, you have to say crap like "I'm really happy for him..." and, "I wish him all the best...", or "We're still good friends...", instead of "Oh, he should just piss off the bloody, selfish, two-faced, chicken, bastard, pig-dog man", or "May his house be shown burning on CNN".

The Price is Wrong



People just don't listen..LOL

I'm in "Love" again.

I've just started Toni Morrison's novel "Love", and I'm hooked.
Toni's ability to take me to another era in black America is gripping and beautiful.

Love had me in the first two paragraphs.

I love her, and always have.
From the first reading of "The Bluest Eye" to "Song of Solomon" to "Sula".

I'm looking forward to "A Mercy".

I'm also reading "Running with Scissors" by Augusten Burroughs.
After hearing the interview with him by John Moore.
Not what I was expecting, but interesting nevertheless.
Burroughs depicts his mother as a mentally ill, selfish and self-absorbed poet who gives him away to her psychiatrist.
Here is her take on it in an interview on NPR.

Memory is selective, and no one who has regrets wishes to "rehash the past".

In the theme of misheard lyrics from the other day....it's Benny and the Jets from the movie 27 dresses.

Drive By

The other day, I just held my camera out my window and snapped shots as I was driving to my destination.
I didn't look at what I was photographing.
I didn't look at them until I uploaded them.
I quite like some of them:



More at Look Up Radmila...if you're at all interested

Top 10 Amazing Facts About Dreams



Plus: Top 20 Facts About Sleep

Female Police Officers in Russia.

Yeah, I'm sure they're chasing down suspects every couple of minutes.

More pictures of the Female Police Officers in stilettos, here.

"The TTC doesn’t need to do drug testing on its drivers. For my money, I’d much prefer the Commission spend some time and capital on customer service training for its ticket booth collectors so that someday they may begin to treat customers — especially those who are young, brown or anglophonically-challenged — with a modicum of civility."

Spacing Toronto opens up a counseling session in their comments section for people who have had bad experiences with TTC employees.

This is what happens when a union makes it impossible to manage or fire your employees.

Bad service, employees with a feeling of entitlement, and a general fuck you attitude.

(obviously not all employees...so, keep your angry email to yourself.)

Via Funkaoshi

The "Real Meal" is about to go on a diet.

A vasectomy around 1990, would have been so much cheaper.

Senior High



I love seniors.
They've a treasure trove of life experience, and live witnesses to history.
They can paint a picture of an era with a story.

I ran an after school inter generational program for elementary school children and seniors at Bloorview for a number of years, and was continuously surprised, and disappointed by the number of parents who didn't want their children participating.

They didn't want their children to see any sickness, or have to deal with the death of their senior pal...and it did happen, and we talked about it.
It's a part of life, after all...and kids are more resilient than their parents give them credit for, if they'd only let them participate in the realities of life.

The Globe and Mail has done an interesting documentary on life in a Seniors Home.

Introduction
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5

Promzilla?

Just like I don't get the giant, paying off for a decade weddings...I don't get the mini wedding prom.

Just for the record, I also don't get the hall renting, buffet, big deal sweet 16 party...kind of like a poor man's debutante ball.

"Fast forward to 2008 and now parents are left on the hook for the dress, the limo, prom tickets, hair, make-up, manicures, pedicures etc. The whole bill now runs over $1,000 once you factor in all these costs.

Retailers have even told me that Grade 8 graduation has become like a mini-prom, with parents forking over $2-300 for a dress for a 12-yeard old!"

What?
A grand to go to a party?

You must be mad.

Why does everything have to be over the top?

(image from Crazy Ravens Studio)

LOS ANGELES — Ed McMahon, who for decades appeared as Johnny Carson's sidekick on "The Tonight Show," is fighting to avoid foreclosure on his multimillion-dollar Beverly Hills home, according to published reports.

The former "Star Search" host was $644,000 behind on payments on $4.8 million in mortgage loans when a unit of Countrywide Financial Corp. filed a default notice Feb. 28 with the Los Angeles County Recorder's Office, The Wall Street Journal first reported late Tuesday.

They've been trying to sell the house for two years after Ed broke his neck, and can't sell it because Britney Spears lives down the street and the paparazzi are a nuisance.

How sad is that?

Horseshit



I marveled over 10 recipes with 3 ingredients or less, and thought; it couldn't be true...and tried #2 tonight.

My finished crap product is on the left, the photo from the site is on the right.
Shortly, I'll be trying #6 and we'll see how that works out.

So far, 10 recipes with 3 ingredients or less is = 0, Radmila = 1

GM Confirms It's Halting Production At Four Factories Including Oshawa

In the report I heard, there was "no word on whether there would be a walk out".

Forgive my ignorance, but is this not kind of like shooting yourself in the foot?
I just want GM to return the corporate welfare they received to the tune of 175 million.

I can't be convinced that Buzz Hargrove didn't see this coming.
They make Hummers ferfucksake.

I pray that the union doesn't force it's members to walk out, and cause more hardship on those poor employees.

Oh, those crazy Finns



How would you like to tour around Helsinki in a vagina?

"Finnish artist Mimosa Pale feels the world is too man-parts-centric. We'd agree. However, we're not sure what to think about a form of protest that includes thrice weekly cruising the streets of Helsinki. inviting its inhabitants to take a ride by slipping inside her giant disembodied vagina mounted on top of her bike taxi."

Geez, you'd think she'd give it a Brazilian.

Misheard Lyrics of the Day

From The Archive of Misheard Lyrics:

List of the Day listed their favourites...I'll list mine.



Misheard Lyric: Oh Canada, we stand on cars and freeze...

Real Lyric: Oh Canada, we stand on guard for thee...
------------
Misheard Lyric: I'm every woman...

Real Lyric: Climb every woman...
------------
Misheard Lyric: Pay the rent Claudette

Real Lyric: Little red corvette
------------
Misheard Lyric: She has batman's pajamas

Real Lyric: She's a bad mamma jamma.
------------

Misheard Lyric: My boyfriend's black And he's got a huge erection

Real Lyric: My boyfriends' back He's gonna save my reputation
------------

glumbert - Mining For Bling - Congo Mining Crisis

I'm ashamed to be part of the human race.

Prince and Radiohead are Fighting

"What Radiohead seems to be forgetting here is that Prince is nuts. Like the time he was sued by Utah Jazz forward, Carlos Boozer, after he rented Boozer's Los Angeles mansion and proceeded to paint it purple and install a beauty salon. I swear, I wouldn't be surprised if Prince doesn't sleep in a Peter Pan costume or ride to breakfast on a purple pony with braided hair."


This is what naturally happens when you're so rich that you haven't had to walk amongst the unwashed plebeian population, and people have been blowing hot air up your ass for three decades.

"With a gun to his head, the young driver made a split-second decision. He would crash the car intentionally. The resulting four-car collision may not have been in the plan, but the suspects did take off when the dust settled, leaving their gun behind amidst the mangled metal."


Because if I'm going to die, who gives a fuck about the rest of you bitches!

Too much Fast and Furious, and not enough sense.

The scary thing is that this kid is really proud of himself.

(From Bocks Car)

Know your history before you make a protest sign....click here...

Addendum from Chris:

Teenage Tourette Syndrome



Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9
Part 10

More Clever Adverts

Amen

(Thanks Chris)