I love this movie

In another life, I worked at a restaurant called Cafe on the Park on Eglinton. It was a small cafe that featured up and coming artists. From Comedians like Jim Carrey to Mike McDonald (the Comedian), to performers like David Wilcox and Long John Baldry.

Wilcox always played acoustic when when he was there because there was no room for a band in the tiny place.

Long John Baldry's heyday was long over when he played the Cafe.

I didn't know who he was at the time...being an 18 year old waitress, I just knew he had to have been pretty big in his time...since the owner Ron treated him like a Prima Donna.

I was given a tray with a glass, a pitcher of orange juice, and a bottle of Silent Sam and told to take it up to the apartment above the cafe to Long John about an hour before he was supposed to go on.

When he opened the door, he was dressed head to toe in a green leotard...he looked like a seven foot Peter Pan.
He didn't talk to me...just pointed to a side table and told me to get out.

The end.

Homicides in the GTA, 2005-08

(an interactive map)

My mother used to sing this to me...there was a Serbian version.
Really.

Metropass users accustomed to driving to the subway in the morning may need to reconsider their commute next year when they will no longer be able to park free in TTC lots.

Elected transit commissioners voted last night to charge pass holders between $2 and $6 a day to park in any of the TTC's 16 car lots, starting in the first quarter of 2009.

No.
Really.

These are the stupid decisions that make the people who run things in Toronto look like a bunch of fucking morons.
How can you successfully sell public transit to drivers like this?
Public transit is supposed to be a cheaper alternative that is better for the environment.
It shouldn't be an exercise in enforced public transit charity initiatives.

How about TTC heads making some better decisions with the money they get to run the system?

How about that?

Diddy on Gas Prices

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

OMG!
I dropped my Diaka martini into my Cristal footbath when I saw this!

The massive recall of Maple Leaf products, and Some 29 cases have been conclusively linked to the outbreak of listeriosis, including the six confirmed deaths and the nine deaths under investigation. Twenty-two of the cases are in Ontario, with four in B.C., two in Quebec and one in Saskatchewan. An additional 30 cases remain under investigation - 16 in Ontario, 10 in Quebec and four in Alberta.

this doesn't bring the Health Minister Tony Clement home from the Democratic Convention.

The Sunrise propane explosion in Downsview can't tear Mayor Miller away from his daughter's birthday party...(well, c'mon...it happened north of Eglinton and west of Bathurst, ferfucksake!)

But, the possibility of an election being called brings The Governor Generals' trip to the Paralympics in China to a screeching halt.

Why is that again?

Oh...right...because if an election is called, she has to be here to ask the Queen's permission.
Yeah...that's waaaaaaaaaaay more important.

The world's most "frugal" billionaires.

Why am I not surprised that the owner of IKEA is on this list?

...and 10 Billionaire Family Feuds...because God forbid that they should be rich and happy.

Do as we say, not as we do...

At a joint news conference with Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas, Rice said that Russia's formal recognition of the territories at the heart of its war with Georgia "puts Russia in opposition to the Security Council resolution to which it is a party."

"I think it is regrettable," Rice said, adding, "Since the United States is a permanent member of the Security Council, this simply will be dead on arrival in the Security Council."

President Bush had appealed to Russia's president to ignore the advice of lawmakers and refrain from recognizing Georgia's breakaway regions as independent.

But Russia formally recognized the breakaway Georgian territories at the heart of its war with Georgia on Tuesday, heightening tensions with the West as the United States dispatched military ships bearing aid to a port city still controlled by Russian troops.

...apparently, only the U.S. has the right to recognize independence.

Oh, the big deal.

Catholic Priest wants a beauty contest for nuns.

Ok...so, they've already done a calendar for hot Catholic Priests....and the Mormons went a step further.

Girls making out with each other to turn on guys is the latest craze at high school and college parties. Is this sexual liberation, or regression?

"It gives you confidence," says Nina, a 20-year-old friend and classmate of Julie's who has kissed five of her friends, including Julie, most more than once. "It makes you feel more attractive -- you're turning on a guy, and he thinks it's cool."

"I think it's empowering to these girls," Jay says. "Immediately after, guys come up and are like, Do you want to do that with me? It's a quick fix to get a guy's attention."

Too much porn, not enough self-esteem.

Kissing other girls because you're actually attracted to them is one thing...kissing them to put on a show for guys is kind of sad and pathetic.

Movies other people loved,
that I couldn't sit through.....

In the spirit of List of the Day's "24 movies we walked out on"

Titanic: Too long...too long...too long...it's pretty bad when you skip through entire scenes and still can't wait for the boat to sink. And that SONG. Jesus Christ.

Big Fish: Too whingy for me...and I usually am pretty ok with whingy.

Eternal Spotlessness of the Sunshine Mind: Bleh. Jumping back and forth through time..the editing made me nauseous. I like the concept. Hated the movie. (Yeah, I know what the movie is called...I just think it's unnecessarily long)

I know that there are a lot more...but those three are the only movies to come to mind immediately.

Lapses in Sportsmanship

On the last day of competition, Angel Valodia Matos sent his foot crashing into a match referee's mouth during the men's +80-kg category.

The heavyweight's rush of blood to the head, triggered by his disqualification in a bronze medal bout, was an unfortunate, if poignant, ending to a tournament once again plagued by bewildering referee decisions and poor sportsmanship.

...a follow-up to the winner of the Bronze Medal Toss of last week.

I think Torontonians can agree that we could never have done it to the level of Beijing .
(Photo from Time Pictures of the Week found at Uncertain Times)

Get Outta Town!

Chris Buck Photos....via Uncertain Times

Michael Phelps is a Dick



Seriously.
If this is not a fake...He's a fucking dick.

The head dunking and splashing is not fake, I saw that myself when the race originally aired.

(via Unibrow)

How long will people love Elvis?

Click on image for Part One of the documentary and here's Part Two.

Alison - Elvis Costello



Bad quality, but still good.

It's soooo lame just being a kid....

NEW YORK–On her blog, 12-year-old Tavi Gevinson posts photos of herself wielding a toilet plunger, posing in a room covered with newsprint and wearing a paint-splattered tutu inspired by Dolce & Gabbana's spring 2008 collection.

She's part of a young generation of fashion bloggers who display pictures of their outfits for all to see.

...because there's a shortage of shallow, vain and vapid adult women who are only concerned about how they look, and crave attention for the wrong reasons.

I find it alarming that Tavi's parents are so "confident" with their 12 year olds' decision regarding online posting...

Gevinson thinks kids like Tavi are stronger than parents believe. "I have a lot of confidence in her and in most kids, if not all kids, that they can figure it out if they have good guidance and caring people working with them," he says.

Tavi, after taking a short break in the wake of the attention, has returned to blogging with her father's blessing.

"I'd much rather have her decide to stop if she's going to stop than to tell her to stop," Gevinson says. "She'll grow out of it – maybe, maybe not."

It's official.
I wouldn't be a "cool" parent.
I would be an old school "get your 12 year old ass off the internet" kind of parent.

YesButNoButYes's New Yorker's Map of America



Put me in mind of this:



Save it.
Toronto doesn't care.

15 Mug Shot T-Shirts


(click on image to see...)

Dara Fresco - Whistle Blower or Future Corporate Pariah

CIBC teller Dara Fresco shares what it's like to take on her employer for allegedly demanding unpaid overtime, and we examine what the case could mean for your paycheque and the way you work.

Click here for the CBC News Sunday Report.

We've all done it.
Unpaid overtime...Labour law is very clear about it...it shouldn't happen.
People should be paid for time worked.

But, most of the workforce does unpaid overtime.
To finish the job. To add to your performance appraisal, to keep your job...to make sure that you keep your job from the person who was willing to "go the extra mile".

...and while there are those who do a lot of overtime, there are others who take advantage.
If I was paid back in time for all the overtime I've done in my career...I wouldn't have to go back to work until at least 2012.

So, while I admire Dara's courage in organizing this class action lawsuit against a very rich bank, I also wonder if her name will be lauded or blacklisted.

The new norm for young, privileged, growing girls. It’s not just designer clothes, luxury cars, and the best-of-the-best in schools, lessons and tutors: It’s narcissism, and it’s inherited from — no, encouraged by — Mom. Mom, who not only lifts, tans and waxes herself into oblivion, but who has now turned her attentions to her daughter, hauling her from spa to spa before the school ­pictures or big dance, or, well, just because — for facial after blowout after wax. After a handful of appointments, the transformation from little girl to prepubescent supermodel is complete, thanks to beauty ­treatments that not long ago were reserved for big girls — with little consideration that the same beauty treatments meant to fix “imperfections” will probably screw the kids up down the road.

Ok...so while my instincts tell me that this is fucked up in a major way, I'm still thinking that if my mother had have given me Brazilians, and waxing of my eyebrows when I was eight, I'd be saving tons of money today.

I'm really at odds...since I intellectually know how wrong this is (self-image, socio-economical unfairness, self-esteem)...part of me would appreciate having my hair growth stunted in puberty.

Bizarre Dispensers you don't see everyday



Click on The Hoff to see more...

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Damn U, Chris

As if my Mah Jong and Tetris obsession wasn't enough.

Now, I've got Bubble Shooter too..

An argument between two debate coaches escalates into a war of words, each showering the other with a string of obscenities before an audience of seemingly unfazed students. Before long, one coach has mooned the other, and the video — posted to YouTube — continues recording the spectacle of two communication professors stomping their feet, flailing their arms and shouting at the top of their lungs.

(via Cynical-C)

I know this is shallow, and off point...but, what is it about some academics that makes them stop shaving, and getting haircuts? This guy isn't even bothering with shoes anymore.

Branislav Kropilak



My cousin and I were talking today.

She's just spent three weeks in Paris and is a little down about being back.
She and her boyfriend rented an apartment...and that's the difference.
When you stay abroad, in an apartment for a few weeks...living in a place that respects and celebrates beauty, you can fall into the trap of feeling like you live there.

Away from the plain landscapes and architecture of Toronto...where even a lobby is breathtaking (NYC has them, even Montreal has them...not many in Toronto).

Click on the image or heading for more lobbies.

(Thanks Uncertain Times)

Diane Arbus Photographs on Sale at Christie's.

I've always loved her photos.
She was able to capture a vulnerability in the simplest of subject.

Bruce and Nancy Berman are divorcing and selling their collection.

Cha Ching.

glumbert - Celebrities In 2040

I say: If they're lucky.

I'll never understand this cultures' absolute disgust and fear of aging.

You're supposed to embrace the inevitable.

Enjoy not having to compete so viciously, and enable yourself to pursue the things in life that your experience has taught you the importance of.
Not cling to something that is of common knowledge to be fleeting.

Prince bans the singing Dentist, Andrew Bain from singing Purple Rain on his debut album.

..well, that sent me on a search for Andrew Bain, immediately.

Kinda cheesy... and not in an ironic and kitschy way.

Have you ever been on the road and seen someone asleep at the wheel?

Last night on the way home, I looked in my rear view to see the guy behind me with his head back on the headrest, his mouth open, and his eyes closed.

It's the strangest thing to feel that kind of panic, contemplating all the disaster that could happen in a millisecond.
I considered honking my horn, but was afraid that if I shocked him awake, he might over-compensate and kill himself and others (including me).
We know someone who died just that way on Thanksgiving weekend a few years ago driving to Niagara Falls late at night.

What did I do?

Moved into the far right lane...afraid to slow down, in case he rear ended me.

As he passed me, it really did look like he was a sleeping passenger in the driver's seat.

It was weird.

But, he must have woken up, because there was no accident or anything, and traffic moved as usual.

It's frightening to think of how many people probably doze off at the wheel.

*Sigh*



The Guardian reports:

Spain's Basketball Federation has published a good luck advert for their men's team, the world champions, in which they stand pulling at the sides of their eyes in a slit-eyed gesture.

There is no obvious intention to upset their Olympic hosts in Beijing, but the irresponsible picture is likely to cause controversy and could be interpreted so as to lead to accusations of racism.

Is that funny?
Is it clever?
I can only assume that the only Asians the entire team has ever seen are in Warner Brothers cartoons from the 30's and 40's.

Seriously.
What's wrong with people?



(Found at YesbutNobutYes)

Car & Driver's Top Ten Hooligan Cars.

Apparently, The Mister is a hooligan....as is half of the Toronto Police Department.

Can you guess where my accent is from?



This game is harder than you think.
I could have used a couple of extra sentences, and then I would have done better

Click on the image to play

(From A Welsh View)

Don Cheadle on MadTV

Hipster Olympics

glumbert - Hipster Olympics

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Now that our annual fete is done with, my life can get back to normal.

Last night, someone reminded me of a streak of bad luck I had with my car.
Car insurance is one of those necessary evils...especially in Canada where getting caught driving without it can work itself into some prison bitch time.

I found a site that has a lot of good information on car insurance, and you can get free comparison quotes, if you're shopping for a new insurance company...

I hate that sort of thing..so, if there's something that can keep me off of the phone haggling and being transfered, and call prompted, all the better.

While we're talking about insurance, I had to laugh:

Based on a statistical study of 100,000 drivers, Lee Romanov (Author of Car Karma) ranks the astrological signs with the safest driving records in the order listed below.

1. Leo drivers (born July 23 to August 22) finish first, with big egos that are generous and comfortable with sharing the road.
2. Gemini drivers (born May 21 to June 20) were the second-safest due to their multi-tasking abilities.
3. Cancer drivers (born June 21 to July 22) are homebodies who consider the road to be part of their extended families.
4. Virgo drivers (born August 23 to September 22) have a nervous attention to detail, which occasionally results in accidents.
5. Capricorn drivers (born December 22 to January 19) are goal-oriented with a keen focus on their destinations.
6. Sagittarius drivers (born November 22 to December 21) are experienced risk takers and are talkative.
7. Taurus drivers (born April 20 to May 20) are stubborn and have been known to charge at red lights.
8. Scorpio drivers (born October 23 to November 21) like to get revenge via road rage.
9. Pisces drivers (born February 19 to March 20) enjoy daydreaming and need to focus their complete attention while driving.
10. Aries drivers (born March 21 to April 19) have a "me first" child-like nature that drives them into trouble.
11. Aquarius drivers (born January 20 to February 18) are impulsive and often speed to show their rebellion.
12. Libra drivers (born September 23 to October 22) crave balance and consensus but are indecisive during rush-hour traffic.

Astrological Signs and Traffic Tickets

Romanov found that the astrological signs with the fewest traffic tickets in order, are:

Gemini, Sagittarius, Virgo, Cancer, Leo, Scorpio, Taurus, Libra, Capricorn, Aquarius, Aries, Pisces

Astrological Signs and Accidents

Astrological Signs with the fewest accidents, with the best-driving listed first.

Leo, Cancer, Gemini,Virgo, Taurus, Pisces, Sagittarius, Aquarius, Aries, Capricorn, Scorpio, Libra

Maybe if insurance companies actually used this theory, I'd get a better insurance rate.

Singin' in the Rain.

Big annual BBQ today.

Pissing outside.

Tent collapsed, and The Mister can't even go out to fix it.

It's still on, but no doubt on a smaller scale...inside the house.

Damn...all that food...

Le Sigh.

A Big Shock



R.I.P. Bernie Mac

'Cosmopolitan' Institute Completes Decades-Long Study On How To Please Your Man

10 People with Unbelievable Medical Conditions

(my sympathies go out to Rhett Lamb's parents...)

I'm sorry, my lovlies...it's been a busy week while I prepare for our annual shindig on Saturday night....let's pray for no rain

Small Egg Rolls at Papamo

The Girl in the window

Three years ago the Plant City police found a girl lying in her roach-infested room, naked except for an overflowing diaper. The child was pale and skeletal, communicated only through grunts. She was almost seven years old. The authorities had discovered the rarest of creatures: a feral child, deprived of her humanity by a lack of nurturing. Audio, video and slideshow tell the strange, sad and ultimately hopeful story of Danielle.

(via Uncertain Times)

Too Much TV

More videos from the "Contagious" channel at Heavy.com

e-MANcipate makes pantyhose for men.

Why...oh, why?
I hate pantyhose.

I'd like to welcome men into the world of $12 hose that you can easily put your thumb through while putting them on.

(thanks Piika)

Philip Toledano's Days with my Father.

Click the bottom of the page.

Don't talk to the police.

Fascinating information....from Uncertain Times

I'm hoping that the gigantic supermarket Deli doesn't ever, ever swallow the little, "I've known you for years..." Deli of our neighbourhoods

Rejected Dr Seuss Books of the Day

Yes, Michael Wax stank. He's the first to admit it. The 440-pound New York City man said he was playing poker in an Atlantic City casino for 17 hours Tuesday and didn't have time to clean up. He understands why grossed-out gamblers complained about his body odor, but said he didn't deserve stinky treatment from the casino that asked him to leave.

It's easy to feel sorry if you're not standing within 10 feet of him.
In the past two days, I've been in line next to a few people who could knock a buzzard off a shit wagon with their body odour.

The question is, how can they stand themselves?