My 2 Second Shelf Life

Adrenaline Rush



Yesterday, I stopped at the bank and parked on a busy downtown street, without purchasing time from one of those fancy shmancy meters that are so far apart, that it's a gigantic pain in the ass to purchase said ticket.

I figured I would go in and see what the line looked like and if it was long, I would go back and purchase some time from the meter.
I walked to the door and saw only two people in line.

Bonus!
This bank always has a line up!
So, I naively go in and take my place in line....little do I know that there are only two Tellers working. 
After about 10 minutes in line, I figure that one customer must  be negotiating a mortgage, while the other must be doing the year end audit for a small country.
I was in the bank for over 30 minutes, far longer than I had anticipated.

Well, I headed out of the bank and down the street....and...what?

"Dude, where's my car?"

There was a large cube van parked where I left my car.

I got that "holy shit" feeling.
The one that says, "I've got a ton of shit to do this afternoon and my briefcase and everything is in my car!"

I got my cell phone out and started to dial the towing company telephone number from the sign right in front of me, while walking toward the cube van...only to realize that the cube van was hiding my car.

The sense of relief was overwhelming.

Have you ever had your car towed?

I have, and it was an experience I will never forget.

See, when my car was towed...I was already late to get somewhere.
I was pissed.
When I got to the trailer/towing company "office", I walked in shouting about being towed, which immediately resulted in two Great Danes jumping up onto the cell-like bars that went from the counter to the ceiling, and barking.
Which resulted in silencing the absolute shit out of me.

The people behind the bars could only been seen through a cloud of cigarette smoke and the trailer reeked of stale smoke.
It was disgusting.
Listen, I'm a smoker.
If I say it was disgusting, it was disgusting.

The woman that approached the counter only removed the smoke from her pie hole while she repeated over and over, "cash, VISA or Mastercard" while I tried to argue with her about the ridiculous amount of money she told me I had to pay to get my car out of the pound.
Frankly, all of them should wear masks while they collect money.

While I was paying, two men came in shouting just like I did when I came in, which alerted the two horses disguised as Great Danes to commence the barking routine, which silenced the two men and scared the shit out of me for a second time.

I got my car, and fought the $20 ticket that was an insult to my injury.
I had the opportunity to go to night court.

Ever been to night court?

I paid $8 for parking.
Spent 2 hours at Old City Hall.
Result?
My ticket was thrown out.

My visit to night court was worth the price of admission.
$8.00
It was entertaining.
The Judge was hilarious...
He was sarcastic, and mean

...but not to me.

heh heh.