Sunday, December 31, 2006

Sunday Click-Around

The Funniest Info has a bunch of pictures that are amusing. You've probably already seen a lot of them, but there are some you might not have seen yet. While we're talking about photos, here's a site that has a collection of photos "taken at the right angle". They're pretty good, some of them.

I've been a fan of Natacha Altas's music for a long time. However, I've seen her interviewed a couple of times, and she's a bit of an ass. I don't know if it's the language thing, or if she really is an ass for sure. She is a graduate with Honours of The Middle Eastern Sledgehammer School of Etiquette. I thought that perhaps the couple of interviews I saw back in the late ninties were exaggerated memory, but then I read this quote from Natacha on Wiki:

"She has denied claims that her father is a Sephardic Jew; she concedes to being "maybe 10 percent or something." She says the claim her father is Jewish is "one of those things where someone had a grudge against me and wanted to hurt me."

I remember specifically, Natacha riding the "I'm half Jewish and half Arab" train to help her music career. To read the above now, well...eh, you've probably never heard of her...so, it's not like it helped anyway. Here's Yalla Chant by Natacha Atlas.

Here's Croatian remix of Moja Štikla (My Stilletto *the Shoe, not the knife*) by Severina to a Beyonce video. I found it amusing.

While we're on the music video thing, here's a site that claims to have 20,000 video links on one page. The good thing is that the little screen scrolls down with you while you're surfing the links...the bad thing? Lots of the links are broken, and lots of the videos are of no interest to me with bands like Cannibal Corpse and Glassjaw...however one of the links that did work was Demolition Man by Grace Jones. Grace Jones is one of those people that is so strange, that you just can't stop staring at her. She's the queen of androgeny. For a more feminine version of Grace, here's La Vie en Rose.

This little kid is so cute I could just eat him with a spoon. He's a preschooler who knows all the capital cities of all the states. His little accent is so adorable, I could just squeeze him.

I like this guy...The Scottish & The Mexicans.

Ok kids...that's it.
I've got people coming over tonight and lots of work to do....
Happy New Year, all the very best to all of you...

Saturday, December 30, 2006

News Flash:


Saddam hung by Mexican Wrestlers!


Natcho Libre couldn't be reached for comment.

Friday, December 29, 2006

The Six Weird Things About Me-

a meme from Swingingpuss:

1. I wear latex gloves when I handle food. More for the gross factor than for the sanitary thing...but it helps.

2. I hate to put my hand in containers or bags. Be it cookies, or anything sticky. I cringe.

3. I am obsessed with my keys. I need to know where they are at all times. I sometimes fumble through my purse, just to make sure they're there...maybe it's because I was a latchkey kid, and being locked out more than once taught me a fine lesson, or turned me into a compulsive.

4. Sometimes while I'm walking down a flight of stairs, I'll imagine myself falling down them.
Same goes for driving..sometimes I'll imagine myself driving into oncoming traffic, or into a ditch.

5. I don't like having to call and order food in. The internet has saved me some anxiety in this regard with ordering online. I hate the whole process of chat, chat with stranger and having to give my adress and all that. The Mister hates it too...but I always get reeled into doing it.

6. I feel naked without my crucifix. When I wear another necklace, I carry my crucifix with me in a little ziplock plastic bag on my person. In a pocket close to my body...yeah, I know.

I'm not going to tag.
Do it and tell me you did, or do it in my comments...

Say it Loud. I'm Cold & I'm Proud...

It's official.

If you remember this guy giving out free hugs on YouTube a few months ago... it was a "feel good" little video.
Well, recently according to The Torontoist, some UBC students tried it out here in Toronto, and well...it didn't go so well.

Apparently, Vancouverites are more open to free hugs than we are.
No shit?
Are you surprised?
I'm not.

A couple of weeks ago, my friend Anna sent me an e-mail with some "Pay it Forward" type articles that were really sweet. This one about a Starbucks drive thru in Bloomington, Illinois where one woman started a pay it backward goodwill gesture that began at 9:20am and lasted until 12.57pm with each patron paying for the next patrons order.

I found that interesting and inspiring.
I asked The Mister how long he thought that would last at a Toronto Timmy's.
He said, "about 30 seconds".
I thought I'd challenge him, and decided I'd try it out myself.

This morning I was in line at Tim Hortons and this is how it went:

I paid for my coffee and while the server was getting it, the other server asked the guy behind me what he wanted. He ordered a couple of coffees and a couple of bagels.
I went to pay for my order and I said, "and his order is on me too".
I turned to him and said, "Happy New Year".
"No thanks".
I had already paid for it, and the server looked alarmed.
I said, "Ok then, just pay for the person's order behind you..."
"No." asshole says.
The server looks at me and blinks.
"Well, I don't care what you do...you figure it out from here. Happy New Year." and I walked away.

Yeah.
Toronto is warm and fuzzy.

The Mister wins.
It was about 30 seconds.
The cynic in me lives on.

A Holiday Wish from Steve Martin

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Am I the Only One...

...who washes my recycling?
Today was garbage day in the 'hood...and I walked by bin after bin with gross and disgusting, fermenting jars and containers.

My garbage men would never pick that up...in fact, I blew $40 on a garbage bin just like the one in the middle of that picture, and the one time I put it out, they left it.
Full of garbage.

Now, it sits as a glorified soil holder for The Mister's garden, and our garbage goes out in bags.
Because, let's face it...I don't know what kind of bin Sir Rubbish Man approves of.

They didn't even leave me a sticky to tell me why.

Are my garbage men Prima Donnas?
*sigh*
Why can't I have a blue collar garbage collector like the people in this picture have?
Instead of the Orsen Wells of Rubbish Collectors that I currently have...

Save the Drama for Your Mama.
The drama of James Brown's life continues after his death.

So, yeah...your "husband" is in the hospital with double pneumonia, and you're at a retreat.

I'm sure James took care of business.

73 goes into 35 how many times?


Here's James Brown Drunk (The Full Version)

I'm assuming that this was after his arrest for assaulting this last wife..the one that was locked out of his house this Christmas.

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Eddie Izzard on being Bi-lingual

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Shingles



A Guyanese cookie recipe, and Sorrel Drink over at Papamo

Sunday Click Around

Yesterday, I scored the B-Movie, High School Confidential for 3 bucks.
What a gem!
Chock full of hep cat talk from the '50's, taboo topics like being strung out on marijuana sticks, and having naughty, drunken aunties like Mamie Van Doren.
Here's a clip from the movie...deliciously hilarious beat poetry, because you know that beatniks and marijuana sticks went hand in hand.
I'm happy to have found this classic...next, Reefer Madness!

While we're on the topic of High School Confidential, many Canadians will remember Carole Pope's 1980's hit High School Confidential...here's a clip from Queer as Folk using the Rough Trade anthem. Carole Pope was Chrissie Hynde before Chrissie Hynde was Chrissie Hynde.
While we were on the 50's there for a second, here is cool interior decor from Plan59.

What American accent do you have
? Apparently, I've got a Philly accent, eh?
Found at Anna May Won't.

Here's a special SNL skit for Christmas making fun of Boy Bands.
It's crude, but I still laughed.

Here's "Pimp My Bride", and while we're on pimpin' shit...Pimp My Rickshaw!

I've heard a lot about Sarah Silverman...a lot of good things. I'm told by the media that she's hilarious. I have yet to laugh at a single thing I've heard come out of her mouth.
This is the best I could find, and I'm not laughing. Please. Someone explain to me how she's funny.

Here are some letters to God from kids..."Dear God, I bet it's hard for you to love all of everybody in the world. There are only 4 people in my family, and I can never do it".
Here is Jay Leno talking to some kids.

I read this article in The Globe about The Paramount Ballroom re-opening in Shanghai, and I found it fascinating how far Western culture travels. It made me think about the Ballroom scene in Joy Luck Club...to your right.
I then surfed around a little and found out that there were a lot of Russian Aristocrats that fled to China after the Revolution.
Not that it should be surprising, since the countries are right next door to each other, but I find it amusing to think of Russians attempting to learn the Chinese language. Just thinking of it makes me smile.
It's just damn interesting!

Here is Freaky Dream.
Instant dream interpretation. It's actually pretty good.
Just type in your dream, and it'll give you an interpretation.

Last but not least, the best search that brought someone here this week:
"jesus wins over satin"

That's all.

Saturday, December 23, 2006

At Slava the other night I was talking to family friends Rob and Tanja.
Rob talked about how his mother saves everything for "samtink spessiyal".

He relayed this ridiculous example to make his point.
He said that three years ago, he bought his mother nice house slippers. He said that the slippers were expensive, so it irritated him that she hadn't worn them.
Hasn't worn them yet...three years later.

When he asked her why she doesn't wear them, she replied that she was "Sayvink dem".
"For what?" asked Rob.
"For ven I go to da hospital"
"What? Is there something I don't know? Are you sick?"
"No. Bah van dey...I gonna get seck, an I gonna hev to go to da hospital...an den I gonna vyer dem"

What can you do but roll your eyes and walk away?
The effects of war trickles down through the generations.

Friday, December 22, 2006



Candy canes that aren't mint....

... are just wrong.

Dose of Dorothy

Inventory
Four be the things I am wiser to know:
Idleness, sorrow, a friend, and a foe.
Four be the things I'd been better without:
Love, curiosity, freckles, and doubt.
Three be the things I shall never attain:
Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.
Three be the things I shall have till I die:
Laughter, and hope and a sock in the eye.

~Dorothy Parker~

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Shut up about that Christmas tree in the courthouse already!

I can't believe that we're still talking about it.

"Ontario may need a "Christmas tree placement policy" for the 165 courthouses in the province after a Toronto judge ordered a small tree removed from the lobby of a courthouse"



You have got to be kidding me.

Meetings, and discussion and policy writing, ad nauseam to follow.
Surely there are more pressng things to waste taxpayers money on...like more speed bumps on hardly travelled residential streets, bike lanes on busy Toronto streets that are already clogged with slow streetcars, or harrassing homeowners who attempt to cut down branches from overgrown trees attempting to poke a hole through their second floor windows.

"We will continue to monitor the progress of this particular Christmas tree."
Yes...you do that.
Follow it around with a newspaper with holes cut out for your eyes.
Notify the RCMP, and CSIS on it's movements.
Does it have any red balls? It might be a Communist.

This kind of shit gives me a headache.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Tales From the Slava Table...

Sveti Nikola was last night, our Slava.

Mama bought Tetka Ljuba a flowering plant one year about a decade ago, and for some reason, this plant's pink blossoms flower and open every year around Sveti Nikola.

It's a sign.
A miracle.
A wonder.

Every year at the table, Uja talks about the plant and how it blooms for Slava every year.

Tetka Ljuba cut her finger a few days before the dinner, and was freaking out.
However, Teta Mara helped her out this year by doing all the cooking...Tetka Ljuba doing the directing.
"She baas me!" Teta Mara declared over the table last night.
Mama didn't come because she wasn't feeling well. I spoke to her this morning and she's better now. This is good...I thought I was in trouble for a moment.
This year was like every year...loud singing in Serbian, drinking, eating, fighting off food, cognac and wine.

Quotes from the table:

"Ya, yu gadda go to Cuba before Castro kick da baket. Ven he die, the prizes..." he whistles, and puts his thumb in the air.

I noticed that Uja had a little mark on his nose.
"Uja, what happened to your nose?"
His eyebrows went up in resignation, "Tetka Ljuba punch me"

This little exchange is hilarious, if you know Tetka Ljuba.

Cika Nikola proclaimed the soup delicious and boomed to Tetka Ljuba that "Now yu ken get marry!"...to which Tetka Ljuba replied "Eeesss too late!!!"

Everytime someone tried to fill Teta Mara's snifter with cognac, she would look to the ceiling and twist her hand like she was screwing in a lightbulb, and say "Yu try to keel me" and then she'd cross herself and laugh.

Yeah...it's the beginning of the holidays.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Todays Headlines.

If they keep this up, they'll arrest every man in Ipswich. That'll corner 'im.

No good deed goes unpunished.

Yes, it's true...humans can track a scent too.
Now, if we can only get some people to bathe more often.

Workplace rumours are largely true. No shit?
They're not the brainchild of those horrible, meanspirited busybodies?

Yeah...the OJ book wasn't enough to ensure she'll never work in publishing again. Just for good measure, lash out in an anti-Semitic rant
.
See you behind the counter at the local coffee shop, Judith...because with this display..you won't even be able to get a job as a Barrista.

So...move out.
Oh, yeah...if you move out, no more free maid service and free rent.
So, just stay home and mail letters to The Star whinging.

Tonight is Slava.
News at 11.

Monday, December 18, 2006

Greed, Greedy, Greediest...

While we on the topic of poverty, and the Schuetts in my Sunday Click Around... over the weekend, The Mister was talking about Christmas when he was a kid and how great it was.
All his memories, from "back home in Guyana"
...I relayed a memory I had.

When I was a kid, we were dirt poor.
Gifts were never a big thing at Christmas, and even less so when my mother couldn't afford to put food on the table.

I had a neighbourhood friend named Darlene who had a regular family (mum, dad, sister, brother, dog, fireplace, house), with regular family things at Christmas time.
Her house was full of gifts, Christmas stockings and decorations and things...the kind of things you see on the Afternoon Special on TV.
She got all the things I longed for.
Not only did she have, like, 9 barbies, 4 kens, Barbie Camper, house, and furniture for it...she had tons of toys that she just threw around, and treated like garbage.

I had two Barbies, that I took care of, made clothes for that were hand sewn with needle and thread with pieces of fabric Tetka Ljuba gave me from the factory job she had as a Sewing Machine Operator.
I made my Barbie house and furniture from shoe boxes, bits and pieces I found around the house, and cardboard boxes.
I Painted my houses using cheap water colour palettes Mama bought at Lent's variety store across the street at the corner of Dunn and Queen.

One year, around Christmas time, Darlene borrowed one of my Barbies and refused to give it back when I asked for it.
Sometime between Christmas and New Years that year, I went to her house demanding my Barbie back...she wouldn't give it.
I kicked the shit out of her, and got in big trouble afterward.
I never got that Barbie back, but I'll never forget how greedy Darlene was.

...ahhh, good christmas times....

It just reminds me that the more people have, the greedier they are.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

SUNDAY CLICK-AROUND



I've seen the above jpeg in a few places recently, and honestly...I could put about 4 different company names in the pay line. Here is a site that has it up along with a few other funny pictures.

Combos has a new spokesperson, "Man-mom" with the pitch line being, "What mom would feed you, if your mom was a man". It's actually pretty funny. Watch some of the ads, here.

Lately, I've been watching mini-documentaries on various things. I am fascinated with Daniel Tammet from Bristol, England. His is a savant. He can do incredible math problems in his head, speaks nine languages and can learn a new one in seven days. In this documentary, we follow Daniel Tammet across the US as he's tested by scientists, and meets Kim Peek the man that Dustin Hoffman's Rainman character is based on. He travels to Iceland to do an interview on national television in Icelandic after he's given only seven days to learn the language. It's pretty amazing.
This documentary on Daniel Tammet is 45 minutes long, but worth it if you find this subject as interesting as I do. While we're on the topic, here's a group of brains competing in a rubics cube contest. Tyson Mao wins. Blindfolded.

StoryCorps is a site with sound bites of everyday people telling stories about their lives. I listened to quite a few stories and I found them interesting. Some people are too impatient for this sort of thing, but I find the small stories of people worth reading. It's why I'm addicted to blogs. Maybe you'll find them interesting too.

Office Max has a site that lets you "Elf Yourself". I've pretty much elfed everyone I know (and some that I don't know) that I have pictures of. Maybe you might like to as well.

Time Tales is a wonderful site full of found photos, with any text on the back of the photos documented, along with where the photo was found. You can browse the site by decade.
Years ago, people always wrote on the back of photos. Something that isn't done so much anymore.

Need an alibi to get out of something?
Going on a date or on an obligatory visit to someone and don't want to stay long? MobileAlibi.com will call you on your cell phone at any time you decide with any excuse you like using the generated voice of either "Samantha" or "Chris".
They'll do it for free.
I haven't tested it out, and if you do...let me know if it works.

Years ago, I knew a Trauma Nurse. She used to tell me interesting stories about working in a famous Toronto hospital's trauma unit. Here's a list of bizarre reports from hospitals across the states. Truth is stranger than fiction, because you can't even make this kind of shit up. No one would believe you.

Now, for the comedy: This is a serious article from CNN Money.com about The Schuetts who earn a "comfortable living", and still can't make ends meet.
Apparently, Mrs Schuett makes $150,000 a year, and her husband is now a stay at home Dad since he was laid off from his $120,000 a year job. They have 4 children, and they're *sniff, pass the kleenex* having a hard time making ends meet...they're living from paycheque to paycheque....I was with the whole, "once you're at a certain level, it's hard to come down..." until I read the second to last paragraph:

"Last year, for instance, Brian's parents gave the Schuetts a horse named Red for their kids to ride. They think it will cost a few hundred dollars a month to feed and care for the animal, and they're willing to give up ballet lessons and gymnastics classes for the girls to pay for it.

The trade-off is worth it, says Brian, because "the kids so love having a horse."

In fact, Amy has already got a name if they get a second horse: Buttercup. "We'll probably have to wait a while for that," says Brian. "We've got another beast to tame first.""

Oh, shut.the.fuck.up.
Is this serious?
Are we actually supposed to have sympathy for this family's financial problems?
...Yes...for those of you with those piffling "food on the table, clothes on your back, buspass for the month" problems..pay attention to some families who are really suffering!
Both the Schuetts and CNNmoney (for thinking this is a serious problem), can kiss my forced to adjust to whatever comes ass.
Thanks to Cynical-C for the link

I think that's it for now, kids.

Friday, December 15, 2006

When I Rule the World...



Satin?

Gone.

Today's Quote:


"The difference between being a cynic and a realist is the number of times you've been kicked in the head"

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

I have nothing to say today.

Here's a picture of me at my first home in Toronto. We lived on Tyndall Avenue where my father was a superintendent, while my mother worked two jobs (a dishwasher and seamstress).
This picture was taken a few months before my father left for good.
When I look at that picture I think about how protected and innocent I was.
A few months from then, life took a detour.

Addendum:
While looking at that photo, I remembered that during that time I was teased at school mercilessly by Simon B. Cotter.
I looked him up and it appears that he's doing quite well. Simon lived in the house across the street (to the left) of the horrible mean grass lady whose house is visible right behind myself and my ridiculously short dress in that picture. The internet is an amazing thing, no?
I know what the "B" stands for in Simon B. Cotter. It's Bartholemew.
My father went over to his house to discuss his torture of me at school with his Pastor/Reverand father, and things changed...and I quite liked Simon after that.
Just some minor trivia no one but me cares about.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Goodness Gracious Me, it's Christmas!

Monday, December 11, 2006



I'm not being insensitive.
It just occurred to me that as shitty as things may get, I'm not going to die flipping my Ferrari, flying my personal plane into a building in Manhattan, or in a skiing accident in Aspen.

At least.

In other news, I'm #1 if you're searching for "the shelf life of queens"

And another thing...if the four year old in this case is charged, I've got a retro case against at least 40 kids. I think all teachers who have worked with Kindergarteners have a case. This teacher's aid needs to get over herself.



"Tenor Roberto Alagna marched off the stage at La Scala when the audience booed him during the second performance of Franco Zeffirelli's Aida".

Who's going to the Opera now?
Wrestling fans?

Besides, look at that outfit...BOO...BOO...

I know it's the wrong Kingdom, but when I look at that outfit all I can think of is the line: "He has a wife you know....her name is Incontinentia"

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Sunday Click Around

I got a real kick out of Scared of Santa. When my younger stepson was little, he was scared shitless of Santa too. Frankly, it's a strange thing to put your kid on the lap of an oddly dressed total stranger. I'm surprised more kids don't scream their heads off.

The other day, Eva from And another thing wrote this post on what constitutes art. It put me in mind of The Gates...Do you remember the kerffuffle that was created with The Gates in Central Park? Obviously, I'm a pedestrian because I thought it was shite, and a grand waste of good money. Then I remembered Stephen Colbert's report on The Gates, and had a laugh all over again!

I also burned some time on Knuttz.net. I found really interesting jewellery made from silverware. I would totally wear some of it.
If you're interested in carpeting designs, here is a link to casino carpets. Lots of these carpets...ok most of these carpets are really, really busy. Here are some funny vegetables too. Someone had a lot of time on their hands...and a small paring knife.

I've had a long time love of The Palais Royale Ballroom on Lakeshore Blvd here in Toronto.
Home of many wartime dances, featuring some of the best big bands of the era. The Legion Hall is still just a little east of the Palais.
My soft spot is mostly because I grew up in Parkdale, and I've been to some kickass concerts (Third World, The Selecter, The Specials to name a few) and parties there.
When they boarded it up, I thought they were tearing it down, as Toronto seems to love to do to anything with charm or history attached. I was pleased to see that they've actually restored it!!! Halleluyah!
Have a look at what they've done with it...I'm vaklempt. First The Drake, then The Gladstone, now starting on The Edgewater...could it be a trend? I sure hope so. For more nostalgic photos and current changes, check out Parkdale.tv.

What is love? Well, it certainly isn't a September 11 divorce.
In the same vein, here's the Text Message Break-up from Joni Mueller.

How (not)To Be Happy.

And last but not least...She's so skinny!

That's all for now.

Saturday, December 09, 2006

Tis the Season

I've done entries in the past about how much I hate point of purchase shake downs for charity.
Large companies and banks ask for a dollar for their pet charity, and then get to look like they're doing something plus get a nice tax break for doing it.
It's good business, and I suppose it's good for the charity too...but unless they match what they take from the consumer, it's unethical...in my opinion.
That's why I won't give that dollar.
I'd rather drop it in the Salvation Army cup, or donate $10 to Goodwill.

Then there are the companies who use charity to sell their products.
In 2002, The Gap donated $1 for every bra sold across Canada for the month of June and the sales at Gap Body went up 30% for the month of the promotion.
If their sales went up 30%, shouldn't their donation to the cause go up 30%?
Eh, it's business. I suppose they spent money advertising the campaign, and bringing attention to the cause, right?

Yoplait donated ten cents for every pink yogurt lid mailed back to the company—it would take 6 lids just to make up for the price of the stamp, if you were sending it from Toronto.

There are those that say that in our capitalist culture, the only way to get people to contribute to charities is to combine giving with taking. I buy, you give something to the charity of your choice.

This feeds into the whole "What's in it for me" mentality that is already quite well fed...and just like the waitress and bartender who overtip because they know what the job entails...those that seem to give directly to a charity are those who work in fields that are helped by those charities, and know how important it is to help.

This mornings article in The Star about MADD's (Mothers Against Drunk Driving) `exorbitant costs', and how only $ .19 of each of the 12 million dollars they raised actually went to programs.
Reading the article on MADD makes it appear that their programs are actually run on the backs of their volunteers.

Most of money raised was apparently spent on fundraising and administration costs.

Charity as a "make work" project.
Something to keep people employed?
Ok, is that bad? I guess it depends on how much administration is getting paid.
I've heard people say the same thing about cancer charities. I've heard it said that there is a cancer industry. That there will never be a cure because it employs too many people.
Just like there is a depression industry.
Now, through commercials you can decide which medication you think you should take and you can "ask your Doctor", who may get a kickback from the drug company for any prescription he/she writes....but that's another post.

Maybe charity is actually only an illusion. Something to keep the curtain up while commerce just keeps rolling along, while people who really do believe in the good of human nature volunteer, and donate to causes that have personal importance to them.

Eh, don't listen to me...I'm a cynic.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Lifestyles
of the
Poor & Landed.


Last week I wrote this post about how my mother used to stage photo layouts to send home to family so that they would know that we weren't starving over here in Canada.

I promised that I would search for some of the photos to post here. Well, I'll tell you that it's no easy feat since I don't organize photos and searching through dusty boxes makes me realize that I really should take some time to organize some of these gems. To your left is Mama. I think she was about 28 there. Notice the bling? That photo was not for sending home...she's smoking.

But this photo of Mama pouring coffee for Uja was for sending home.
Check out Uja.
I love the smoov pose.
Uja in the driveway with some buddy with his car was for sending home....and so was this sad photo of the three of us in the living room with empty cups taken from the kitchen to the living room...part of the same session.
I haven't been able to find most of the photos I was referring to. I'm still searching for the photo of most of our family who was in Canada...(just before Uja came) sitting around in the living room of my fathers sisters house. I'm on the phone in that photo...who could a eight year old be chatting on the phone with? No one...because I was on the phone for the photo...see?
See family back home..... we have a phone too!!!!

I'm still searching...as I find them, I'll post them.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Tell Me a Secret

This was done a while ago by Kat at Idle Thoughts, and I think it's a great idea.
Tell me something that you'd love to tell someone else.... if you could.
Your boss, your friend, your co-worker, your inlaw, or your nemesis...

I'll start:

"Stop with the drama. No one is conspiring against you and it's just fucking exhausting and irritating. You're not that important"

Now you....
I won't tell anyone...you are welcome to be anonymous.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Intolerance

This is the second time in two weeks I've seen this woman who looks to be in her 70's carrying this big ass kid on her back. Here she is again, shuffling along, big puffs of white breath coming out of her mouth, looking really burdened.

It took everything I had to quell my inner Yenta and not pull up next to them and shout:

"WALK, YOU LAZY LITTLE BASTARD!"

Saturday, December 02, 2006

SuNDaY cLiCK ArOUnD

Stephen Wiltshire is described as an autistic savant. His art is pretty impressive, and YouTube has two short clips of Shephen where he is flown over both Rome and Tokyo for under an hour, and is asked to reproduce a drawing up to ten metres in length of the aerial view of both cities. Here is the clip from Rome, and the other of Tokyo.

Since it's close to Christmas, here's an article on a guy who bought the house where A Christmas Story was filmed and then renovated it to look exactly like it did in the film, complete with leg lamp in the window. I heard him interviewed on the CBC, apparently he's made a good living making leg lamps like the one in the movie. I didn't know that most of the movie was filmed in Toronto and St Catherines. Go figure....

Remember the fast talking FedEx guy? Me too. I met him at a party in Forest Hill a hundred years ago. He's a nice guy. I wonder what he's doing now?

I've seen this display of photoshoped pictures before
. The ones where you pass the mouse over them and see what the photo looked like before the fix. The interesting thing is that with many of the photos, I liked them better before the brushing. What can I say? I like flaws in peoples looks...it's makes them...I dunno...more human.

The Plain English Campaign claims to have been fighting for "crystal clear communication since 1979". This is something that comes in very handy for elementary school, and high school teachers. They need the "befores".

This site has a lot of full episodes of programs like The Office (both the US and UK versions), South Park and more. If you don't mind watching them on a tiny little screen.

For someone like me who is currently obsessing about my weight, Mealographer helps you count every little calorie that you're stuffing into your gob, and gives you the fat content as well as the vitamin content.
yay.

Want to know what your name means?

I used to despise James Spader, but since his stint on The Practice, and now on Boston Legal...I LOVE HIM!!! I was watching him interviewed in some old clips, and whoever it was that was interviewing him stated that he was great at playing villainous characters and he said, "Yes. I really had that teenage asshole thing cornered, didn't I?"

Here's a stupid little game. If you have 26 minutes to blow out your bum, watch The Blair Thumb Part 1, Part 11, and Part 3.

And lastly, Britney Spears vagina speaks!
Crude as it is, I still laughed.

That's it kids....

Bar Scenes - Guess the Movie/Show


















Friday, December 01, 2006

A Good Family is Everything

I haven't given much thought to gay marriage or gay parenting.
Truthfully, it didn't really concern me. Two people love each other, they want to get married...it's all good.
I haven't had much experience with gay parenting either. I've known people who had parents who were gay, and times were different when I was younger.
I had to blog about this today because I've gotten to know a couple whose adopted little boy was recently enrolled at my centre (not the family in the photo). The little boy (I'll call him Sammy) is developmentally delayed, and the birth mother is a drug addict.
One of the classes is doing a unit on "Families" and asked that all children bring in a family photo. Sammy's Daddy and Pappa sent in a Sears Family photo of the three of them, Sammy in the middle and all smiling from ear to ear.
When I saw the photo, my heart melted.
It really did.
This family which is by many considered "unconventional" in a very conventional photo.
This couple who have adopted a child with special needs, and are petrified that the bio-mom may come back for Sammy (the adoption isn't final), are pioneers. Pioneers in this section of the city which is full of working class immigrants, low income families, and small pockets of educated more sophisticated residents.

If this family is any representation of gay parents....those that oppose gay marriage and parenting should just STFU.

Parenting is hard.
Choosing to parent a child that you know has special needs is a blessing to this world.
Whoever chooses to do it, is a hero.

Photo via: The Gay Parenting Page

Thursday, November 30, 2006



I'm a sucker for dedicated Dads

Here's the true story.



I'm a sucker for the song Ooh Child

Is Oprah White?

According to Fiddy she is.

"the rapper says Winfrey "started out with black women's views but has been catering to middle-aged white American women for so long that she's become one herself. I think the idea of being publicly noted that she's a billionaire makes [black women] interested in seeing her views. But it's even more exciting to the demographic of white American women she's been aiming at to see that she has the exact same views that they have.""

Damn.
He's all articulate'n shit.

Photo via: Anne Elizabeth Sexton

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

ATTENTION!!!

There is absolutely no reason for a 52 year old woman to be taking Pole Dancing Classes.

Exercise?
Cut the shit.
Please.

When you tell me you're taking pole dancing classes, I immediately assume that you're having a menopausal crisis.

Monday, November 27, 2006

HELLO!

One of my weaknesses at the gym is reading Hello Magazine.
Lives of the rich and famous, and sometimes just the rich. I like Hello Magazine for the same reason that I like Vanity Fair...only Hello celebrates and Vanity tears.

The photos in Hello are what get me.

Tonight, while torturing myself on the treadmill, I saw (I say saw because I didn't read it) an article on Debbie Reynolds and Carrie Fisher...the photo spread was great!

Debbie and Carrie drinking fake tea, and fake cooking in a sterile, model home kitchen.
A photo of Debbie mock chastising Carrie at the open (suspiciously spotless) oven door in an immaculate kitchen.

This is twice in a couple of days I'm reminded of something my mother used to do when I was a kid.

She used to take rolls of film of fake family gatherings to send "back home".

Us sitting in the kitchen drinking Turkish Coffee from empty cups.
Uja stirring an empty pot on the stove with all the appliances shown in the photo.
Sitting in the immaculately cleaned living room with a decanter and glasses, with the T.V. and stereo system circumstantially shown in the photo...all this to show my grandparents that we were doing ok.

That we weren't starving, and that we had "things", things that maybe other family "back home" didn't have.

It wasn't until today that I realized that we used to send our own "rich and famous" magazine layouts "back home".

(If I find some of the photos, which I know that I have...I'll scan and post them)

Quirks of immigrants..you gotta love 'em.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Sunday CLick-ARound...

So, I think that it's clear that I love all things vintage...and I always have. Even when I was 18 I was sporting dresses and suits from the 1940's. This link to Vintage Ads caught my eye.

But, while I was on the main website...I saw some pretty funny pictures. Like this extreme mullet, and this cover of Parents Magazine.

If you're interested in movies, Daily Motion Movie Vids, is a compliation of video clips from movies from various free hosts like YouTube, Google Video and so on.

The Accent Archive is awesome!!! If you like listening to accents, the link is a list of languages with audio of a person reading a strange little paragraph in order to illustrate that persons accent while speaking English.
It's great. Someone like me can burn quite a bit of time there. For example, try Afrikaans from Pretoria, or Yoruba from Benin, or Punjabi from Pakistan, or of course...Serbian from Zrenjanin.

How about this map of how American foreign policy makers see the world.

While we're on the subject of the world, how about a collection of recipes from around the world? This site has a few that I'd like to try. I was disappointed to not see any Serbian recipes...but, eh...waddayagonna do?
While we're on recipes, and Christmas will be on top of us in a minute...here's BetterBaking.com.
I'll be trying the Pecan Pie Recipe (probably next weekend).

The Web Economy Bullshit Generator will be great for those bullshit motivational meetings, where semantics mean more than action, and work.

Ok, and last but not least...My friend Krysss from Krysss.com has mentioned to me a few times that I should check out the virtual world of Second Life. Well, I finally did...that's virtual me on the right at shopping for shoes in SL. I must say that it's an amazing game.

No. Really.
You should check it out. I'm not even going to say anything because whatever I say...you're not going to get the full idea until you've played yourself.

That's all folks...

Friday, November 24, 2006

Women!
Know Your Limits...




Yes, Tanja that is Tito at a dinner party.

Link via Funkaoshi

If you don't know me by now,
You will never never never know me...


I don't tell people that my husband is not white.
It's just not something you can pop into a conversation and not look like an ass.
So, often people will know me for months, even years in a professional setting and not know, and apparently this is an important piece of information for some people.
Ostensibly, it says something about me as a person to some people.

I was speaking with a woman whom I interact with almost daily.
We've had laughs and conversation. We've shared jokes, and fashion advice, and I quite liked her.

Until yesterday, when she talked about "those people", and how "they" behave, and how "they" don't come out for parent nights, or get involved in Parent Councils, but "they're" the first ones to come in guns-a-blazin' playing the race card when "they're" not happy with something.

I told her that my husband was always involved with his children's schooling, talking to Principals, and Teachers, he was always interested in what was going on, and behaved in a civilized manner with people...and it took her a moment to connect the dots.
Then, I told her that my husband is one of "them".

Then she looked embarrassed, and uncomfortable.
She then started with the "not all, but...you have to admit..."

Now, I can't ever see her the same way again.
But frankly, I don't care how she sees me.

And that's sad, because really I should take this as an opportunity to show her how wrong she is to make the assumption...you know...the whole one person at a time thing...

I'm too tired to convince her.

It's true when they say that one thing can change your mind about someone forever.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Kelly/Clay non-issue.

If you want to watch it, here is Kelly talking about it.

And really, who cares?

I don't, but I'll get to my point.

While looking around I caught Rosie O'Donnell talking to Kelly Ripa about it on The View, and the discussion went to "He put his hand over my mouth...and I have kids....you know..." and then a couple of the others chimed in with "I have kids...".
The irritating blonde on the show piped in with "If you don't have kids, you don't understand", or something like that.
Watch it here, if you're so inclined...

You know what I know about kids?

I know that they will eat snot, they will lick surfaces, they will pick stuff up off the floor and put it in their mouthes, they will eat dirt, they will play in their own shit if you let them...

They're more likely to get sick from their daily kid behaviours, than from Clay Aikens hand over their moms mouth.

I think that all those sanctimonious professional mommies would know that if their kids nannies bothered to tell them.

Duh.

Good health is tied to economics, and where you live.

No shit?
People feel shittier about their circumstances and health when they live in neighbourhoods that are run down and crime infested?
No. kidding.

How do I get in on this "study" scam?
Studies that we the taxpayers fund.

Next on the Rip Off the Taxpayer study agenda:

~Why do inmates try to escape prison?
~Can fish get drunk?
~At what rate do oversize jeans slide down your bum?
~Can McDonalds 7 times a week make you obese?
~Is the colour sky blue, actually "aqua"?
~Chocolate or Cheese Fondue preferences of Factory Workers.
~Are there more male or female hairdressers?
~Is crack addictive?
~Girls who wrestle in their underpants, and wet t-shirts...do they do it for the money?

Oh, I could go on and on....

Monday, November 20, 2006

Pitching a Fit,
Instead of a Tent.


Anyone who knows me, knows that I don't believe in big, stress-inducing weddings.
Yeah, I know...what a chicky chick.
So, when I read this article about a couple in New Zealand who sent back their tent because they didn't like it, and received an insulting e-mail from the company who provided it...

I laughed, and laughed.

Obviously, not only the bride is prone to bad behaviour when there's a wedding planned.

"The firm's office manager, Katrina Jorgensen, had written: 'Your wedding sounded cheap, nasty and tacky anyway, so we only ever considered you time wasters. Our marquees are for upper class clients which unfortunately you are not. Why don't you stay within your class levels and buy something from Payless Plastics instead.'"

Meow!

A family owned company.... the e-mail to the couple from the wife of the owner.
She's been fired.
By her husband.

How'd you like to hang at their house for the next little while?
The air would be a little thick, no?

Who?

Eva Avila, that's who.
Singing the National Anthem at Grey Cup.
She strutted out like she was somebody.
Hair a'flickin' - Check
Nose up - Check
Shoulders back - Check
Assistant to hold your Starbucks - Check


I had to ask, "Who is she?"
"Canadian Idol winner", says Stepson.

Good luck with that.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Sunday Click Around

I love old pictures of Jackie Kennedy-Onassis, and Audrey Hepburn. Style, grace and beauty. Here's a link to a MOMA Exhibit of Jackies White House Years. Here's another link to Jackie at Swingin' Chicks of the 60's.
Here's Audrey Hepburns site, chock full of lovely pictures of her.

Two beautiful and stylish women.

Remember Jack Handy?
Well, here is a compliation of his "Deep Thoughts".

FOUND Magazine is a website that asks you to submit notes that you might have found anywhere. It's kind of interesting because it's a little snippet in time from someone else's life. If you're like me, you can build a whole life around one of these found notes or grocery lists.

Life Magazine has always had some of the best photojournalists in the world on their staff.
Alfred Eisenstaedt would be one of them.

Remember little 11 year old Bianca Ryan? The kid with the adult singing voice?
Here's another clip.

Cynical-C posted a list of faux pas from around the world.
It's quite fascinating, you should look at it.

Extra-pine has a funny little interactive thing on it's website. It's called CleaningHunk.com.
You choose one of two guys to clean your house, and then you can watch them clean either the kitchen or the bathroom while shirtless. You can choose Brian or Jason and you can dress them up as construction workers or gladiators, and then you can fool yourself into pretending they're not gay.

I've linked this site before, but it's worth linking to again. It's a fun site with humourous lists of...what else? 5ives.

Coverage of the TomKat wedding.

That's all.

Overheard at the Gym...



"Beauty is but fleeting...stupid is forever".

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Morning Drive





The Mister and me saw St. Elias Church on our drive this morning.
At first I thought it was an Orthodox Church because of the architecture, and The Mister swung off the main road for us to have a better look...but it turns out that it's a Ukrainian Catholic Church built entirely out of wood.

Very beautiful.

Ok. I found this on YouTube off of their website.
I'm no religion expert, but their services look suspiciously Orthodox, minus the black taller hats, tunics and beards.
Orthodox Catholics, anyone?

Ladies with an attitude, fellas who were in the mood...

I hate when society blames men for single motherhood.

I'm not talking about how your marriage didn't work out and now you're a single mom.
I'm talking about hooking up with someone, getting pregnant when you know the relationship is going nowhere, and having the child anyway.

Having to have the child may have held water 30 years ago, but these days when there are 100 different methods of birth control, the morning after pill and abortion...the only women who are having children are those who willingly choose to do so.

I know that there's the whole "right to life" and "religious convictions" thing going on, but I fail to comprehend how one religious conviction cancels out another...for example, having the child is more important than obstaining from sex before marriage...which would also be a "conviction" that was in place to avoid the latter, crucial conviction, no?

I've seen many a woman use pregnancy and motherhood as an excuse to not move forward with their own educational, financial independance and development.

What prompted this post is friend of mine who sent me an article by a woman who was essentially blaming a certain culture of men for single motherhood in her community.
(If you want the link to the article, e-mail me. I didn't link to it because my post isn't about her article per se.)
I realize that marriage isn't for everyone...and I know I've done a post on this topic before...but I think that often women will sabotage their own development by having children, and then use the children as an excuse for not being able to move forward with their own lives.
Strong and independant women will move forward with or without children.

Weak women will allow themselves to be pulled down by circumstances and bad life choices driven by their own low self-worth and poor judgement.

If you're not happy with how you're living...I don't understand how bringing an innocent child into the mix is going to make things easier for you.

Someone please explain to me how men are to blame for single parenthood?

Friday, November 17, 2006

You know what's sad?

I read an article that had Diddy quoted as saying,

"As meticulous as I am with my work, I'm even more meticulous with my lovemaking. … I like to do it for a long time. Sometimes I'm making love and she's like, 'You gonna save some for the honeymoon?'"
What's sad is that without his money and luck, he'd just be another hig headed, can't close his mouth for the overbite guy...and not a particularly good looking one at that.

Age is a scourger, money is a savior.


Apparently, Yael Nezri, a private in the Israeli Army, says the bruises are making it difficult for her to model in photo shoots. She's been granted an exemption by her commanders for her two-year army stint.

Great.

Now, all she has to do is get The Man from Glad to stop dressing her. This dress made from garbage bags, with a kitchen catcher fringe has got to go.

So does the other matronly crap they're dressing her in.
Bleh.
She's a beautiful girl, she shouldn't put up with it.
Oh yeah...she's not carrying her gun anymore.

Damn

Wednesday, November 15, 2006



5 Interesting Things About Me:

1. I will repeat myself. I will. Really. I will.
2. I am self taught.
3. I am a Stepmother.
4. I will take a lot of shit, but when I'm done.
I'm Done.
5. For two summers I worked at the Toronto Immigration Detainee Centre at the Airport.