Saturday, December 11, 2004

Professional Shopping

My sister in law (from here on known as Insane Woman) talked me into going to the Umbra sale at the C.N.E. today.

My sister in law is a professional shopper.
I am an amateur.

Two weeks ago when she said "come to the Umbra sale with me", I was all like, "sure".
Until she told me that I would have to get up at 5:00 am on a Saturday morning.
Then, I took the steps I thought would be sufficient to get myself out of going.

Insane Woman wasn't having any of it.

See folks, I'm not a full fledged chick.
I hate shopping.
I hate crowds.
I taught myself to sew just so I could avoid some shopping.

When, Insane Woman showed up at 6:00am with coffee, muffins and a highly annoying chipper attitude, it took everything I had in my body to not slam the door in her face, and go back to bed.
I even said, "If you weren't so damn cute, I'd fucking kill you right now".
She gave me the finger and told me to get in the van.

Yes people.
The Van.

When we got to the Automotive Building at the C.N.E. at 6:20am, the line was already half way around the building.
It was then that Insane Woman told me that the doors didn't open until 9:00am.


"It's ok" she chirped, "I brought you extra mittens, a hat, and I even brought you a little backpack so that you don't have to carry your purse"...with that, she grabbed her collapsable chair and made a dash for the line.

As the line started to move at 9:01am, one woman tried to butt into the line by claiming that she was looking for her sister in law.
All the people in line were watching her like chicken hawks....murmers went through the crowd, and I have a feeling that if she had attempted to get into the building, they would have attacked her.

Have any of you ever been to one of these sales?
These people are serious.
They push, shove, elbow, thrust their boxes at you, and move really quickly.

I got some great deals.
I couldn't wait to get out of that insane asylum.
Early in the game, I lost Insane Woman.

When I took this picture

I was done, and hiding in a corner of the building waiting for Insane Woman to finish.

Never. Again.