Stupid Parking Tricks


When not in use to house shopping carts, it's obvious that it's a car park for seniors.

West Indian Parenting Tip #347


The Mister's cousin has 3 children, now all in their teens.
When the oldest one was 16 or so, there were arguments about her curfew (natch).

One time during an argument with her father, she stormed out of the room during a lecture narrated by her father, stomped up to her room and SLAMMED the door.

The next day, her father took the door off it's hinges and put it in the basement for three weeks proclaiming:
"When she own she own dor, she can slam it aaaallll she wan. But, while I ownin' de dor, der be noooo slammin' dor roun here!"

Voila!
No more door slamming.

Bwaahahahahahahh!

Friday 8:30pm

The phone rings:

Mom: "Hi haney...vat yu doink?"

Me: "I'm cooking, ma"

Mom: "Heeeeh, lele....cooking SO LATE?"

Me: "I just got home an hour ago...and the maid has the day off"

Mom: "Ya, yu mekka jokes. Vai da Meesta neva Kook?"

Me: "He does sometimes, but he gets home later than me..."

Mom: "I kaal, an yu alveys da van to be kookink....yu shood kam hom late too, an
don hev to kook, jas like heem..."

Me: "Why would I do that, ma?".

Mom: "Eh, tis is vai I neve vant to be marry again...iss too mach no fare...how's yu car? An da Meesta's car? ok?"

Is it normal to ask after the health of vehicles?

100 Things I Love
Totally inspired by LN of Stranger in a Strange Land

1. The Mister 2. My Family 3. Languages 4. movies from the 60’s 5. Poems by Dorothy Parker 6. The smell of pavement after a summer shower 7. A blanket right out of the dryer on a cold winter night. 8. My car. 9. Old school funk. 10. The first day when you really feel like it’s spring and you can smell it. 11. My oldest friend Karla (cmok!) 12. Stand up comedy 13. Ethnic food (because I can’t decide which cultures food I like the best). 14. Sitting on the front stoop on a summers night, just (as my niece says…) “chillaxin’”. 15. Ex YU movies. 16. Ex Yu Music 17. Finishing a project. 19. Hearing about the traditions of other cultures. 20. A cold beer and a cigarette. 21. New clothes 22. New shoes or boots. 23. Long distance phone calls with people I love on the other end of the line. 24. Kind neighbours. 25. Driving really late at night or really early in the morning. 26. BBQ in the backyard on a summer night. 27. Finally getting someone to understand something. 28. Any movies with drag queens in it. 29. Road trips with The Mister. 30. Gibanica 31. Foreign accents. 32. The National Anthem. 33. Mounties. 34. The song “Tamo Daleko” 35. The colour red. 36. Getting a real honest to goodness letter in the mail. 37. Kurt Vonnegut 38. Mafia movies. 39. Maps. 40. Black and white photos of the 40’s and 50’s. 41. Art Deco and Art Nouveau. 42. Middle Eastern music. 43. Pictures of Greece. 44. Old school reggae music. 45. Rohinton Mistry. 46. Pam Grier. 47. Psalms. 48. Reading blogs. 49. 60’s sitcoms. 50. Older couples holding hands and walking together. 51. Men playing with children. 52. Straight forward, no bullshit people. 53. Other people’s children. 54. The smell of fresh cut grass. 55. The smell of wood burning on a winter night. 56. Shoveling snow on a clear winter night (believe it or not) 57. Wearing The Misters T-shirts after he’s worn them. 58. Being all dressed up, and feeling all pretty in high heels with my hair done. 59. The feeling I get when the whole house is clean at the same time. 60. Drinking coffee and watching Coronation Street in bed with The Mister on Sunday mornings (Yes..he watches it too!) 61. Gustav Klimt 62. Turkish coffee and having my cup read. 63. Etta James. 64. My mother in law and sister in law. 65. Getting my car washed. 66. Listening to a good book on tape while I’m driving. 67. Listening to Dr. Laura in my car and yelling at her when she gets all uppity. 68. Serbian expressions. 69. West Indian expressions. 70. Having people over for dinner. 71. Watching kids play. 72. Gospel music. 73. Telling jokes. 74. Vinyl records. 75. Samuel L. Jackson. 76. Quentin Terantino movies.( I didn’t like Kill Bill though) 77. Getting a manicure.
78. Wendy’s salads. 79. Soup. 80. A good debate. 81. Listening to people tell stories about their lives. 82. Finding another Slav in the blogosphere (ie: Branka & Kat). 83. Driving fast when I’m “in the zone”. 84. Having a good hair day. 85. Crossing things off of my list. 86. Sidney Portier. 87. Jazz. 88. Trying a new recipe and having it turn out great. 89. Perfume. 90. Turtleneck Sweaters. 91. Ceca. 92. Sari fabric. 93. Watching my niece Kamika dance. 94. Watching my cousin Tanja Salsa dance. 95. People who like to laugh. 96. Venice. 97. Belgrade and Dubrovnik. 98. Cemeteries. 99. Photographs of people. 100. My sanity.