Thursday, March 05, 2009

When is a woman allowed to retire from parenting?

“There are some parents who probably don’t have a realistic expectation of how invested their parents should be in the grandchildren,” said Dr. Gail Saltz, a Manhattan psychiatrist. “But because this generation’s children are the center of their universe, it’s hard not to take the grandparents’ ‘why should I be bothered?’ attitude personally.”

I dunno.
I think that it's great when a grandparent is very involved with their grandchildren...but, I also think that an adult child shouldn't expect their parents to be "hands on" in their family.

After all, if you choose to have three children a year apart, why should your mother have to come in and save the day for you?

"In these parlous economic times, attitudes like that can have far greater consequences than hurt feelings. If a grandparent cannot or will not baby-sit for a working parent, day care or a nanny may be the only option, and may also be a financial hardship."

Boo hoo.
Last time I checked, people are supposed to make decisions based on what they are able to afford and realistically manage in their own lives.
If you have a parent who is willing to stay home with your children for free after their retirement, consider yourself lucky indeed.

Those post war grandmas are gone forever.

In some cultures, families live together...three generations in one home.
That's not what we're talking about here.

I wonder if these families who are complaining that their parents won't help raise their kids would take care of their parents at home when they're too old to manage independently?
Like some cultures traditionally do.

I'm thinking that if they're having trouble as young parents managing, they won't be very able with an ill, and aging parent.

It's an interesting topic.
I think probably what's irritating to me is the expectation that as a woman, you are never allowed to retire from care-giving without people thinking that you're a selfish bitch for wanting a life of your own.

Grandpa gets to play golf, but Grandma has to babysit grandchildren like it's a full time job...sounds like fair and endless fun retirement times, no?

I would think that by the age of 65, you might have earned some relaxation time.