Wednesday, October 28, 2009

But the pangs of envy still hit very hard from time to time. But I know I'm not alone. I see the signs of envy in my friends' eyes too. A look of deep yearning as they watch their daughters' lithe, bikini-clad bodies on the beach perhaps.

Or a muttered word or two when a daughter borrows a top or dress - and looks a million times better in it.

It doesn't mean love isn't there - but that jealousy is simmering away underneath it.

Read more:

While the article really only covers the physical aspect of mother/daughter jealousy, there is a deeper and more poignant aspect to it.
There is no denying that things are better for younger people with every generation.
My life is better, with more choices than in my mothers' day, and better still now.

It's the life and times, no?

My grandmother spent her youth in a war. Very few choices.
My mother spent her youth on the cusp of the burning of the bra womens liberation movement. Confused and self-limiting choices because of the way that she was raised.

I don't have a daughter, so I am hard pressed to comment on it from a mother's perspective.

One of the taboos of this society is to perceive mothers as anything less than perfect.

Yet they are.

Some, very imperfect.

Mothers who are jealous of their daughters freedom of choice.
Jealous of their perceived successful marriages.
Jealous of their more prosperous lives.

The interesting thing for me is that women never seem to stop competing with one another.

From the stay at home mom who thinks the working mom is selfish.
To the vapid competition of "hotness" the "stealing" of men.

Motherhood doesn't seem to erase that competition.
Although, it's taboo to even think about mothers being anything but selfless.