Monday, July 04, 2005

Oh, For Godsake! Control Yer Kids!!!!

Dear Shitty Parent,

I'm sorry to have to be the one to tell you this...I mean, after all...I'm a total stranger...but....I'll bet cash money that your friends think that your kid is a little wildebeest.
He runs around like a barbarian, grabbing things off of other peoples plates, snatching things out of other childrens hands, wiping his dirty hands on my white walls...
Your little beast is rude to people, and speaks to you like you're a piece of shit.

He tells you you're stupid, and all you do is give him a time out.
He mouths off to everyone who tries to discipline him, because let's face won't...

A couple of times, I've pictured myself beating his ass with a hairbrush.

I have!!

Is that wrong?
I mean...I won't do it.
I've never done it...ohhhh but I've wanted to....

What happened to parents keeping their bollocks and parenting their kids?
I mean, you're the adult ferfucksake!
Why is his 3 year old ass controlling what goes on in your house?
Why are other people forced to deal with your failed parenting?
I don't want to watch your wild child playing air guitar in front of your TV while people are trying to watch something.
I don't want to have to repeat myself six times because your little terror keeps interrupting because he needs to be the center of attention 100% of the time.
I don't want that piece of cake he's put his nasty hands in...

He's not cute.
I don't think that every word that drops out of his mouth is incredibly clever and bright.

I don't think that every word he utters is a fact he's rude and selfish and you've made him that way.
Maybe it isn't him that needs the paddling.

Maybe it's you.


Oh, and don't ask your friends why they never come over anymore. They'll just lie and tell you some bullshit excuse, but really it's because of your little banshee.