Tuesday, January 11, 2005

When The Mister and I announced that we were getting married, one of the things that was important to me was that my uncle approved.
That he and his family would be at our wedding.

Interracial weddings go over like a whore at a church picnic in the Serbian community.
Well, ok…let’s not be rash…no one ever says anything to your face.
They just talk shit about you, and they don’t spend precious yak time on facts.
I was concerned about the kind of effect my personal life choices would have on him, and his family where the community was concerned…but more than anything, I wanted him to accept my future husband, and his two children.

My Uja met The Mister about two weeks before the wedding.
He found out about and met The Misters children at the reception.
"Outrageous", you say to yourself.
When something means so much to you, sometimes you’re paralyzed when faced with dealing with it.

I used to tease my Uja because his wife loves to dance, and Uja says that he has bricks for feet. Through my youth, Uja always promised me that if there was going to be any time that he would dance, he would dance at my wedding.

He did.
The first time I ever saw my Uja dance as with The Misters sister.
The Misters sister is one of the most beautiful and personable people you will ever meet.

When he was introduced to The Misters children, I could see the look of surprise on his face, and I was immediately sorry I hadn’t prepared him.
My oldest stepson, who had heard so many wonderful stories and things about my Uja, upon hearing who he was, spontaneously said, "Uja!!" and threw his arms around Uja’s waist and hugged him with sincerity.
A look of surprise, mixed with a genuine love for children, Uja returned the embrace.
It still moves me with emotion, recalling the scene.
I don’t think my eldest stepson could ever understand, with the innocent gesture of a child, what kind of bridge he had built at that moment, on that day.

From the mouths of babes, indeed.