My 2 Second Shelf Life

"Motherf*cking Lies (Noun) The worst kind of lies, because you're not only lying to the world, you're lying to yourself, sister. "


The one really good thing about not being rich and famous is that you only have your close friends and family up your bum about "what happened" when a relationship ends.

When you're famous, you have to say crap like "I'm really happy for him..." and, "I wish him all the best...", or "We're still good friends...", instead of "Oh, he should just piss off the bloody, selfish, two-faced, chicken, bastard, pig-dog man", or "May his house be shown burning on CNN".