Friday, May 01, 2009

"Writer Ayelet Waldman is a bad mother, at least according to critics who carved her name into the mommy Wall of Shame when she wrote that she loved her husband more than her children."
I was over at Jezebel when I read about Ayelet Waldman.
I had never heard of her before, but she's apparently caught the wrath of UberMoms over her statement that she put her husband, over her children.

I dunno. I've known people who were raised by couples who were so in love and dedicated to each other, that their children felt a little orphaned...because let's face it, kids demand it all.
There's that old adage that says that the best thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.

But, don't even care if you love each other, they just want their parents together. It isn't until much later in life that they consider that divorce might have been better all the way around.

Parenting is frustrating business, and you can't choose your childrens' personalities.
There are plenty of women who prefer one of their kids over another. Women will deny it, but any child with siblings can name off mommy's favourite.

Women have been known to put men (and not even the father of the children in question) before their offspring, even while claiming that they don't, and at the same time scorning women who do. There's nothing women like more than pulling each other down over anything from parenting skills, or lack thereof to fashion.

Is it so bad to admit that you put your marriage and relationship with your life partner before anything else?
Would partners like this be more united, and less split by differing on decisions in order to curry favour with their children, as the "fun" or "better" parent?

I watch kids playing their parents all the time..if there's a crack in the parents' relationship, a kid can work that shit into anything they desire.

Obviously, the argument is that this decision to put a man/relationship over children is often based on unhealthy relationships. Abusive and controlling men, and weak and/or abused women.
Not all relationships that don't mirror our own are dysfunctional...

All relationships tick differently...and how you perceive someone's relationship isn't necessarily the way that it is. That's why that couple you thought were so perfect broke up, and that couple you thought would never make it are still together after 20 years.

The best thing in the end might be not to be so concerned with how others choose to live in their personal relationships and focus on our own.