Marriage #4 Over for Brinkley...

Ok.

At what number to do you admit to yourself...
"I suck at this marriage thing..." and just stop it already?

...and they say that gay marriage is "undermining the definition of traditional marriage"...Gimme a break!

I would have to say that heterosexuals are doing fine job all on their own...

I Laughed 'til I Cried...

This article in Today's Star about the long commute of GTA residents.

Apparently:

"GTA drivers spend 79 minutes daily on commute
It's even longer for transit users, StatsCan finds"

No shit, Sherlock?

Since I started driving, I get twice as far in half the time.
What kills me is that City Hall spends all it's time and money on things like by-laws to protect trees, and rights for cyclists, and art in the downtown core, and traffic calming speed bumps on residential streets where there may be a car every 20 minutes or so...but transit has been ignored.

And this city continues to swell at the seams.
Rather than invest in public transit...Pundits suggest stupid things like a toll to drive downtown, or the extension of the Sheppard line by a couple of stops.

Every time I consider the possibility of maybe taking public transit to get to work, I realize that one days trip to work is a half a tank of gas for me...which lasts me three days driving back and forth in the comfort and clean scent of my own car, in a quarter of the time it would take me by public transit.
I would have to be an idiot to take it, even if gas was 2 bucks a litre, at the rates that TTC and GO charges.
If I chose to use it, I would be helping the environment with no help from the government, to my severe inconvenience. It would take five hours of my life every day for me to help the environment by using the system.
Sorry.
I'm no martyr.

Systems need to be amalgamated, instead of worrying that we're not "world class", and rushing to please the residents of certain neighbourhoods.

All this talk about smog days and concern from City Hall on the environment is bullocks.
If they were so concerned, they'd focus on public transit and make it a priority...and make it affordable.

Yeah, and then I woke up.

In contast to the cute little Korean girls, here's a black guy from Brooklyn singing (I don't think it's really him singing) the famous Serbian anti-war song "Mesecina" by the revered Goran Bregovic.

A couple of little Korean girls singing to Tito in Serbo-Croatian in 1978.
They are both cute enough to squeeze.

Really hard.

Sunday Click Around

Yesterday, I found this interesting blog called Photographerno.
The author is someone who appears to be not only a amateur photographer, but someone who works in the Bollywood Fashion industry.
He has some sort of goal of 1000 blog entries in a certain span of time. He did a whole section on Eunuchs in Mumbai which is a subject I have always found fascinating.
Ever since I read Alev Lytle Croutier's book, Harem: The World Behind the Veil a very long time ago. It focused a lot on the Topkapi Palace and Harem in Turkey, and invited me to look into the art of Ingres. Eunuchs have an incredibly interesting history, and served an important purpose to Eastern Royalty. Keepers of the Royal Familys most prized possessions, and the handling of money, and were often very skilled in the use of a saber or blade.
It's a really captivating topic, and I thank Photographerno for taking me there again.

While I was looking for info to post on Eunuchs, I ran across Bollywood Vintage Movie Posters - Pre 1960 which has some great painted posters.

Life Magazine's cover search is worth a look, as well as The Life Photo Gallery.
But since Sophia Loren was my chosen Life cover, here's some news.
Sophia is going to pose nude as a Pirelli Pin Up at the age of 71.
Interesting, no?
I have to admit though, Sophia is fabulous.
She's gorgeous at 71.
Here is Fabulous Over 50 for a look at other people who have crossed that bridge and still look great.
Do you sing along to TV themes like a savant?
I do.
That's why I spent a long time on this site. I sang along with themes that I could not remember by just looking at the picture that accompanied the mpg file. But the minute the music started, I knew the lyrics from beginning to end.
Interested in pop culture collectibles?
This place has a tonne of crap from shit you've completely forgotten about.



I can't remember how I came across Little Oogie's, but he's got a gallery containing pictures of David Bowie from the 1960's to now. Which prompted me to have a look around at Photographers who specialized in Musicians. Redferns has a great collection of photos.

Ok kids...I think that's all...

Winners Stock Girls Hate Their Customers.

I am not a shopper.
I don't enjoy browsing.
I usually have a good idea of what I'm looking for, and I try to get in and out as quickly as possible.
Don't get me wrong...I love clothes, and shoes/boots...I just don't have the patience to walk around shops aimlessly touching fabrics, comparing belts and dealing with the fitting room experience. One of the places I shop is Winners, for a couple of reasons...their clothing is easy to find. All skirts in one section, all jackets in another, all shoes minus a person who has to disappear for 10 minutes to get them. There used to be a great store called Labels here, that I absolutely loved...they not only organized things by section, but by colour and casual/business...which saved me time. Too bad they went under.

Anyhow, It doesn't matter which Winners I go to, the stock girls like to put their anti-theft devices in absurd places.
I imagine them all in the back of the store, bracelets tinkling, gum snapping, encouraging each other: "Ok Skyler, that's a bra...put that big ass anti theft device right next to the hooks, so the bitch can't do it up if she wants to try it on..." and "Oh..pants? Ok Kaitlyn,...stick the plastic thing right by the crotch at the zipper hahhahahah..." then they laugh and laugh, and go to Tim Hortons for coffee, to discuss uncomfortable places they can stick that shit, and then come back and do it.

Yesterday, I was looking for some sandals with a backstrap, and a dress with a salmon colour.


Regarder attentivement

It doesn't matter which outlet I go to, it's the same.
I think they have district meetings about it.
I've mentioned it to the women behind the counter, and they nod...but I think that they secretly give out Employee of the Month to the staff who can stick this thing in most innovatively uncomfortable place on the garment or shoe.

But, I'll put up with it, because if there's anything I hate more, it's being ripped off...and I'm not getting a pair of Steve Madden sandals for $29.99, or a Donna Karan jacket for 99 bucks anywhere else.

I hate shopping.

" They all denied any involvement"

Back in November when these boys denied assaulting this young woman, I posted my personal experience with sexual assault at school.
I applauded this girl for having the courage to come forward, regardless of the firestorm she would create.

This story kept coming back to race, which obscured the real issue, which is sexual assault in schools. Young girls have fought this off for decades, often too ashamed of being called a "slut" to come forward and tell an adult that they were "felt up" in a corridor, or dragged into the boys washroom and mauled.

When I was in school, I knew one young Asian girl who told friends that she was raped by a boy, but never went to an adult or her parents to say anything.
That boy was never investigated or punished.
Do I think that my experience and this girls experience were unique?

I do not.

And now, in this society and culture, which glamourizes sluttiness, with videos both on TV and on the internet showing young women allowing young men to slap their asses to the beat, while they shake their barely covered tits and bootys...puts excess pressure on young girls who attend school.
Catholic School is no stranger to the hiked up kilt fantasy that many guys have.

I think that middle schools and high schools must address this issue in a big way, and I hope that this debacle kick starts some awareness to a problem that has been secretly slithering through the halls of schools for decades.

I must say though that I am impressed with the two boys who were man enough to admit to doing something unacceptable, and being adult enough to do the right thing by taking their lumps.
Now, I know that there are people who don't want to believe that it's possible that they are guilty. And I expect that there will be continued accusations that these boys were forced to confess.
And that's a shame.
A shame to deny that this problem even exists, and that all teenage boys are misunderstood, angelic little beings.
Denying that there are aggressive hormonal boys of all cultures and races, who need to be shown that they can't get away with it.

Does Every Neighbourhood Have One?

There is a house in our neighbourhood that has changed hands four times in the past decade.
It's a corner house with the backyard exposed to the turn of the street, with a mere chain link fence between the yard and a relatively busy street.

When we moved onto our street, the house was up for sale..The first owners we witnessed weren't into maintaining the lawn, or garden, or veranda, or driveway and it was just a big gigantic festering sore of a house, right on the corner.

The second owners cleaned it up.
Fixed up the front, maintained the lawn and garden...planted rose bushes along the chain link fence and took pride in it. And the house seemed to breathe with new life.
It's a nice house, that only needed a little care to be pretty.

I once stopped my car as I was turning the corner and saw the owners in front washing their driveway. I told them what a great job they did with their house.
I just had to tell them.

The third owners had what looked like a twenty people living in the house, and no one mowed the lawn anymore, and the veranda was piled with crap. The driveway housed three cars, one always parked sideways in the little area between the sidewalk and the road.
The rose bushes died, and when I drove by I'd roll my eyes with disgust that so many people could live in a house and do fuck all to maintain it.

It was put up for sale and took forever to sell...if it did at all.

About a month ago, I noticed that new people were living there...but they were scary looking.
Thuggy looking guys hangin' in the driveway, 'hoes on the porch with their hair pulled up in tight pony tails in a "council flat facelift" style, drinkin' beer.
The other day I was in the local convenience store, and encountered one of the hoes with three kids buying smokes. The kids looked rough...you know when kids look tough, even though they're little. They looked unkempt. They were whining for candy, and she was telling them to "shut up" and "Cum' on" in a pugnacious tone.
Now that it's warm out, the residents have their garbage cans perpetually out on the driveway, there are always different hoes and thugs hangin' out on the porch.
Frankly, I really can't tell who lives there. The backyard, now visible to the road again, now that there are no more rose bushes, always has lines of laundry swinging in the breeze, and sometimes hanging over the fence.
The lawn is left unmowed...which bugs The Mister (The Lawn Nazi) no end.
It's so odd, because the other houses around it are well maintained, and this one is just horrible.

I've nicknamed it "The Grow-Op" and The Mister consoles me by telling me that they'll probably be gone soon...

I can only hope, because it really bothers me to look at it, and it's inhabitants.

When did I become Gladys Kravitz?

Sunday Click Around

Keith's Postcard Collection is really cool. I love postcards. Especially old ones. I really should buy more of them when we go places. I really should.
Since it's Canada Day weekend, You know you're Canadian when... and Imagecity by Dan McGarry.
Whom I assume is Canadian, judging by the number of pictures of things Ottawa.
There's no bio, so I can't be certain.

Toronto NightLIfe is all things Toronto...because let's face it...we're Canada's bellybutton.
Well, at least we're Canada's biggest navelgazers...next to Montreal.
Toronto ranks as 3rd Politest city in the world., much to the disagreement of the rest of Canada. :P
Canada Kicks Ass has a a jokes section that is worth checking out.

In honour of all the road tripping that The Mister and I do, driving through small towns in Ontario, and Quebec and border states...


Neatorama found this cool site showing us A Day in the Life of The Soviet Union in photographs.

Here's the The AOLer Translator...mind you, I think this could work for all blogs by the 12 to 16ers too.
The Cemetery Collection is well...a collection of photographs of tombstones and sculpture in Russian cemeteries.
You know, the best cemeteries are in countries with long histories. The sculpure is often very beautiful.

Ok, kids...I'm off to make strawberry tarts with the stawberries we bought yesterday.

Why?

The Mister and I were taking a little drive tonight after work, so that I could mystery shop a restaurant.
While we were in the car, I was talking about someone who told me that they turned down an interview for a possibly better position because they felt "ok," where they were.
I marvelled at why they wouldn't just go to see what the other job would offer.
Go for the interview experience and practice.
I don't understand it.
The Mister and I had the following exchange:

"It's none of my business"
"That's right"
"Why does it bug me that she won't even go to see what's being offered"
"let it go"
"It bugs me"
"let it go"
"But it might be a better opportunity, and she's young...and this is the time to take chances to better yourself"
"If she doesn't care if she gets ahead, why should you?"
"It bugs me"
"let it go"
"Arghhh"
"Don't be a Babetina"

Hahahahahah!
(A "Babetina" is a meddler in Serbian/Croatian/Bosnian)

It's amazing that if you asked me to recite the lyrics of any of his songs, I wouldn't be able to get past the chorus...but put a tune on and I sing along like a savant.
Mama was in love with him....and Engelbert.
I grew up on them.

Regent Park is going.

Phase One of the "re-development" of Toronto's historic, first "Housing Project" Regent Park has started.
I knew that it was only a matter of time before Cabbagetown became trendy and affluent enough to outweigh the low income residents.

Regent Park takes up prime real estate in downtown Toronto.
Real Estate in an area that many middle income people cannot afford to live in.
Phase One tears down 418 units, on 6 streets. Toronto Community Housing is moving ahead to begin Phase I of the redevelopment. Revitalization of the 70-acre community will take place in six phases over 15 years.

Even though it's clear that the developers are jumping through hoops to re-locate residents, and making promises that the new development will be affordable housing...I have to wonder.

Regent Park has a long history of problems. Coined Toronto's first "slum", and just has a bad reputation in general that has been fought by residents for a long time. Phase One has started, but the reputation of Regent Park continues.

I honestly do wonder whether residents who have been relocated will return in 15 years...or whether the City will be allowed by then to make the units more lucrative.
Being the cynic that I am, when I read that the new units will be offered to the old tenants in 15 years, it brought a smirk to my lips.
How many of them will move back, do you think?

Either way, the demolition of Regent Park will most certainly raise the property value of the area pretty quickly. Once they've razed all the buildings, the dealers and gang members will relocate too. It was only a matter of time....next...St Jamestown....

Photo from: Sean Purdy: "Ripped Off" by the system

On another topic...

Kevin Wallace, Producer of the theatre production of The Lord of The Rings has been whinging (that's the sensible British term for incessant whining) since yesterday about the closing of the 28 million dollar production in Toronto, saying that we (Torontonians) just did't "get it".
That the production has "a distinctively British sensibility that North American critics did not appreciate."
Firstly, if Torontonians are anything, they're pretentious about

#1: Their intelligence,
#2: Their ability to "get" things.

...and then Mayor David Miller agreed, saying the critics were simply "wrong in their assessment".
See what I mean?
As soon as a British Producer suggests that we're not intelligent enough to understand a British sensibility...the Mayor has a big conniption on the critics.

While we're here...wtf is it with The Mayor and his opinion on everything?
Almost every stupid little thing has to have his stamp on it...why is he such a yenta, with his nose in everything?
Doesn't he have a job to do?

So, Mr. Wallace says that they're going to change the production for their opening in London.
WTF?
That's not London, Ontario, folks....that's London, England.
So, what's wrong with having a "Britsh sensibility" in Britain?
I'm sure they'd "get it" there.

Besides, isn't the whole "Lord of the Rings" thing based on English mythology?
Wasn't that the whole lure of the Tolkien series?
How can it not have a British Sensibility?
How about this...
... perhaps the demographic that went to see the movie can't afford $160 a ticket?

How's that for sensibility?

WahWahWah...

Hainsworth.com linked to this article from The Discovery Channel on immaturity of todays adults.
It appears that we're not evolving, but regressing.

"When formal education continues into the early twenties," he continued, "it probably, to an extent, counteracts the attainment of psychological maturity, which would otherwise occur at about this age.”

Especially when you combine this with staying home with your parents while you complete your education. I'm also noting the phenomenon of staying home until you save up to buy your own home or just staying until you inherit your parents home.
The lack of struggle, and challenge of getting things for yourself, and having to cope with difficulty I believe has softened people.
Tolerance levels are not as high as they are with older individuals, and flexibility is expected by many individuals without the ability to understand that flexibility doesn't just mean "give me what I want and need"...it also means, "I may have to put myself out every once in a while to accommodate someone else".
Just like the concept of "fair" is relative, so is the concept of "flexibility".

I'm noticing a lack of ability to "just shut up and do your job"...and a lot of "OMG! I'm having such a hard time with blahblah blah blehblah...you HAVE to consider ME over what I'm paid to do".
Now, I'm not saying that employees shouldn't be considered...but as a Boss, I'm not your mom either.

In the past, I've had parents of grown ups (people in their 20's) call me to complain about the policies and requirements of their kids jobs.

It's no wonder that:

"“immature” people tend to thrive and succeed, and have set the tone not only for contemporary life, but also for the future, when it is possible our genes may even change as a result of the psychological shift.

The faults of youth are retained along with the virtues, he believes. These include short attention span, sensation and novelty-seeking, short cycles of arbitrary fashion and a sense of cultural shallowness."

Yup, combined with a standard of living that allows us the luxury.

"Hollaback Girl" Indian Style

Celebrity Chav-O-Rama

I will never understand why people who have so much, take such stupid risks.

To try to smuggle drugs in the Arab world is just fucking crackbrained.
I mean, didn't Dallas Austin ever watch Midnight Express?

Now he's going to be gone, and his famous friends won't even spill a drop of Cristal over it.
The party goes on, while he's a prison bitch in Dubai...which is probably more intense than tossingasalat in Rikers Island.

More money than sense...what a waste.

Niagara Falls: Mecca
of
The Mediterranean & South Slavs

Yesterday I was at a meeting, and two of the people there were Greek.

They were talking about family members coming over from "back home" over the summer and both announced that there were special trips planned for Niagara Falls.

When I was a little girl, every time someone came to visit...whether it was from the Former YU, or from the states...we'd all pile into the car and drive to "Nee-ah-gaaara False".
We'd all have pictures taken at the iron railing, right in front of the Horseshoe Falls, and then lunch at the Skyline was an absolute MUST.

I thought that it might be strictly a Yugo thing, but it appears to be an all around Balkan/Med thing.
It's such a thing, that it's even snuck into old cheezy movies from the Former YU, like this one to your right. Always the Horseshoe Falls, because let's face it...it's prettier.

Don't give me that...
"Oh, it's because it's one of the Wonders of the World" crap.

If that is the case, why do I still feel the pull of "Nee-a-gaara" every so often?
There are times when I get the "Let's drive to the Falls" bug.

Lucky thing The Mister likes road trips.
Even when we drive to Buffalo, I always ask The Mister to at least drive past the Falls.

Shucks.
We even got married there.

Serbian Wedding

I get a lot of hits for Serbian Weddings.

Luckily, American for Hire has documented one for you.

Check out Part 1: The Grooms House and then check out Part 2: The Brides House.

Now I don't have to feel bad anymore.

Photo: Kulcha Calendar

Memory is an amazing thing.

We have isolated little vignettes of memory.
Scraping little stores of experiences.

Sitting at the top of the stairs of our old flat on Dunn Avenue, waiting for my father to come home.

Walking at night with my cousin George, along Vojvodjanska in Petrovo Selo. No streetlights and listening to the frogs croaking. Dodging them as they jumped across the cobblestones.

The dim light, tipsy men singing "Tamo Daleko", and laughter on a summer night under the grapevines in my grandparents garden. The clinking of glasses, and the squeeking of the iron kapija opening and closing.

My Grandfathers kissing sound to the horses to get them to go.

My Mother washing chocolate off of my hands at an old sink in an apartment I don't even remember.

A light kiss on the head while he thought I was sleeping from Uja when I was already 23, and babysitting my cousins while he and Tetka Ljuba went to a wedding.

Driving through the mountains of Sarajevo in the winter, with no guardrails at night.

My Uncle Velemir telling me never to kiss anyone on the lips.

Waking up in the middle of the night crying and my cousin George entertaining me with funny faces and little plastic Indian dolls until I fell asleep again.

Me looking down the stairs at the The Mister with a bouquet of flowers standing in the front foyer.

My Stepsons in their bright red jackets, laughing and flying kites they made with their Dad down by the lake.

Memories that don't add up to anything in particular, but add up to everything at the same time.


Image: found here

Todays Petty Pet Peeve

You know what I hate?
I hate people who don't think efficiently.

"Yes, Radmila..." you say, "but you're an anal-borderline-obssessive-compulsive".

This may be true, but think about how much better the world would function if people thought like I do.

Well, for me anyway.

This morning I was driving The Stepson home on my way to work, and I stopped for gas.
At the gas station there is a little Tim Hortons Kiosk.

I thought, "I'll get The Son a hot chocolate to drink on the way"

There was no one in line at Timmy's while I was paying for gas, but like in that old Warner Bros. cartoon..you know the one where the guy goes into the bank and there's no one there, until he goes to step into line and suddenly 100 people jump ahead of him?

So, it was like that, but there were only 3 people.
I wait, and then the guy in front of me gets up to the cashier and I hear him start ordering.
But then, I realize that he's not stopping.
The list just kept going...everytime I thought he was going to stop, he'd add another thing..."Oh, and a sesame bagel, no butter....oh, and 20 timbits...oh, and...."

WTF?
It's a GAS STATION!
If you're going to order breakfast for the whole staff of General Motors, go to an actual Tim Hortons Restaurant, not the GAS STATION KIOSK where people want to grab a coffee and get on the road to work.

The same thing goes for lottery tickets.
Because of the gas station lottery ticket phenomenon, I no longer use debit at the gas station, always cash.
That's so that I can throw my cash on the counter and walk out, and bypass the lottery ticket freak with $100 worth of 649 tickets he/she has to check, and then his/her purchase of another $100 worth, plus deciding what he/she's going to do with any winnings.
Invest again? Quick pick? Play encore?
All this while the line to PAY for GAS at a GAS STATION...snakes out behind them.

Ok.
I'm done now.
Thanks for listening.
You're my best friend.

Sunday Click Around

Happy Father's Day!
Send your Dad a virtual card at Yankee Postcards.com.
While we're on the topic of Dads on Father's Day, Menstuff® has compiled stories and poems on the issue of fathers.

For those of you who need a boost in self-esteem, The Advertising Slogan Generator can sell you on yourself. I'm not sure what else you could use it for.

Word Up is...well, I'm not really sure what the point is, but you can type in anything you want..and it appears to be passed on. If you click on the arrows in the upper right corner, you can move backwards or forward to read what others have written.

e-admit is another online confessional site. I still marvel at what people are capable of doing to themselves and each other. Online confessionals confirm that people suck. This one differs in that you can actually comment on the confession. An opportunity to get your judgement on. Believe me, some of these people need it with both barrels.


Pictures of Walls entertained me for quite a while. Sometimes graffiti can be profound, just stupid or other times hilarious.
This picture of an altered stop sign made me laugh out loud.

Do you have a paranormal entity following you around harassing you?
For just 5 bucks, you can get a Paranormal Restraining Order.
Never fear God, Satan, The Grim Reaper or Aliens ever again.
Except, well...we know how effective restraining orders really are...by the time the authorities get there, it's usually too late.

Remember how the phrase "Dooced" got coined?
Many bloggers legitimately fear getting fired for blogging about their jobs...
...well, Red Lobster Hates it's Employees obviously has no fear of this.
Mind you, if you get fired from Red Lobster, who cares?
What I would care about is a lawsuit.
But, I'd be impressed if the Head Lobsters had a sense of humour about it.
Frankly, there are better seafood restaurants to go to, if you want my opinion, and I'm sure you do.

That's all for now...Have a great day if you're a good Dad...
...if you're not, up yours you irresponsible bastard.