Saturday, May 06, 2006

Let's Get Ready to Rumble!

I hate sports.
I'm a chicky chick when it comes to sports...
...but I loves me some boxing.

The Mister just shakes his head in confusion.
I love boxing for a bunch of reasons, and it isn't all about the actual fight.

Here's the list of some of things I love:

  • ~The whole spectacle of it. In reality, someone could die, or get seriously hurt.
  • ~The payout is called a "purse"
  • ~The corner trashtalk. I LOVE this, when it's in English. I love how the mooks in both corners will tell their guy that his opponent is a "fuckin' loozaa" or "you're killinim' ". This is especially effective when both eyes of their charge are swollen shut.
  • ~Characters like Macho Camacho or Prince Naseem Hamed. You have to admire guys who can fight in getups more complicated than a drag queens evening gown.
  • ~Sometimes the referee gives a wink and a sexy look before he starts the fight.
  • ~There is always the possibility of a riot breaking out in the ring.
  • ~I revel in Lennox Lewis getting his ass kicked.
  • ~The post fight interviews. No. Seriously. Sometimes it's like listening to Oswald Bates (Damon Wayans eloquent prison inmate whose vocabulary was full of incorrectly used clinical terms on In Living Colour)
  • ~Larry Merchant always sounds like he's toasted before they get to the main event, and trashed by the time he does the post fight interview in the ring.
  • ~When Mills Lane was still around: "LET'S GET IT OWWWWN!" (I miss Mills Lane).
  • ~One name: Mike Tyson. Laugh? I thought I'd die, everytime he was interviewed.
  • ~Buff bods. Need I say more?

That's all for now kids...