Wednesday, January 22, 2003

Charity? or Begging?

I have a pet peeve to pick today.

Ok so, I am not a selfish person and I donate both my time and money to worthy causes.
However, am I the only one who would like to make this decision on my own without being harangued by a Cashier or by some person standing at the exit of a store like a Union Picketer?

This really irritates me.
What ever happened to the donation box by the cash register?
Why is the Cashier obligated to ask me, "Would you like to donate to (large company's pet charity) today?".
"No, would (Large Company) like to donate on my behalf?"

It's not enough that there are sometimes two or three people stationed at the exits of large stores soliciting donations, but I have to dodge those kids stalking me in any mall parking lot to buy their chocolates!

This is the truth.
One Saturday afternoon, I counted 12 different people that approached me for a donation as I ran my errands.
I saw one kid twice!
I said to him..."Didn't I see you in front of Scotiabank two hours ago?"
He got this constipated look on his face and said, "no".
I know it was the same kid.

It's enough already.

Fully one third of my income goes to Federal taxes straight off of my paycheque.
A lot of this money is filtered into special interest groups and programs that I wouldn't support, but hey, who's asking me?
Then, everything I buy has PST and GST which equals 15% tax.
Don't forget that I live in Canada...
that means, social programs galore, dontcha know.

If I want to donate, I'll put my money in that little box by the cash register or send it to MY favourite charity and get a tax receipt.

Stop nickel and diming me every time I run some errands!

Maybe I should start my own charity like this or this.

Sunday, January 19, 2003

Friday 2:50pm

The phone rings at work and I answer it, seeing the call display number, but still ignoring the phychological shield.

It's my mother

I have people in my office, but I answer anyway.
Speaking in Serbian...but I'll do the accent, like they do in the movies when someone is really speaking another language:

Mom: "Sine (child), vat ar yu doink?"

Me: "I'm working, Ma"

Mom: "Lissen, I call to tell yu dat Dragica nos about a Doctor dat cud help yu to hev a baby".


Me: "Thank you, Ma, but I'm done. My stepchildren are just now old enough that we don't have to deal with all the "little child" stuff. I can't start all over now.

Mom: "I vant to be a grandma".

Me: "I'm sorry, Ma. I just can't imagine starting from the beginning now. I'm tired".

Mom: "Bat, tis Doctor maybe kud help yu...he's Chinese Doctor. He fixing tings mit da hurbs. Dragica say he's very goot"

Me: "Ma, I'm at work."

Mom: "I no. I just tellink yu"

Me: "Thanks Ma, I'll call you later"

Mom: "I vant to be a Grandma"

Me: "I know, Ma".


Gimme a fucking break.

Friday, January 03, 2003

Why Serbians Can't Be Terrorists

Branka over at Lachesis put me in mind of this joke someone sent to me a couple of months ago.

Branka's Serbian version of "T'was The Night Before Christmas", was lifted from one of my own regular haunts The Serbian Cafe.

For those of you even remotely interested, there is an English discussion board called: Speaker's Corner

Anyhow, she put me in mind of the following joke:
"Why Serbians Could Never Be Terrorists"

10. 8:45am is too early for us to be up.

9. We could never co-ordinate all the flights, there would be an argument
about who goes first, who thought of the idea and the reasoning behind it.
In the end no one would do anything because none of the "terrorists" would
be on speaking terms with the others.

8. Good-looking women on the plane distract us.

7. We would talk loudly and bring attention to ourselves.

6. If there were free food and drinks were on the plane, we'd postpone the plan.

5. We talk with our hands, we would have put our weapons down.

4. We would all want to fly the plane.

3. We would argue and start a fight in the plane.

2. We would have put the Serbian flag on the windshield.

1. We would have bragged to everyone a week before doing it.