Combine this and so many other things that the media gives young women to aspire to...and the growing number of women who grew up in a fatherless household...is it any wonder that so many women make poor choices?

20 things girls learn from twilight

1. If a boy is aloof, stand-offish, ignores you or is just plain rude, it is because he is secretly in love with you — and you are the point of his existence.

2.Secrets are good — especially life-threatening ones.

3. It’s OK for a potential romantic interest to be dimwitted, violent and vengeful — as long as he has great abs.

4. If a boy tells you to stay away from him because he is dangerous and may even kill you, he must be the love of your life. You should stay with him since he will keep you safe forever.

5. If a boy leaves you, especially suddenly (while telling you he will never see you again), it is because he loves you so much he will suffer just to keep you safe.

6. When a boy leaves you, going into shock, losing all your friends and enduring night terrors are completely acceptable occurrences — as long as you keep your grades up.

7. It is extremely romantic to put yourself in dangerous situations in order to see your ex-boyfriend again. It’s even more romantic to remember the sound of his voice when he yelled at you.

8. Boys who leave you always come back.

9. Because they come back, you should hold out, waiting for them for months, even when completely acceptable and less-abusive alternative males present themselves.

10. Even though you have no intention of dating an alternative male who expresses interest in you, it is fine to string the young man along for months. Also, you should use him to fix things for you. Maybe he’ll even buy you something.

11. You should use said male to fix things because girls are incapable of anything mechanical or technical.

12. Lying to your parents is fine. Lying to your parents while you run away to save your suicidal boyfriend is an extremely good idea that shows your strength and maturity. Also, it is what you must do.

13. Car theft in the service of love is acceptable.

14. If the boy you are in love with causes you (even indirectly) to be so badly beaten you end up in the hospital, you should tell the doctors and your family that you “fell down the steps” because you are such a silly, clumsy girl. That false explanation always works well for abused women.

15. Men can be changed for the better if you sacrifice everything you are and devote yourself to their need for change.

16. Young women should make no effort to improve their social skills or emotional state. Instead, they should seek out potential mates that share their morose deficiencies and emotional illnesses.

17. Girls shouldn’t always read a book series just because everyone else has.

18. When writing a book series, it’s acceptable to lift seminal source material and bastardize it \with tired, overwrought teenage angst.

19. When making or watching a major feature film, you should gleefully embrace the 20 minutes of plot it provides in between extended segments of vacant-eyed silence and self-indulgent, moaning banter.

20.Vampires — once among the great villains of literature and motion pictures — are no longer scary. In fact, they’re every bit as whiny, self-absorbed and impotent as any human being.

(stolen from Lyrical Lies)

Move to unionize by employees of a Quebec outlet could not avail themselves of protections under the labour code



Hey, I'm no Wal-Mart fan...but, how would you like to invest in a private business and then have a union come in and tell you how to run it?

via bits & pieces

I hate daylight savings time.
I don't see the point.
If we're going to deal with an hour of extra darkness, wouldn't it be preferable at the beginning of the day?
Falling back in the winter just makes it feel so much longer.

But the pangs of envy still hit very hard from time to time. But I know I'm not alone. I see the signs of envy in my friends' eyes too. A look of deep yearning as they watch their daughters' lithe, bikini-clad bodies on the beach perhaps.

Or a muttered word or two when a daughter borrows a top or dress - and looks a million times better in it.

It doesn't mean love isn't there - but that jealousy is simmering away underneath it.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1222341/I-used-turned-mens-heads-teenage-daughter--makes-SO-jealous.html#ixzz0VHTVVnKL

While the article really only covers the physical aspect of mother/daughter jealousy, there is a deeper and more poignant aspect to it.
There is no denying that things are better for younger people with every generation.
My life is better, with more choices than in my mothers' day, and better still now.

It's the life and times, no?

My grandmother spent her youth in a war. Very few choices.
My mother spent her youth on the cusp of the burning of the bra womens liberation movement. Confused and self-limiting choices because of the way that she was raised.

I don't have a daughter, so I am hard pressed to comment on it from a mother's perspective.

One of the taboos of this society is to perceive mothers as anything less than perfect.

Yet they are.

Some, very imperfect.

Mothers who are jealous of their daughters freedom of choice.
Jealous of their perceived successful marriages.
Jealous of their more prosperous lives.

The interesting thing for me is that women never seem to stop competing with one another.

From the stay at home mom who thinks the working mom is selfish.
To the vapid competition of "hotness"...to the "stealing" of men.

Motherhood doesn't seem to erase that competition.
Although, it's taboo to even think about mothers being anything but selfless.

The last of these features is important with respect to unconditional parenting itself. Most of us would protest that of course we love our children without any strings attached. But what counts is how things look from the perspective of the children — whether they feel just as loved when they mess up or fall short.

I don't believe in unconditional love.
It's a crock.

...as I've said before...but, people still want to believe in it, and often fling the term around rather cavalierly.

...and as for "the perspective of children", that's a hit and miss prospect.
Some personalities are bottomless pits of need, and some are independent souls who need little "boosting". People are complex, and what you say and do as a parent is only part of it.

I love these articles that sound like; "all you need is love" to make a decent person.
I've seen some over-loved little miscreants in my time.
You need more than love, according to my observations.

Wiki says:

The Garden is a 2008 documentary film directed by Scott Hamilton Kennedy. It tells the story of the now demolished South Central Farm; a community garden and urban farm located in Los Angeles, California. The Garden details the plight of the farmers who organized and worked on the farm only to see it sold to a private contractor and threatened with demolition. The film was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Documentary Feature on 22 January 2009.

The Garden includes interviews with Danny Glover, Daryl Hannah, and Antonio Villaraigosa. It is due for a limited theatrical release on 24 April 2009. It was released on DVD on August 18, 2009.

While reading various articles on this subject, there are conflicting facts being reported. Some say that Horowitz owned the land from the mid 1980's and this crapstorm started when he sold it, and other reports say that the city of L.A. owned it and sold it to Horowitz and then he tried to get rid of them viewing them as "squatters".

If Horowitz didn't own it, why would the City of Los Angeles sell land that is helping an entire community.

If Horowitz did own it, why should he give it away to squatters?

I'm confused.

(I haven't seen the film. But, from the trailer, it looks like it's got a slant.)

Every time I see something like this, I think about how much is wasted for amusement or "art".

When I read that some community has made the biggest pancake or the biggest muffin, and they list 750 eggs, 23 gallons of milk, and so on...all I can think about is the people in those communities who could have used those eggs and milk and flour...and not for amusement, for food.

It's just one of those things that makes me suck my teeth.

"Type "labiaplasty," "vaginoplasty" or any of nearly a dozen female genital cosmetic surgeries into any search engine, and a flurry of doctors' Web sites will pop up touting the self-esteem, sexual enhancement, comfort and fashion benefits of female genital cosmetic surgery."

Well, of course once I read the article, I absolutely had to google labiaplasty(NSFW!! NSFW!!)...(my experience with noting differences in labias is severely limited).

I assumed that the women who were having this procedure done had grotesquely deformed or misshapen labias, labias that are mini penises in size. I pictured embarrassing bulges that had to be rolled up and uncomfortably tucked...I mean, how often are you showing your labia that you would have go under the knife to "make it pretty"?

What is "pretty" in terms of labian anyway?

Didn't many an painter pay homage to the labia? Hiding it's image in flowers and leaves, linens and backgrounds?

Well, from the pictures I saw...let's just say that the "after" photos are nothing like Georgia O'Keefe paintings.

Am I missing something?

Is this something that is worth going under the knife for if you're not a porn star or stripper?
...or even if you are.

...Wow, how much are women learning to hate every natural thing about themselves?

Enlighten me.

"It's a hot summer afternoon outside Toronto's City Hall and amid the throng of picketing unionized city workers, a dark-haired young woman with a strike sign hanging from her neck is as worried about her wallet as her job."

How many weeks of walking the picket line does it take before you've lost in income what you fought to keep in the contract, and end up behind in the game with less than you started?

In my dreams this will happen...

found at B3ta

...am I the only one whose nightmares don't consist of monsters and psychotic killers chasing me...but they're full of real life situations that ruin my life.

I hate that.

"Writer Ayelet Waldman is a bad mother, at least according to critics who carved her name into the mommy Wall of Shame when she wrote that she loved her husband more than her children."

I was over at Jezebel when I read about Ayelet Waldman.
I had never heard of her before, but she's apparently caught the wrath of UberMoms over her statement that she put her husband, over her children.

I dunno. I've known people who were raised by couples who were so in love and dedicated to each other, that their children felt a little orphaned...because let's face it, kids demand it all.
There's that old adage that says that the best thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.

But, really...kids don't even care if you love each other, they just want their parents together. It isn't until much later in life that they consider that divorce might have been better all the way around.

Parenting is frustrating business, and you can't choose your childrens' personalities.
There are plenty of women who prefer one of their kids over another. Women will deny it, but any child with siblings can name off mommy's favourite.

Women have been known to put men (and not even the father of the children in question) before their offspring, even while claiming that they don't, and at the same time scorning women who do. There's nothing women like more than pulling each other down over anything from parenting skills, or lack thereof to fashion.

Is it so bad to admit that you put your marriage and relationship with your life partner before anything else?
Would partners like this be more united, and less split by differing on decisions in order to curry favour with their children, as the "fun" or "better" parent?

I watch kids playing their parents all the time..if there's a crack in the parents' relationship, a kid can work that shit into anything they desire.

Obviously, the argument is that this decision to put a man/relationship over children is often based on unhealthy relationships. Abusive and controlling men, and weak and/or abused women.
Not all relationships that don't mirror our own are dysfunctional...

All relationships tick differently...and how you perceive someone's relationship isn't necessarily the way that it is. That's why that couple you thought were so perfect broke up, and that couple you thought would never make it are still together after 20 years.

The best thing in the end might be not to be so concerned with how others choose to live in their personal relationships and focus on our own.

I'm not naming names, or pointing fingers...

But, I've noticed a new phenomenon in the past 8 years or so (since Holly) in this city that is disturbing to me.

High profile media covered tragedies that involve children, and the eventual expectation of donations from the general public.

Why does this bother me so?

Vegetarianism is a cry for help. A sadly transparent attempt to exercise control over your body, which you feel the need to do for psychological reasons of which you are probably unaware. It's why so many vegetarians have tattoos and exotic piercings (you know it's true). It's why anarchists, squatters, G20 protesters and art students are usually vegetarians. Frustrated that they cannot, and never will, control the world, or anything else of any significance, they starve themselves and carve holes in their bodies.

You know, at first I thought this article was funny, and a little outrageous.
But, while Giles Coren is a bit ridiculous in some of his comments, when I googled "vegetarians have an eating disorder", it's not such a crazy idea.

It actually explains some people I know.
Not to say all vegetarians....but, you've got to admit that it's a great cover for an eating disorder.

Off Limits Humour

Off-limits:

Women
Homosexuals
Transgendered
Minorities
Illegal immigrants
Poor people
Mentally [disabled] people
Overweight people
Vegetarians

Fair Game:

George W. Bush
Christians
Evangelicals
Republicans
Conservative bloggers
Conservative pundits
Rich people
Stupid people
People who...
live in the South
live in red states
drive trucks
fly American flags
have "Support Our Troops" stickers
Joe Lieberman

…Is this simply a case of applying a double standard to groups that we consider oppressed versus groups that we consider to be misguided? If you look at the other side of the blogosphere the columns are reversed. Is either side on higher ground?

Depends on who is telling the joke, and the context in which it is told.

The list above is subjective.
Why are vegetarians more off limits than...say...people who fly American flags? (wtf?)
Because the commenter thinks that vegetarians are morally superior to patriots?

As far as I can tell, humour comes from a very dark place.
It's a coping mechanism.
What's funny to you, may not be funny to me, and vice versa.
Our life experiences shape our sense of humour...or robs us of one.

No one can tell anyone what is, or is not funny....or what's "off limits".

Why I'm Alone by Lea Lane

I'm alone because life doesn't always wind up the way you expect it to, and it wound up this way for me, and I roll with it.

Truth be told:
If something were ever to happen. I don't think I'd look for love again.
Nothing could compete with what I've been lucky enough to have.

"Try interviewing girls at Hunter, Stuyvesant, or the Bronx High School of Science and see how they feel about Chris Borwn/Rihanna -- I'm sure you'll get completely different answers. Poverty and education has everything to do with how young women see domestic violence. It's not a "teenage" issue, it's a class issue.

— J. Smith, Fla."

From the comments on this article.

Poverty and education has everything to do with how all people see everything.

While watching some stupid morning show today, the discussion was around keeping your medicine cabinet neat because people snoop while they're using your bathroom.

I've never gone into someone's medicine cabinet.
I've looked in bathroom cupboards but only when the toilet paper ran out...

...am I the only one who doesn't care what you have in your bathroom?

When is a woman allowed to retire from parenting?

“There are some parents who probably don’t have a realistic expectation of how invested their parents should be in the grandchildren,” said Dr. Gail Saltz, a Manhattan psychiatrist. “But because this generation’s children are the center of their universe, it’s hard not to take the grandparents’ ‘why should I be bothered?’ attitude personally.”

I dunno.
I think that it's great when a grandparent is very involved with their grandchildren...but, I also think that an adult child shouldn't expect their parents to be "hands on" in their family.

After all, if you choose to have three children a year apart, why should your mother have to come in and save the day for you?

"In these parlous economic times, attitudes like that can have far greater consequences than hurt feelings. If a grandparent cannot or will not baby-sit for a working parent, day care or a nanny may be the only option, and may also be a financial hardship."

Boo hoo.
Last time I checked, people are supposed to make decisions based on what they are able to afford and realistically manage in their own lives.
If you have a parent who is willing to stay home with your children for free after their retirement, consider yourself lucky indeed.

Those post war grandmas are gone forever.

In some cultures, families live together...three generations in one home.
That's not what we're talking about here.

I wonder if these families who are complaining that their parents won't help raise their kids would take care of their parents at home when they're too old to manage independently?
Like some cultures traditionally do.

I'm thinking that if they're having trouble as young parents managing, they won't be very able with an ill, and aging parent.

It's an interesting topic.
I think probably what's irritating to me is the expectation that as a woman, you are never allowed to retire from care-giving without people thinking that you're a selfish bitch for wanting a life of your own.

Grandpa gets to play golf, but Grandma has to babysit grandchildren like it's a full time job...sounds like fair and endless fun retirement times, no?

I would think that by the age of 65, you might have earned some relaxation time.

Lev Grossman gives us 10 reasons why Facebook is for old fogies.


Grossman declares that it's cooler not to be on Facebook.
I'm sure it is.

I've only got a couple of things to say about that:

1. Not being on Facebook will save you from having your prospective employer see drunken pictures of you sucking on a bong, or pictures of you reclining in cheesy lingerie in a messy bedroom.

2. Marketing companies will sorely miss the demographic that loves those stupid quizzes, but reveal valuable purchasing preferences.

I've been off Facebook for awhile now.
But, not because I care about being "cool".

I didn't like the fact that my photos could end up who knows where, in the whole six degrees of separation way of file sharing Facebook has.

I also didn't like the random friend requests from strangers who have never once commented on my blog, but assume we are "friends".

It's creepy.
Facebook is creepy, with their refusal to let you go.
You can't delete your profile, only "deactivate" it.

So, really...by making it "uncool", those old fogies are saving people from themselves, and forcing it to maybe evolve as something altogether different.