Monday, March 31, 2008

Kiss this guy.

More Photo Goodness from Square America

...a roughly chronological selection of over 150 of the best African-American themed photos from the webmasters collection.

I've posted this before...but, so what?


A blog with some pretty intriguing photos of nude women.
It's NSFW, but the boy's got talent if all of those photos were taken by him.


Adopt a Clitoris

"It is a crime against humanity that today, in this so called enlightened 21st century, women in under-developed countries are subjected by force to participate in the sex trades, are denied common freedoms as we know and enjoy in the west, and in certain cultures, are slaves to barbaric practices such as clitoral mutilation in the name of religion and, moreover, male dominance. We can all help. we can support our sisters, and Adopt a Clitoris!"

Molly Johnson

I've loved her should too.

The other night we were talking about our first slow dance.
What the song was, who the person was....

Here's my first...

...and I wonder what Alwyn Burgess is doing now?

What and who were yours?
...even better if you link the YouTube video in your response.
That would make me very happy.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Celebrity Money Pictures.

Sly Stone, fully and totally loaded on the Dick Cavett Show.

But, hey...he's Sly Stone.

The Rolling Exhibition

"1 year ago I was asked by a little boy in Christchurch, New Zealand if I had been eaten by a shark.
2 months ago I was asked by an elderly woman in Sighisoara, Romania if I had lost my legs in a car accident.
6 weeks ago I was asked by a bar patron in Helena, Montana if I still wore my dog tags from Iraq.

Everyone tries to create a story in their heads to explain the things that baffle them. For the same reason we want to know how a magic trick works, or how mystery novel ends, we want to know how someone different, strange, or disfigured came to be as they are. Everyone does it. It's natural. It's curiosity."

Kevin Michael Connelly - Photographer

See a 20/20 expose on him here.

(Thanks Amanda)

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Pulp Fiction

Sooo great.
Over at I'm Learning to Share...

...I particularly like Zsa Zsa Gabor's:

"How to Catch a Man, How to Keep a Man, How to Get Rid of a Man..."

Friday, March 28, 2008

Damn U

....Prince Rogers Nelson, and your Dianne Carroll coiffed self!
No matter how strange and uber-metrosexual-ly you get to lookin'...

I still love you.

Got the attention...not the kind she wanted though...

Busta Rhymes tells off a woman who calls him "ignorant".

(Via Cynical-C)

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Domestic Landscapes - Bert Teunissen


I read about that guy in Missouri who was putting up his satellite dish and accidentally shot his wife the other day...and I knew that it happens more frequently than it should....but holy shit!

What ever happened to using a drill or hammer?

(From Cynical-C)

IKEA Divorced Mom

(Again: Piika)

Damn, Skippy!

Some people have more nerve than a toothache.

Snow in Newfoundland

Ok, I know that I whinged and bitched about the snow...because this year has truly been ridiculous...and in the meantime, I was always hearing about Newfoundland without much of a real concept of their snow situation most years....not just this one.

Check it out.

(Thanks Piika)

Cry me a River...

TTC workers edge closer to strike...

"TTC workers make about $26.58 an hour compared with $26.62 for Mississauga Transit workers, who got a 4 per cent increase in their last contract, Kinnear said in February. Toronto transit workers aren't willing to fall further behind, he said then."

..."At a news conference two weeks ago, Kinnear said the initial offer included a 2 per cent increase in each year of a four-year deal. He has repeatedly said the union is determined to get better benefits in the upcoming contract. Sick benefits and injury compensation are said to be a key sticking point."

Yeah. Ok. This strike won't affect me, except that there'll be more traffic for awhile. I don't know about you, but I think $26.58ph is a pretty good hourly wage. Not to mention the benefits...I heard Kinnear on the news this morning mentioning one of the "key sticking points" being 100% compensation for injury.

I think it's time for the city to hire private bus companies to move the public around during these strikes. Charge the same as the TTC...plan and make arrangements. Not all routes (obviously) but main the subway line.
I think it's time to stop bending over for a transit system that doesn't work, even when they're working.

Rob Ford Arrested For Assault And Threatening Death

Oh Rob, Metro Toronto loves to hate Rob....because he's loud, and crass and kinda hoser-y.
Makes a person think of beer and hockey...not Iced Frappacinos and tofu.

But, you know...apparently he called police last night to complain about his wife, and he's got custody of the kids....sooooooo.....I dunno....

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Money Can't Buy it...

Hillary WASN'T LYING! Bosnia gunfire footage discovered... full CNN form.

(via Cynical-C)

Joan Armatrading - Love & Affection

God, how I loved her when I was 19.

Teens from former Yugoslavia face rape charges

"Whenever they say in the media "from the former Yugoslavia," they're not talking about Serbs.
If it's to do with Serbs, they say "Serbs," but in order to avoid "sullying" the Albanians, Bosnians, or whoever, they say "former Yugoslavia," thereby gaining two things -- they avoid identifying the true nationality of the culprits, saving face again, and they IMPLY that it was Serbs, without actually saying so, when it wasn't.
Note that no Serbs have to date been accused of any criminal acts in the U.S., but quite a few Bosnians and Albanians have -- not that you'd know that from the reports, but anyone from the Balkans can tell by the names.
And then to top it all, they put the perpetrators in the most sympathetic light possible, just like they did with the Bosnian boy who mowed down people in the shopping mall in Salt Lake City on Valentine's Day last year. You're supposed to feel sorry for the criminals, not the victims..."

(Thanks Anna)

Top 12 Drunken Public Appearances

Admittedly, I didn't watch all of them...but, my favourite is Kanye West...even booze can't shrink his colossal ego.

They're missing James Brown on that TV it is:

Mariah's still 12 years old

"Mariah Carey has revealed that she thinks of herself as an innocent girl who is 'eternally 12' – despite her sexy image.

The singer says she has never had a one-night stand and considers herself a prude. 'It's a dichotomy. I understand people think I'm a ditzy moron, but I'm Mary Poppins. I'm what the “button-up” girls are supposed to be,' she said."

Read the whole thing here.

I read that whole article in a breathy, baby voice...because that's how crazy chicks who cling to their early twenties like the loser in a game of tug o' war talk.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

More Great Wedding Photos:

(At Divine Caroline via Boinkology)

They Should Have Given it to Toronto:

The problem is that we can't even efficiently move our own population around on public transportation, never mind millions of visitors.

Besides, you just know Bob Kinnear would stage a wildcat TTC strike for the games anyway.

CNN Pisses Away Final Shred of Credibility with Comedy News Show

Not Just Another Cable News Show will premiere April 5, the network said Monday.

I hate CNN.
It never had credibility for me.

I started hating it back in 1999, and I still hate it today.
It's the "news as entertainment channel" and I consider it the American equivalent of Soviet government news agencies back in the day spewing out propaganda disguised as news when it isn't sensationalizing non-news.

I'm down today.

Tell me a joke.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Why don't you rent an apartment in Paris?

My cousin is going to Paris in the summer, and she's looking to rent an apartment with her boyfriend, since they'll be there for a few weeks.

She sent me that link just to give me an idea...

I think your name needs to be "Paris" to afford them...oh to dream....

3 Reasons Men Hate the Word Monogamy!

1. Restless Brain Syndrome - Men who cheat are often afflicted with this ailment. They need to keep their minds busy in order not to stray.

2. Infidelity Denial Disorder - Men who have this ailment are often unclear about what the definition of cheating is and come up with ways to justify their infidelity. For instance, if a guy doesn't think getting a lap dance at a strip club is cheating, he will do it. Meanwhile, ask any woman out there and she'll tell you that behavior like that is definitely cheating.

3. Ego Reflux Disease - Guys who suffer from this have such huge egos that cheat just because they can. The opportunity to cheat is there and they are going to take it!

Read the whole thing at "Don't Date Him, Girl"

Stranger Photos Have Happened

"I tied a disposable camera to a bench with a sign that read:

Good afternoon,
I attached this camera to the bench so you could take pictures. Seriously. So have fun. I’ll be back later this evening to pick it up.
Love, Jay / The Plug"

(From Cynical-C)

Today's Quote:

"I don’t have time for this wang-dang-doodlery. Jesus got up tomorrow, I gotta go practice my Easter speech and iron my GOOD slacks and polish up my lime green gators! All the backsliding women going to be a church tomorrow!"

The IPS from Tha Feedback

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Peppered Salmon

at Papamo

Eat your vegetables...

I went to the grocery today to pick up a few things.
I asked the 20something guy in the produce section where the leeks were.
"Oh, follow me" he says.
He walks me to the turnips.
I tell him, "Those are turnips. I'm looking for leeks"
He stares at me blankly.
I say, "They look like giant scallions"
Blank stare.
"...Like giant spring onions" I say.
Blank stare.

It's not the first time.
Feed your kids fresh vegetables.
There's no reason to get to 20something years of age and not know your vegetables...unless you've eaten out of a microwave all of your life.

Bure Baruta

This is one of my favourite scenes from the movie Cabaret Balkan.
Angry young man (Sergej Trifunovic) takes over a bus in Belgrade, and sarcastically harasses the passengers connecting the bad bus service with the apathy of a nation.

No subtitles, but those that understand Serbian, Croatian, or Bosnian will understand it (I was being slightly sarcastic with that, since it's the same fucking language)...


"Swenkas are South African men who dress up in tailored suits and hold fashion shows every couple of weeks. At the shows, they’re judged for their outfits, their attention to detail, and the little moves they do to call notice to both. It’s real flourishy. The winner takes a cut of the door fee, which is generally a fraction of the cost of one suit. At Christmas in Durban, all the local swenking organizations get together for the finals and name the swenkiest guy in all South Africa.

Because most swenkas earn about $400 a month and a top-end tailored suit costs about $1,200, they buy clothes on layaway, spending like a year visiting a suit in the shop and making little homeopathic payments on it, dreaming about it at night. Basically, all that My Beautiful Laundrette, Horatio Alger stuff is in full effect, minus the gayness and the wealthy relatives on the one hand and America and rising up on the other.

It is about dreams, friends."

First Love Plans

Thomas(16) and Deborah (15) are in love.
They met online three years ago.

Thomas says:

"I am sure we will stay together for a long time. We’ve already been talking about having a kid. That would be nice."

Remember when you were young enough to view having a kid like buying an ipod?

Reading this made me think of an article I read called Baby Makes Two about the number of people choosing to have children out of wedlock.

"A generation and more ago, that's who most unwed mothers were. But according to the most recent statistics from the Centers for Disease Control, teenagers account for only 23 percent of current out-of-wedlock births. That means the vast majority of unwed mothers are old enough to know what they're doing: Unwed births are surging among women ages 25 to 29."

I realize that I'm getting old enough to be considered "not moving with the times", but I see this as a continuance of refusing to commit to life and responsibilities.
The demand to have the right to walk away from big deal, life decisions with no trouble or consequences.

Personally, I think children deserve more.
They deserve to have that security.
They pay in the long run.

Oh, well...I suppose I should just STFU and applaud 15 year olds who want to have kids and celebrate the decline of the stodgy nuclear family....because you can see how much better things are now....

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Oh STFU Pauly Shore, You'd be doing better in your career if you were actually funny...

"I always pictured you as a nice lady, but after this much snow you're one mean slut."

A great open letter to Mother Nature from a Canadian.

Thanks Lisa

Practical Staircases

Europeans are the best at this sort of thing.
I would love to have these, but you just know that it costs a gazillion dollars to get it done here.

It's Going 2 B a Good Day.

That's what I have as my message when I turn on my cellphone every morning.

This morning as I turned onto a downtown street, I noticed that there were about five streetcars backed up with their hazard lights on.

I got into the right lane to turn onto another street to avoid the streetcars, and I guess I wasn't fully into the lane when I noticed a silver hybrid rather close on my drivers side.
I heard a sound, and I suppose that he thought that we had grazed each other.

I could see that he was shouting.
I pulled over and stopped.
He jumped out of his car yelling....but then noticed that his car was slowly moving backwards toward the car behind his.
I'm assuming he didn't put it in park, rather...he put it in reverse...he panicked and jumped back in, put it in park and got out again.

I got out of my car, and my cell phone started to ring...while it was ringing, the women in the car behind his got out and started yelling at him:
"Get back in your car you fucking asshole, she didn't TOUCH your car!"

My cellphone stops ringing.

He's yelling at me...I'm looking at his car without a mark on it...the woman behind him is still standing outside of her car calling him an asshole.

My cellphone starts ringing again.

He gets back in his car, and burns rubber out in front of me and makes a right.
I wave to the woman.
She smiles.

We could have taken him.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Free Hugs in Novi Sad

What's the Difference?

20 x 2 : What's The Difference? from photojunkie on Vimeo.

I would have liked to see some interracial couples thrown in...but, it made the point it was meant to make, I suppose.

(From BlogTO)

Lullabies for Little Criminals

I'm in the middle of this book right now, and loving it to death.

Heather O'Neill's character "Baby" has stolen my heart.

Baby is all the children raised by people who have no business being parents rolled into one.
The addicted.
The mentally ill...dragging their children through life.

The resilience of children is astounding.
That's what makes the current practice of wrapping children in bubble wrap and never allowing them to learn the meaning of failure, and how to cope with rise above it...absurd.

Children like Baby cope and claw to survive...while coddled suburban teenagers contemplate suicide because they're bored and depressed with life.


"half the point of a really good mix tape was the effort someone had to put into it, an effort they were making specifically for you."

Oh, yes.
I remember the mixtape...I think I still have a few from my single days.
I used to love it when a boy made one for me.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

The Parking Lottery

Often, I can't get a space in the parking lot at work...for various reasons.
People who don't work there that park in the lot, parents, or as is currently the situation...too much snow piled up in the corners have shrunk the lot (which is small to begin with).

I've been forced on many occasions to park on a side street, and getting a ticket is like playing the lottery.

Sometimes I get one...sometimes I don't.
This morning, I was pro-active.

Will I get a ticket?
What is your guess?

If you're right, you win a prize.

Update: No Ticket!

Flock of Mullets...

...made me laugh.

(Thanks Miss Cellania)


"The top 100 songs from the
golden years of popular music -
plus more of our musical heritage."

(Thanks Piika)

LeBron James as King Kong on cover of Vogue?

Racialicious says:

"The King Kong-esque imagery on the latest cover of Vogue is so striking that even bloggers who don’t usually write about race are sitting up and taking notice."

Well, to be truthful...that wasn't what I saw when I looked at the photo...but, I guess if you really want to see it that way.

Is that what you see?

Sometimes I have to wonder if people just look for things to be offended about.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Guy and Madonna to split?

That, in and of itself isn't really a big surprise.
...and to think; Madonna was such an expert in "unconditional love" back in the day.

What made me laugh was this statement:

"...the couple plan to officially announce their split in 18 months time to give Madonna the chance to finish the PR for her new album and for the couple to divise a suitable press strategy."

Oh, well....maybe Guy can make a good movie after she's gone, and she can drop the British accent.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Animals that talk...

I love ads that put animals in human situations. I suppose that's why I find Gary Larson so amusing.

Here are a few ads that made me laugh:

Cow Girl Talk:

Hit the Snooze:

Boy Talk:

...and my favourite cow commercial from the 90's...can you much I loooove you...moo moo moo mooooo

Buying Organic

See which of the country’s (U.S.) largest food producers are behind your favorite organic snacks.


I stick with my belief that it's all processed, or injected unless you grow it in your own backyard.
I don't buy into the organic craze. I stick to thinking that it's just another angle to charge more for less.

While so many pay for the perfection they see in magazines....

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Friday, March 14, 2008


Lil’ Jon helps out disgraced politician Eliot Spitzer.

(Grabbed from A Hot Mess)

Thursday, March 13, 2008

The McClellan Street Project

The "McClellan Street" project happened at the tail end of the late Sixties, a generation was in the streets protesting the war in Vietnam. My sense of the world was of one in turmoil, but one with tremendous idealism. The two important visions of the time, John F. Kennedy's "Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country" and Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.'s "We are all created equal" were central themes in the way we were raised.

(Found at Wood S. Lot)

"A towel was a component part of many customs, primarily those connected with the life cycle such as birth, weddings and funeral customs."

From draping the windshield of the newlyweds car, to waving and whistling at the end of a Kolo dance line, to covering the Slava bread, to getting it whipped across your ass when you don't listen...the towel has an important function in the Serbian household.

Compelling....and from France, of all places!

Miz Pee

Find a clean public bathroom in your city.
Currently, there are only a few listed for Toronto..

(Thanks Alex)

Invincible Cities

A really interesting site documenting 30 years of the American Ghetto.
Navigation of the site is also interesting.

(By way of Funkaoshi)

Last night on the way home from work, many of us were tailgated and cut off by a snotty little teenager in a silver lancer. I kept passing him as he weaved in and out of traffic.
This is the kind of driver you try to stay away from....he was up a ahead of me, and had crossed two lanes cutting off drivers, when I heard a siren.

I couldn't see a police cruiser, and thought...what the hell? Where is he?
Then I noticed the flashing lights on an old beat up brown van.
As I passed it, I saw that there was a woman and a man in the van...LOL

Police have gone all Houdini on your ass!

I love it!

Smack her in the Head...stat!

(Courtesy Cynical-C)

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

This Womack and Womack song has been stuck in my head for the past two days. it can be stuck in yours as well....You're welcome.

'Memba Them?

Where are they now, kind of thing.

Ken Lee

(Thanks Tat, Ken Lee budout jew eeder)

Hip Hop Violin?

I love the violin.
Maybe it has something to do with my nationality, but when I hear a Hungarian Gypsy violin it suddenly makes my eyes go all Puss in Boots from Shrek.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

We had Stuff White People Like.

Now we have Stuff Asian People Like.

Maybe I need to get working on Stuff Eastern Europeans Like.

Nose Art

"The practice of putting personalized decorations on fighting aircraft originated with Italian and German pilots."

...and then there's the quick version of seeing a large selection of nose art on google images.

Free 2 B a Communist Bureaucracy

I was just going to "get over" my experience with the TTC this morning.
...but, then I read BlogTO's little blurb on another possible strike in April and just can't help myself.

I had to buy some tickets in bulk, and usually I call the order line and they deliver them the next day.
This time it wasn't so easy.
Here is how it went, Readers Digest condensed version:

4:02pm: Call order line to find that it's closed. (Yeah. Banker's hours)
4:03pm: Call information line, and am told that order desk doesn't close until 5pm.
I, assuming that information employees know what they're talking about, think that maybe I had the wrong department or something, and dial the number again.
4:05pm: Repeat 4:02pm scenario.
4:07pm: Repeat 4:03pm scenario, and speak to a person who assures me that I can buy bulk tickets at head office at Davisville and Yonge tomorrow during business hours.

Fast forward to this morning:

9:40am: Drive around in circles looking for parking that doesn't cost 10 bucks for half an hour of time.
9:50am: Miraculously find parking right on Yonge Street only a 3 minute walk from TTC Head Office.
9:53am: Stand in line watching TTC employees talking to each other, and milling about behind the glass.
9:56am: Called over by friendly young man behind the glass.
9:57am: Am told that I cannot buy bulk tickets here because; apparently, if I hog 30 sheets of tickets, I will bankrupt Head Office, and there will be none left for other people who might want to buy a sheet or two.
9:58am: I ask employee "Aren't I at TTC HEAD OFFICE?".
Employee responds that indeed I am.
I ask why I can't purchase bulk tickets in person from Head Office?
Employee says that this is ..."the way that it is".
I ask said employee how many sheets I can buy from him.
Employee responds that I can buy only 4 sheets in total.
I sigh, and agree.
Employee disappears to the other side of the office where I can see him through another glass.
10:10am: Watching employee talk to another employee, as he appears to be waiting for said sheets to be cleared with Supervisor.
10:12am: Employee returns with said sheets and a form that needs to be filled out in triplicate.
I fill out form, pay for the tickets and am instructed by said employee to call the order line as soon as I return to my office to order bulk tickets.

11:00am: At my desk, I call the order desk. I am told that I cannot pay for bulk tickets with my VISA, even though my organization has an account with the TTC. I am told that I must pay with certified cheque upon delivery tomorrow.
11:05am: I ask said employee what it's like to work for a Communist Bureaucracy.
Employee laughs heartily, and says that I'm believing the media hype.
I then proceed to tell him my experience attempting to purchase bulk tickets over the last 24 hours.
To make a long story short, I'm S.O.L. and will have to "find a way" to get a cheque certified and will be charged a delivery fee because my bulk order is under $1000.00.

The end.

Something needs to be done.
Simple things shouldn't be made so complicated, but this is what happens when you're a bloated unionized, government funded monopoly.
No private business could survive doing business like this.

Addendum: Addressing Glacia's hate-on for those union endorsed TTC ads. Amen.

Gangsta Chicken Dance

Who brings the cabbage rolls and coffee?

How to Hypnotize a Chicken

I'm sure it comes in handy...mind you...I think it could work on me too.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Scott Taylor speaks at Serbian Demonstration.
(Thanks Anna)

Todays Quote:

"Well...isn't that just the cucumber up the Gardener's ass!?!"



The Mister was leaving, and he asked me: "What are you going to do while I'm gone?"
...and I broke into this song...LOL, but I couldn't remember who did it, or what it was called.

I was having a savant moment.

And then it came to me...I love Mary Wells.

The Interruption
of Anything Profound

Back in the day, I read "Mama" by Terry McMillan and I thought she would be the next Toni Morrison, or Paule Marshall...and then came Waiting to Exhale...and I forgave her.

The whingy, weak women who claimed that they were independent, but were really just jonesing for a man throughout the whole story frustrated me and made me angry.

I know sooo many women who love Terry McMillan...they think she's great.
I can't read her.

I was given "The Interruption of Everything"...and again I tried.
Her characters are so shallow, so transparent...her stories so cliche...her women and spoiled with non-issues made into issues.
The important topics that she touches on, are left dead at the side of the road, while her characters wax on and on about themselves, and their "dreams" and "untapped selves" and the lack of men in their lives, or the dissatisfaction with the ones in their lives.
She's all the bitch without the wit of an evening out with the girls.

She's like a black Danielle Steele...and I guess that fills a genre void or something.

Sunday, March 09, 2008

Blueberry & Strawberry Bread Pudding

at Papamo.

Inspired by Stacerella...I hadn't made it in such a long time...thanks Stace!

Movie Clichés

"When men drink whiskey, it is always in a shot glass, and they always drink it in one gulp. If they are wimps, they will gasp for air, then have a coughing fit. If they are macho, they will wince briefly, flashing clenched teeth."

at Movie Clichés

Curry Crab Crustades

at Papamo


Avocado and Apple w/ Mango Vinegrette

at Papamo

Saturday, March 08, 2008

Lovely little Russian animation from Rantings of an Arab Chick.

The sad thing is that swings are rarely seen in parks anymore...more of the initiatives to stop your child from ever scraping a knee, or falling.
The unfortunate thing is that they won't get that rush of sky that you can only get when you're going fast and high on a swing.

More's the pity.

Radical Mannequins from Dark Roasted Blend.
Kinda creepy.

Friday, March 07, 2008

80's Fashion CringeFest

Woody's Girls (a pun, when you think about it)

Crazy Paula Abdul Moments

and, Biggest Idol Scandals

and, Idol Lookalikes: Separated at Birth.

Because I'm ugly like that.

By Special Request...

Recently, someone bluntly stated that they wished that I would "write" more on my blog...they didn't like all the links.

...In my pathetic attempt to please goes:

I was over at a blog recently...that I'm not going to link to, because I'm not sure that the blogger wants the attention.

She wrote about a family member she looked up to as a younger woman, and how this woman has fallen in her eyes.

This woman has disappointed her.

Dashed her image.

She has made choices in her life that have lowered her in the Blogger's vision of who she was.

These are the milestones in a person's life that are not taken lightly.
That make one think.
Make one aware of aging, time passing.

When you look at your mother, and her step isn't as light as it was, and she looks a little more frail than she used to....and you will her to stop aging.
Because it's frightening.

When you get grown enough that the older people in your life throw open the curtain to their real lives, and reveal to you that "that's life".

That when responsibility rests her heavy cloak on your shoulders, circumstances can sometimes cripple you...and other people's needs become more important than your whims and wants.

When the person you always leaned on, looked up to, depended on...breaks down and cries...shows tells us; "You're on your own, babe."
Find a way to deal.

When you find yourself in a position of walking in shoes that you never thought that you'd ever wear.

That nothing is simple, unless you're stupid.