Wednesday, December 31, 2008

At least he's a good tipper.

Have a Happy New Year!

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Someone buy me one of these, please.

The prequel to: "Help Lord: The Devil Doesn't Like Breast Augmentation!"

(Found at Funky Junk Trunk)

Monday, December 29, 2008

Inside the Actor's Studio with Chris Rock

Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9

ohhhh, the train of thought....

Way it goes...

Last night, my brother in law and I were talking about dealing with people...I've worked for some really difficult people.

Shitty people.

I told him that for years, I really thought that I was a "people person", and it took a job in management for me to realize that; really, I'm not.
When I'm dealing with a difficult person, I try to remind myself that difficult people are made that way by how they've internalized their experiences.

That said, I know that I've been shitty to some people, and that those people would perceive me to be a difficult person.

On occasion, I've caught a glimpse of how someone sees me in a negative way, and it's jarring...but, then...usually... it doesn't matter to me.
Because, unless I respect them...what they think of me, matters not.

One of the best scenes I've ever seen in a movie bringing part of this into light is the "Way it goes..." monologue Kevin Spacey gives in the film Swimming with Sharks.

It's awesome, and you can watch it here

The Giving Tree - Read by Shel Silverstein

(My favourite story)

This picture of William Suarez Peirto: 1943 from Shorpy

Makes me think of what Kid Creole's dad might have looked like.

Oprah finds another fake memoir...

Herman Rosenblat’s holocaust memoir Angel at the Fence: the True Story of a Love That Survived which Oprah Winfrey called, “the single greatest love story, in 22 years of doing this show, we’ve ever told on the air.” turns out to be, um, probably untrue. It all started when Rosenblat, a holocaust survivor, entered a Valentine’s Day newspaper writing contest for the most romantic story...

Geez, can't a couple of seniors get their 15 minutes of cha ching in peace?

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Who's Canadian?

The true story of a dinner conversation in which several Americans came to realize how many iconic Americans are, in fact, Canadian.

"If William Shatner's Canadian," one insists, "then I could be Canadian."

Another opines that there should be a law against Peter Jennings, a Canadian, from hosting a network news program

Hilarious podcast from This American Life.

Let's play:

Find the Canadian!

(Thanks Piika)

Police: Woman faked missing baby story to win back ex

McCormic was trying to lure an ex-boyfriend back when she invented a missing-child story that triggered a statewide search this week, police said Friday.

I've heard of girls faking pregnancies to get a guy back, but this one went all the way.

I hope they do make her pay back all the money that was spent on the search.

NME's Hottest Men in Music

(Click on picture to see them)

Aside from the fact that I'm not familiar with any one of them, I agree with Jezebel:

"It's pretty clear that the readers dig pale, skinny guys with dark hair and slightly dead eyes.

Alex Turner, Jack White, Mark Ronson, and Brandon Flowers all make the list, as do Pete Doherty and Julian Casablancas. The photo gallery is hilarious, in that if you flip from picture to picture, it's almost as if you're looking at a weird family photo album, filled with brothers who share a genetic tendency to scowl and tilt their heads slightly to the left".

Beyonce kicking the shit out of a crazed blonde obsessed with stealing her husband?

No more waiting to exhale...

Friday, December 26, 2008

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Why buy expensive toys?

All the (little tiny) single ladies...

So, while we ooh, and ahh..about how cute she is, and how well she does the moves for such a little girl....I'd like to report to you that this kind of thing has more or less replaced skipping, and playing ball in the schoolyard for girls.

I think it's more than a little sad that little girls don't want to be little girls anymore.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Switched At Birth

On a summer day in 1951, two baby girls were born in a hospital in small-town Wisconsin. The infants were accidentally switched, and went home with the wrong families. One of the mothers realized the mistake but chose to keep quiet. Until the day, more than 40 years later, when she decided to tell both daughters what happened. How the truth changed two families' lives—and how it didn't.

Amazing if you've got an hour to listen to this story.

Who do you think you are?

Studs Terkel, the Chicago reporter who recorded oral histories of ordinary Americans, died last week. We assembled a collection of his work from his Hard Times radio series, in which people talk about their experiences during the Depression—how everyone simultaneously became poor, regardless of their class.

If you don't listen to the whole least listen to the segment on memories of the depression.

There is also discussion and interviews around Obama's victory, and the ambivalence of many African Americans.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Beyonce - Single Ladies (Put a ring on it) Walk it out with Fosse

via Norge Thingy

Whine at the Buffett

What's it like when your grandpa is the richest man in the world? For Nicole Buffett, it means forgoing cable TV and health insurance and making do on $40,000 a year. Here, she dishes on her upbringing and why her grandfather Warren Buffett disowned her.

Forgive me if I have a hard time mustering up sympathy for an adult who isn't getting coin from their rich relatives.

Committed to instilling those homespun values in his grandkids, Buffett agreed to pay for their college educations — and nothing more. He picked up the six-figure tab for Nicole's art school tuition. Once, Nicole called her grandfather's office to ask if he'd help her buy a futon when she moved to an off-campus apartment. "You know what the rules are: school expenses only," his secretary told her.

Grandpa gave her a "six-figure" college education which is more than most of the population gets from their family to go to school...and while we're at it, if she was so concerned about money...why not study something that's going to make you some money?
...Meanwhile, she makes a living off of her art, which is more than a lot of artists can boast.
I'm sure that her surname doesn't hurt her where interest in her pieces are concerned.

The perceived sense of entitlement and Nicole's self-appointed role as family spokesperson prompted Buffett to tell Peter that he'd renounce her. A month later, the mega-billionaire mailed Nicole a letter in which he cautioned her about the pitfalls of the Buffett name: "People will react to you based on that 'fact' rather than who you are or what you have accomplished." He punctuated the letter by declaring, "I have not emotionally or legally adopted you as a grandchild, nor have the rest of my family adopted you as a niece or a cousin." Nicole was devastated. "He signed the letter 'Warren,'" she says. "I have a card from him just a year earlier that's signed 'Grandpa.'"

Yeah, because the best way to endear ourselves to the cash holder with the moneybags in the family is to slag them in the press.

I smell an expose book deal.

P.S.: Here's Nicole's website. You tell me if it's worth 6 figures.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Tom Cruise does Letterman's Top Ten about himself

Lives of the Pathetic and Delusional

When a tour-bus load of would-be Carries, Charlottes, and Samanthas (nope, no Mirandas) go chasing that Sex and the City dream, is it comedy, tragedy, or cultural delusion? Shuttling from a certain sex shop to the Magnolia Bakery, the author ponders their quest.

Firstly, I never understood "Sex in the City-mania", or any other type of obsession with fictional characters.
I don't understand Harry Potter freaks any more than I understand Trekkies, and Star Wars Freaks.

The NYC that these women live in is not one that I was ever familiar with, and I suppose that is part of the appeal for some middle aged women who are living the Ballad of Lucy Jordan....but a bus tour of the haunts of a bunch of fictional characters?

There really is a sucker born every minute.

Oh, ignore me...I'm a pragmatic, wet rag with an over-active sense of reality.

(Article found at Funkaoshi)

News Flash:

Study shows that life is not some piece of shit film.


The Notting Hill effect: How romantic comedies can harm your love life

C'mon...grown women...really.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Just because it made me smile...

My Grandfather sang this song after a few slivos...and I think of him whenever I hear it.

I love this song.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Signs that the Economy is Really Bad

I found this humourous entry from Jezebel called,
"Brazilian Waxes: The Trend that Never Really Existed".

It states:

There's a page-view-baiting essay in Salon today about how, because of the recession and widely acknowledged creepiness, women are going retrobush and shunning Brazilian waxes. But!

Unfortunately, there are no pube-based statistics to back up this shocking discovery, so I'm calling bullshit on the entire thing and saying that not that many women were ripping off all their pubes in the first place.

I must agree with Jessica when she says:

Maybe the porn world saw the rise of the retrobush, and desperate trend story writers used that, and one Sex and the City episode, as evidence that more and more women were going bare down there. But of the women I know, a couple have tried Brazilian waxes one time, but the vast majority have close to their original plumage.

Plus, all hair removal is expensive to have professionally done, and maintained...and frankly, I never really understood why looking like a prepubescent girl would be a turn on to begin with.

I wasn't going to post this at all, until I was led to Uncle Steve's New Waxing Options for the Progressive Woman.

That's my comedy contribution for today.

Bands With Stupid Names Of The Day


The story: Singer Joe Elliott thought of the name Deaf Leopard while he was in school (presumably while failing something). The spelling was later changed so the band didn't become confused with punk bands (who are known for their flawless spelling).

Why it sucks: There's simply no excuse for including a word in your band's name that means you can't hear. You might as well just call yourself Shitty Music and save people the trouble of mocking you.

(click on heading for more)

Icebergs in the Antarctic area sometimes have stripes, formed by
layers of snow that react to different conditions.

Blue stripes are often created when a crevice in the ice sheet
fills up with meltwater and freezes so quickly that no bubbles form.

When an iceberg falls into the sea, a layer of salty seawater can
freeze to the underside. If this is rich in algae, it can form a
green stripe.

Brown, black and yellow lines are caused by sediment, picked up
when the ice sheet grinds downhill towards the sea.

(Click on image for more)

The Places That We Live.

Amazing website with fantastic panoramic photos of life in the slums of Kenya, India, Indonesia, and Venezuela.

(Found at Uncertain Times)

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Monday, December 08, 2008

Interview Hell

I'm interviewing again, and to say pickin's is slim, would be an understatement.

I hate this process with the heat of a thousand suns.
It's like The first few rounds of American Idol, only without the comedy.

I've only just begun screening candidates and here are two MORON experiences I've had, almost back to back.

One woman wanted to know if it was ok to bring her kid to the interview.

I shit you not.

Another asked about the hours of the full time position in question, and then proceeded to tell me that it conflicted with the courses she signed up for in January...and then she "uhm-ed" and "ehm-ed", like I was supposed to help accommodate her by changing the hours of the position, or something...I'm not sure what she was expecting...but I said, "Well, I guess a full time position conflicts with your schedule...tell me, why did you even apply?"

"...oh, I wasn't sure if I was going to go back to school in January..."

I only got her resume 36 hours ago...

Jesus...this is going to suck.

Friday, December 05, 2008

I hope the TTC sponsored this...

(Found @ BlogTO)

Thursday, December 04, 2008

Deny it if you like...
Workplace roles and the dynamics among colleagues can go much deeper than those somewhat superficial stereotypes, especially in a nation where many people spend as much time with colleagues as they do with their families, where the office so often mirrors the family.

(Article found at Jezabel)


This is neither here nor there and certainly none of my business...but, one of my pet peeves is white mothers of black or bi-racial children who never learn to do their hair.

I see it time and time again...and it bugs me.

Take a course from a black woman...take your kid to a black salon, but for Godssake, condition and comb the childs' hair!

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Picasso's Bulls

Totally stolen from Uncertain Times

(Thanks Anna)

Forget the Hatfields and the McCoys
...Check out the Melvins and the Marriotts.

After two years behind bars awaiting trial, Jimmy Melvin Jr. shouted "hallelujah" Friday and said he's looking forward to a cold beer as a free man.
Melvin, 26, was released in Halifax after the Crown withdrew 15 charges against him because two witnesses recanted their stories.

I heard Melvin's press conference on The Current this morning (I think you can hear it here), and between the shout outs, and the "You're looking lovely today..." flirting with one of the reporters..this guy is too much.

He's like one of the trailer park boys, except really, really dangerous.

Apparently, he ran a crack house with one of the Marriotts (Wayne Marriott) a few years ago, and after the police take down, they fell out...I mean really fell out, and not in the "I'm not your friend anymore" kinda way.

Jimmy allegedly was behind the fatal shooting of Wayne, and was in prison for two years. Then, two witnesses recanted, and he was freed a couple of weeks ago...two days later, more violence between the families.

Honestly...and people talk about Toronto

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

(See more here)

I used to make my doll houses from shoe boxes and cartons.
Mine where totally ghetto...I dreamed of doll houses like these.

Monday, December 01, 2008

Dashing Dreams, One Child at a Time.

Today, this is a conversation I had with a child:

Child: "Mrs. M, The Tooth Fairy came last night" (big smile/missing tooth)

Me: "That's great, B!"

Child: "Did she ever come visit you?"

Me: "No. You're lucky."

Child: "She NEVER came to you? Not even when you were little?"

Me: "I don't think she comes to any other countries but Canada and The States"

Child: (Turns to the staff next to me)"What about you Mrs. Mo? Did she come to your house"

Mrs. Mo: "No. She didn't come to Trinidad either"

Child: "Bummer for you guys"