Saturday, September 28, 2002

My husband's reaction reminds me...

Today's experience reminds me of something.
Whenever I read the newspaper and I recognize a last name as one of my own nationality in connection with a crime, I'm ashamed.
I don't know this person.
They are not connected to me.
However, when you are an immigrant, even when you get your citizenship and belong to the country that you live in.
You still....well...kind of feel like a guest, in a way.
When someone of your nationality commits a crime, you feel just a smidge responsible for their bad conduct.
I guess it's the same thing that prompts my husband (sister-in-law, inlaws) to ask, "was he/she black?" when speaking about any crime committed in the city.
They all breathe a sigh of relief if you say "no".
I can see it in their faces.
I know I feel that way.
I know that my husband felt embarassment for that woman today.
That's why he kept repeating, "look at yourself" to her quietly.
He asked me when we left the store if I was, "ok".
It's the question I should have asked him.