Rich People Amuse Me: Installment #2

Do you absolutely have to have "exquisitely crafted Swarovski Crystals" in the bottom of your glass?

Does your water have to say cool Jazz, like George Benson?

Do you need to roll around nude with your bottle of water, and if you're a chick, balance it on your ass?

Then Bling H2o is for you.

At $35 a bottle, it should be able to play George Benson when you walk into a room, and doors should fly open on their own like you're in a rap video.

Frankly, when I look at that bottle, it makes me think of drinking JLo's perfume:



No.
But really, people are taking this shit seriously...it's in magazines and everything.

Found and laughed at, at: neatorama

Lemon Meringue Pie at Papamo

Sunday Click-Around

The Director Who Films Your Life Test...Apparently, Sofia Coppola would direct mine.
My life story would be, "70% romantic, 25% comedy, 36% complex plot, and have a $ 34 million budget".
Geez.
It didn't cost 34mil to friggin' live it....Hmmm, who would play me? Sandra Bullock. The Mister? Forest Whitaker (I love him).
Take the test, and then tell me who would play you and your leading man/lady.

If you have a ton of time, check out Word Association.
You most certainly can spend a long time typing in words that pop into your head. You could be typing forever....

Ok, since there is no direct link to what I want you show you...you have to navigate your way though 120seconds.com. It's a CBC link, so it doesn't surprise me that you can't link directly to what you want. (Sorry CBC, I love you...but you think like unionized government employees).
So, go to 120seconds.com, click on the "giggles" tab, and then click on the Alt.comedy Lounge icon. Check out the following Stand Up Comedians: Pete Zedlacher, and Rob Ross. I'd never heard of them, but they're funny.

This Church Sign website seems to be doing what organized religion types do best. Criticize. The website is dedicated to correcting and/or criticizing those roadside church signs with the little sayings and slogans.
It's actually kind of funny, in a superior, nitpicking at scriptures, kind of way.

I like this guys art.

That's all

Well...

So, there I was...doing a simple search on Barbara Stanwyck, when I was tossed down the tunnel of Hollywood lesbians!

Stay with me...it started with her, and led to:

Marlena Dietrich, which led to...Ona Munson, which led to...Greta Garbo, which led to...Mercedes de Acosta, which led to...Tallulah Bankhead, Isadora Duncan, Maude Adams, and Adele Astaire (Fred's Sister)

To Claudette Colbert, to Joan Crawford, to Billie Holiday.

I must say that Mercedes and Garbo certainly were busy "spreading the love", if you know what I mean....

The question now is: Was anyone straight?

I vant to be alone...

I vant to be lyink on da chaise longue, an smoke da cigarettes.
I vant to boz mai manservant aroun an mek him bring me da bon bons, an bekaz I am lyink down...I vill vear dis shoes.
I vanna ver da silk kimono, mit mai hair an mekap to be perfekt.

I don vanna go to da Valmart, an da grocery stor.
I don vanna clean da hous, an kook da dinne.
I don vanna run da....how yu say.....errands.
I vanna hev, how yu say...."peopl" to do dis for me.

I vanna say "bazz aff, responsibilities!", "Kiss mai tuchas, obligatshons! Go avay! Leave me alon!"

I vanna bi like Greta an Marlena touday.

Cool Dancing


While busy in the kitchen this afternoon, I was irritated by the doorbell ringing.
"Ugh. Salesperson..." I thought.

I got to the door and could barely see the person through the glass, they were so short. It was a nervous little boy.

I opened the door and he flicked his long, dark bangs out of his eyes and stuttered out:


"Sppponsser me?"

"For what?"

"A Ddddance...athon"

I have to smile.

"What kind of Dance-a-thon?"

"Dddancing fffferalongtime...ttt'cool music"

Would you have been able to say "no"?

I didn't think so.

Life is like a movie...

The other night, I was in line to buy gas.
I had to back in to the bay, and wait for the empty vehicle's driver to get out of the way. It's amazing how 77.3 a litre can draw a crowd of people like they're giving it away for free...anyhow...

There I was.

Waiting.

A cab pulled up in front of me and stopped. A guy in his late 20's or early 30's ran out of the store/coffee shop/lottery ticket outlet/gas station, and looked straight at me, put his hand on the door handle and stopped.
He lifted his other hand slowly, and waved.
Slowly.
He was staring at me.
I was uncomfortable, but I smiled a polite smile.
He got into the cab, never taking his eyes off of me...
I'm looking at him like "ok, buddy...it's enough now...".
He was looking at me longingly.
Like a puppy.
As the cab pulled away, he slowly put his thumb to his ear, baby finger to his lips and mouthed "call me".

WTF?

Now, I really wonder who he thought I was.
What the story behind his reaction was.
Did he think I was an old girlfriend?
Did he think that we'd met somewhere before?

Then, this morning... I stopped at the bank, and there were two cars parked in the parking lot drivers side to drivers side. When I got out of my car, I noticed that there were people in both cars.
A black man in the red car, an Asian woman in the white car.
They had their windows open and were talking.
She was crying, and upset.
It was drama...but, you know...I had to keep moving...What do you think was happening there?

Really.
Sometimes life is like a movie.

When bloated heads collide...

Ok.
I hate Oprah, and I hate Bono.
Both self-righteous, over-rated and superior, self-appointed world conscience...Oprah and Bono will now get together for charity.

Yeah.
I know...it's horrible of me to make fun of them.
They're doing a good thing...and that's true, but I don't care.

I can't stand either of these two superior attention whores.
It'll be a challenge to get their swollen, self-important heads through the door...all that's missing is Bob Geldoff, and then they can lecture the world on how everyone should be doing things.

Here's a website dedicated to hating Oprah, which is pretty amusing...and just to be fair, here's an essay on why Bono is a self-righteous ass.

Urban Dictionary on "Bono":

"To save the world with everybody elses money"

"A Bland irish Musician in the band U2, who helps third world countries, yet also stars in apple ads, to help just make that trade margin between the rich countries and the poor countries just that little bit larger, but dispite that little minor hypocrisy there, bono has daft looking glasses,is incredibly pietistical and writes not necessarly talentless music, but has the keen ability to write the same song, over and over again, and Just for anyone goes "your stupid bono isn't self rightous....", and i quote from the golden oldy of a rocker, "I don't know why, but we always had this belief that there was something sacred about our music, that it was almost holy.""

There's plenty more...

Urban Dictionary on Oprah:

"A god to the Middle-aged Stay at Home White Women tribe, who's word is law to said tribe"

"Example of what happens when the a super self-important rich woman has too much time on her hands"

Here's Oprah being interviewed...Tell me that she's got a realistic view of herself and her minions.
She hasn't lived in the real world for over two decades.

Bleh.
I can't stand either of them.

Reel them in Keiko!

"Hello my name is Keiko and I live in Tokyo in Japan. I have a nice apartment in Ochanomizu and you are welcome to stay with me if you are UNDER 35 and YOU ARE NICE LOOKING and YOU ARE WHITE. You can save your hotel cost (a lot in Tokyo!) and we can have fun! – but ONLY if you are a white guy. I do not want asian men, sorry."

So, do you think that when you get your pasty American ass over there, instead of cute little Keiko waiting to boink your brains out...there are 3 or 4 scrappy Asian guys with brass knuckles and gold teeth waiting to rob you, kick the shit out of you and harvest your organs?

No.
Really...she wants you, stupid white boy.

The rush to blame anyone but the mother in the Campione case begins.

So, now reports of Children's Aid involvement in the case of the mother who murdered her two young children, and how:
"Inquests have shown that time and time again, child-care workers identify too closely with the mother's needs to the detriment of the vulnerable children involved".

The fact that:
"Ms. Campione and her husband, Leo, whom she had accused of assault and threatening, were going through a bitter custody battle. As a result of those unproven charges, Mr. Campione was under a restraining order that prohibited him from being alone with his children".

Once again, the bias on behalf of the mother, regardless of how unstable...is at work here.

To blame CAS workers is a bit of a stretch for me.
Social workers have to go by the information that is available to them.
Through the courts, and the control of information through Lawyers.

Now, after the fact, we can interview the neighbours, and family friends, and the father, and the inlaws...and we're listening.
While the custody case was in full swing, and the children were alive, I'll bet cash money nobody gave a shit about what the father, or his parents had to say about the mum's mental stability.

Now, it's Children's Aid's fault that she killed them, because they didn't work on behalf of the father. Meanwhile, child custody laws are slanted in favour of the mother...even if she's crazy.

So rather than look at that big and messy problem in the courts regarding custody, and rights...it's just much easier to blame the peon Social Workers for carrying out the job that their hands have been tied by the courts to do.

That's right.
It's fucked up.

I said it.

This morning while going through my "coffee and online news" ritual, I ran across this post on YouTubers at Cynical-C.

In the little segment, one of the YouTubers says that YouTube is like crack, a bit of an addiction. Well, for a people watcher like me, it totally is.
People are interesting. The reasons that they post video blogs is sometimes interesting, sometimes stupid, sometimes funny, and sometimes very thought provoking.

Take for example a YouTube poster who goes by the name of Mr. Pregnant.
For the most part, his video blogs are just him being a jackass, and for me mostly unwatchable....but, on occasion...he can be quite provocative.

Take for example his video blog called: "I am White"

He rants about the gulf between West Indians and African Americans.
This is something that is quite seditious.
Mr. Pregnant pulls out all the stops in this video blog and engages in an angry, sardonic jab at African Americans.
Really way out.



And then comes back in reply to the angry comments with "What is Racism?" that is really worth watching.

This kind of thing is what makes YouTube so fascinating for me.
People. People. People....

Rich People Amuse Me...

Apparently, Burger King bought P. Diddy a channel on YouTube.
This is where you'll be able to see all the stupid mundane shit that Diddy decides that you should see about his upcoming whatevers.
Before that little video, when do you think was the last time Diddy stepped into a Burger King?
10?
15 years?
Please.

He was dressing like the Burger King at parties for free.
Burger King didn't need to buy him a thing.

The Childless Revolution

More and more people are choosing not to have children.
It's interesting how many people view couples who choose not to have kids.

DINKS (Dual Income No Kids) are often viewed as selfish, or simply not normal. I think women often get the most criticism for deciding not to have children.
The assumption is that there is "something wrong" with a woman who's not interested in being a mother.

Frankly, I have more respect for a woman who realizes and admits that she's not up to the task of being a parent, than for the woman who has children, and doesn't take the job seriously.
The reality is that there are many reasons that women end up with children, and it isn't always because they love and want them.

While childless groups are now on the rise, many people view these groups as "anti-kid".
But, the groups I've read about are more concerned with having friends who choose their lifestyle and aren't judging them, as well as advocating for "childfree" venues.
I ran across this broadcast from 2004 aired on a Boston radio show discussing all sides of the coin when it comes to having, and not having children.
It's a 45 minute clip on RealPlayer, and it's worth listening to.

Parents and Non-parents are interviewed for their choices where children are concerned, and not so surprisingly, there are many couples with children who are advocating for "childfree" zones.
They state that there used to be places where people could go without having to deal with fidgety children, now even The Opera or bars are allowing children in.
One parent stated that when she and her husband pay a babysitter $14 an hour to get away for some "adult time" and go to a pricey restaurant for dinner, they don't want to deal with your child running up and down the aisles between tables.
I can't say that I disagree.
While I do love children, I don't think that every venue should be available to them. I don't believe children should be in bars, The Opera, or even evening movie showings.
I've been to movies where I've had to put up with a restless kid behind me whose attention span cannot tolerate a two hour movie geared to adults.

I agree that a couples' choice not to have children should be respected, and it's none of our business why they made that choice.

Tanksgivink Click Around

So, Here's a little Charlie Brown holiday fun.
Back in the day Charles Schultz was the King of holiday cartoon specials. "It's The Great Pumpkin", was probably my favourite of the holiday cartoons.

I think that it's a little sad that most children's cartoons now revolve around selling a product, rather than just being entertainingly clever animation. It's also unfortunate that so many of the great Warner Brothers cartoons have been altered or banned because of what's considered not "politically correct", rather than seeing it as a snapshot in time, and a comment on how our society has evolved.
But, whatever...time marches on, and there are still good animated movies...just not on Saturday mornings...which Lyndon of Lyndonology points out in this post.


While we have a warm and fuzzy October clip, here's a rather depressing Thanksgiving Prayer by William Burroughs.
Though it's not American Thanksgiving, and I'm not American...Thanks for the freedom to recite a poem like that and not be stoned to death.

Beware of men whose middle names are Wayne.
I don't think I know any Waynes...but I don't know a lot of peoples' middle names.
Do you?

That was Me! Is a website dedicated to photos with strangers who found themselves posing in someone else's pictures. Some of the pictures are really funny.

This little kid is unbelievable...and who knew that the beginnings of breakdancing were so popular in India in the 1980's?

I'm a big fan of watching those spelling bee competitions. It's high drama, and the kids are amazing. I could watch spelling bees like The Mister can watch sports.
This kid is the kind of drama I'm talking about...because the pressure is strong on these young kids, but they all show incredible stamina, and determination.

Want a Ninja to do your bidding? Here's the Ninja Text Generator.

And then, last but not least...I ran across this interview that made it online after probably being edited out of some broadcast at least a decade ago. Torontonians will know that Coles Bookstore hasn't been on that corner on Yonge Street for at least ten years. (Sideline: The Mister used to work across the street from it 15 years ago)...The question was: "Should all Canadians speak French?" They meet some woman who is a total nutty freak.
It's NSFW...in fact shield your eyes.

Happy Canadian Thanksgiving.

P.S.: Tomorrow, I'm going over to Mama's to watch some Serbian movies with her. If you've got any questions you'd like to ask, post them in my comments and I'll try to get her on film to answer them.
:)

It is what it is...or is it?

So, you're married to your wife for 17 years and after 17 years, you divorce.
You end up having to pay 1,200 a month in alimony, and then you find out after 18 months that your ex-wife is now your ex-husband.

Should you have to continue to pay?

When a mother kills her children, she's mentally ill...when a father kills his children, he's a monster.

Why is that?

Why isn't she a monster too?

Image: Gustav Klimt

Photo Booth

Some of you will remember the Photo Booth video that I linked to a couple of weeks ago.
Well, here's a new one. Same booth, different people:

Dear Self-Important Blue Tooth User,

I realize that in your world, you're more important than the Prime Minister or the President (because even THEY don't walk around with a cyberbox in their ears), and you need to be "connected" to whoever it is that you need to be connected to...but, I'd appreciate it if you didn't waste my time by interrupting me in mid-sentence to "take this call", because the information that I have for you is not for my benefit.

I'm sure you didn't think me rude for walking away, since it's clear to me that manners are not a priority for you.

Regards,
Radmila

Stumbling on Happiness...

I heard Author Daniel Gilbert interviewed yesterday, and I found his argument that:

"most of us wrongly believe that how we felt when we experienced an event in the past can be a telling predictor of how we will feel about that same event in the future".

Gilbert says that we also incorrectly imagine that how we feel about a situation we are currently experiencing, is how we will feel about it in the future. (I will never do that again!.)
We fail to realize that things look different once they actually happen.
For example, potential future events we anticipated with fear turn out to be not as terrible as we thought they'd be, or vis versa. Sometimes it's years later when we recognize that it was a good or bad thing that we didn't get what we wanted.

It got me thinking.

Like mama says, when some things happen, "It's for the best".
A little while ago, I got to the second round of interviews for a job I really wanted.
I didn't get it, and was a little bitter about it.
Last week, I found out that due to government cuts, the job I was in line for was also cut.
It really was for the best that I didn't get what I wanted.

Gibert discussed the whole concept of thinking that if we get what we want, then we'll be happy. I agree with him that it isn't necessarily the case.
He said that we often mistakenly think that we know what will make us happy.
The things that make us happy now, may not make us happy in a year, or even six months time. The goals we set to do whatever it is that we think will make us happy, may not lead us there....and if they do, it may not be what we envisaged in the first place.

I'm of the mind that happiness is fleeting.
I mean, I can feel contented, and appreciate that I have a good life without chasing "happiness" around.
I think that we often link happiness to goals or events.
Once I get that job/promotion/house/man/kid, I'll be happy.
By the time you get there, and it doesn't happen, or it does...there's something else that will make you happy....you proceed to chase your tail again.

This whole concept of perpetual happiness is really ridiculous.
But there are many people who think that happy is something you need to be all of the time.
Which is really impossible, when you think about it.

Remember that Twilight Zone episode where a small-time crook gets killed by the police during a robbery and finds himself in an afterlife where he can have anything he wants. But, he's soon bored with it because he knows the outcome of everything?....and he's going to have to live with it for eternity... in the Twilight Zone."

"Don't make yourself too complicated. Find pleasure in simple things...if you make yourself too complicated, you'll never be happy".
Quote: Uja

"You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometime...you just might find...you get what you need"
Quote: The Rolling Stones.

Sunday Click Around

The Chalkboard Manifesto is cute, and funny.

If anyone is looking for more Goodness Gracious Me videos...maybe some that you couldn't find on YouTube...you can find them here. Since almost (if not all of them) were taken from this guy.

Anyone can write poetry...realistically...you only think that you're writing good poetry. In reality, you need to throw together a bunch of words, and those words can be read into and they can mean what you like, in accordance with your own personal experiences.
It's exercise for the brain.

Here's some sheep poetry for you. Make your own sheep poetry with The Sheep Poetry Generator.

Speaking of words, how about the origin of words?
Etymologically Speaking has a list of origins for you.

Ay Yai Yai!!!

If you're a movie freak, and I know that some of you are, The Movie Sounds Page will give you sound bites from some of your favourite movies.

What movie is this from?
Huh?

Check out Children's Books of the early Soviet Era.
There's a section on The Young Pioneers.
My mother was one, and when I was a very young girl I was taken to many events that were quite "Pioneer-ish".

While many people in the West see The Young Pioneers as a Soviet recruiting tool, it was more like patriotic Girl and Boy Scouts.
Theories are innocent.
Communism was a good theory.
The problem is that humans were in charge, and most of them are too greedy, and corrupt in order to have a theory of equality successfully implemented into society.
It's the people who are in charge that are corrupt and evil, yeah?

And one last thing:

TETRIS!