Money Talks and Bullshit Walks

Jessica Seinfeld, the comedian Jerry Seinfeld’s wife, has a hot best seller with “Deceptively Delicious,” a cookbook for parents of picky eaters. Ms. Seinfeld’s celebrity and an appearance on “The Oprah Winfrey Show” have helped propel the book to the No. 1 spot on the hardcover Advice, How-To and Miscellaneous list in The New York Times, where it will make its debut a week from Sunday.

However:

“The Sneaky Chef” by Missy Chase Lapine, who is not a celebrity, also suggests that parents purée healthy foods like spinach and sweet potatoes and hide them in childhood favorites like macaroni and cheese or brownies. A week from Sunday it will be No. 9 on the paperback Advice, How-To and Miscellaneous list.

Apparently, Ms. Lapine was shopping the book around for a few years before a teeny little publishing company picked it up around the same time that Seinfeld's book was picked up.

A while ago I talked about Oprah's statement that there is no such thing as "luck"...and I'm starting to see her point.
Maybe there is no such thing as luck...only nepotism, cronyism, fame and money that puts you "in the right place at the right time" and maybe this kind of thing is the "...preparation" that meets "the moment of opportunity".

Lapine's problem?
Not having access to Oprah, not being connected to fame, or both.

on another note:

When is choosing to be a single mom ever a good idea?
Apparently, it is now.

I'll tell you what...
How about you think about the future human you'll be bringing into the world rather than your own biological clock and desire to have children?

To quote Chris Rock (watch the video here):
"Sure a woman can do it alone...and I could probably drive my car with my feet, but that doesn't make it a good idea".

I could just squeeze him to death.



I love when they're at that toothless stage.

Quote of the Day:

"....And when a woman stops talking, the relationship is in trouble"

~Brotha Buck~

Meltdowns: not having enough to really worry about.

I watched Ellen DeGeneres's meltdown over a lapdog that she had to give away, and it got me thinking about how fragile people who are over pampered are.

Don't you wish that you could afford to breakdown over unimportant shit?

Here's Comedian Jim Norton on Owen Wilson's suicide attempt:

"If having a career like that and f**king the girls he f**ks, if that’s not enough to keep you alive, then none of us have a shot. If even having that you want to toss yourself in front of the train, we’re all finished."

Now, before you all go "Money isn't everything" on my ass, I'll quote my mother on the topic. "Maney dozen't mek yu heppy, bat eet mekka da mizery comfortable".

Pepper Sauce @ Papamo

Next to Birkenstocks, I don't think I hate any other footwear more.



Thanks to Cynical-C for the link, and the reminder that I hate them.

Sunday Click Around

THE Right Brain vs Left Brain test ... do you see the dancer turning clockwise or counter-clockwise?
If clockwise, then you use more of the right side of the brain and vice versa.
I saw her going in both directions alternately, so what does that mean?

Office Space: Where are they now?

100 Young Americans is a project profiling youth in American culture. Interesting.
And then of course...one of my favourite Bowie songs: Young Americans.

French Idol with a human beat box.

There's art, and then there's things that people call "art".
Here's "Doris's Crack" at the Tate Modern.

Handbags of Horror is cringe inducing for any woman who loves handbags.

Here's a Gregory Hines video with Pam Grier as his girl...not enough of Gregory dancing in this video.

The Skank Bag from The Home Purchasing Club.

How to walk in high heels. The videos on Video Jug amuse me.

Financial identity theft is big issue, but what about Internet identity theft?
Here's an interesting expose from Fox News where they track and find someone who stole someones photo and used it to meet women.

Snowball the Parrot loves the Backstreet Boys. I loved it.

What a wonderful little animation "Reflections" is.

Embarrassing movie posters...no kidding.

Sesame Streets - by Martin Scorsese.

A montage of funny photos.

Ugly Models has your pick of thugs, bikers, and freaks for your advertising needs.

Vincent Price for milk.

That's it.

Too Funny!

Jim Breuer talks about drinking.

Chrysler on strike again.

Man, I'll bet that China just can't wait to get their cars into the market over here.

Ok, I'm hoping that my drive in this morning isn't representative of what the rest of the day will be...VOTE, VOTE, VOTE....don't forget to VOTE.

Even though the pickin's is slim.

Prison Time? Are you kidding me?

Runner Marion Jones faces prison time for steroid use.
I'm not even going to get started on drugs in sports, and the ball of contradiction that is...
Never mind the risk she's put her body in.

Maybe she should have sold drugs instead, she might get off lighter.

Roadside Memorial.

There's something ominous about seeing this memorial at night.
The whole bus shelter is surrounded with flowers and photos, the entrance to the shelter obturated by 30 or so white candles.

So very sad, and senseless:

"The teen (Akila Badhanage, 16 years of age) was swarmed by four or five youths last Friday and stabbed to death as he headed to an after-school job at a coffee shop near Bramalea City Centre."

Is life this cheap now?

Happy Canadian Thanksgiving!



Happy Columbus Day to my American friends..

Sunday Click Around

To your left, the photo is from British Comedians in Famous Poses found at A Welsh View.

What ethnic girl should you date? Turbo-stereotyping for fun.

I was thinking about Apache Dancing a while ago. Not the recent "electric slide" kind of dance move...the old time Apache Dancing. I remember seeing the dance when I was a kid and being shocked at the violence of it.
"The Apache Dance was first reported as a domestic street fight between two men and a woman in the 'Montmart section' of Paris in the front of a night club that was indirectly responsible for the name "Apache.""

Speaking of the "Electric Slide", here's an article about a white guy who claims that he invented it.

Here is a clip of Apache Dancing from 1934, and another from around the same time.

While we're on dance, let's check out Gene Kelly's "Newspaper Tap".

The 10 most amazing temples in the world.

The Russians and The Chinese are unbelievable when it comes to intricate art endeavours. Check out these egg carvings.

I love comedy, and so do you...right?
So, I got to thinking about a lot of Comedians, and skits that I've really enjoyed.
For example, the "Gone with the Wind" skit from the Carol Burnett Show: Part One & Part Two...."I saw it in the window, and I just couldn't resist"....

How about Bob & Doug McKenzie? The sketch was conceived when SCTV moved to the CBC television network. Each episode to be broadcast on that network was two minutes longer than those syndicated to the United States. The CBC network heads asked the show's producers to add specifically and identifiably Canadian content for those two minutes. Here's another clip.

I loved the characters that were created on SCTV...Martin Short and his Ed Grimley character...and the terribly missed John Candy. Remember The Shmenge Brothers?
So many of SNL's best Comedians have come out of Second City...Belushi...ok, and here's the Olympia Restaurant skit..it could be on the Danforth, Ackroyd, Radner, and so many more..Remember "Landshark?"...or how about "Cops: The Bloopers"?

Another Comedian I miss terribly is Phil Hartman. Here's an interview with Greg Kinnear from 1994. Part One and Part Two.

Here is Christopher Walken answering Census questions with Tim Meadows.

...On to other Comedians...I lovelovelove Steve Harvey. Here he is comparing Hip Hop to Old Skool, and then here's Sista Odell...and then there's Bernie Mac all of this from The Kings of Comedy.

....and last but not least, Bobby DeNiro opening SNL with Homeland Security.

The End.

8 Schoolboys Charged with Assault

"Toronto police have arrested eight boys aged 12 to 13 and charged them with sexual assault.

Police said the boys allegedly assaulted four girls at Smithfield Middle School in Etobicoke. The attacks happened on school grounds, after hours, on Sept. 25."

Listening to talk radio this morning, an overwhelming number of callers felt that the young boys "didn't understand what they were doing", and that the arrests were "going too far".

As someone who knows that this sort of thing has been going on forever, and more or less minimized, and dismissed as behaviour by individuals "too young to understand what they're doing"...I'm thinking that it's about time that it's taken seriously.

As someone who had this experience in 6th grade, I'm glad to see this happening.
During the discussion on the radio this morning, I was hearing a lot of, "girls dress like skanks now...", it's true....but still, it seems a poor justification for sexual assault.

I want to see more sexual assault charges, until young boys understand that their age, raging hormones, and provocative dress of young females is not a justification for sexual assault.

I want to see this happening until young girls are comfortable enough to go to their teachers to tell them when something like that happens, and a law in place that forces teachers and people in positions of power into a "duty to report".

Rob Croxford at his opening of “Where the Grass is Greener”

A Solo Exhibition of Environmental Works by Rob Croxford

Showing Oct 3 - 27, 2007

Site Gallery at 129 Ossington

Nice.
You should check it out.

The Spock Five never ceases to amuse me...

So, last night I watched "Next" with Nick Cage...and was thrilled to see Sergej Trifunovic in that movie as a sniper.

Damn, is it wrong of me to be rooting for Sergej in the movie, even though he's a "bad guy"?

When he misses Nick in the parking lot, he curses.... "Picka ti materina", he says.
That particular curse has always amused me when it's said by your mother.

I Want to Work for the Government

I did a change of address on my Drivers License on August 31st.

It's now October 3rd and I'm wondering about my Driver's License.
So, I looked up numbers on the Ministry of Transportation website, and started calling the numbers that might get me the information I'm looking for....was my new license processed?

After navigating through the labyrinth of call prompts and referral numbers, I finally get through to a real live government employee.
An employee whose job would appear to be to field and answer inquiries from the public.
I made that assumption because the call prompt informed me that the operator that would come on the line would assist me.

This is how the conversation went:

Me: "Hi, I did a change of address on August 31st and I'm wondering if my license has been processed."

Government Bitch: "It's only the 5 week mark"

M: "Ok. How long does it generally take?"

GB: (Exasperated tone) "At least 6 weeks...I mean, if you haven't got it within 8 weeks, then go back to the office that you applied at, right?"

Me: "So, you can't tell me if it's been processed?"

GB: (audible frustrated *sigh*) "No. I can't do that. I can see when you went into the office, but I can't tell you if it's been processed."

M: (Slightly sarcastic and tart) "Forgive me, but I don't work for the Ministry, so I wouldn't know timelines and what normal wait times are, or what information you do or don't have access to. That's why I'm calling."

GB: (terse) "Well, I can't get the information you're looking for. Just wait the eight weeks and if you don't get it by then, then go back into the office you did the change at. Ok?"

M: (Laughing) "Ok"...and I hang up.

Is there any organization or business other than government where you would be allowed to speak to clients this way?

I don't think so.

I want to work for the government so that I can speak to people any fucking way I want to.

"Caveman" on The View.



I'm sorry, but I found this hilarious.