If this is an epidemic, explain to me why I'm seeing more fat kids than ever before.

More Than Just Babel...or is it?

Last night, we rented Babel.
I wanted to see it, and it was highly recommended by friends who had seen it.
While I appreciate the stories, I didn't appreciate the depression.
There was no break in the shitty feelings, the sadness and the poverty.
This is the first movie that I've seen in a long time that I'm glad I saw, but never want to watch again.
If you want confirmation that the world is a shitty place, go ahead and rent it.

Police chases.
Should we stop them?
Because of this case, discussion around stopping police chases begins again.
firstly, I know that this kid is 19, and often 19 year olds think they're invincible, and they make stupid decisions...but still, who tries to outrun the cops?
I mean, if you're not guilty of anything but speeding, why are you going to initiate a chase by not pulling over?

I dunno...if I were a criminal, I'd be totally on board with banning police chases.
Then, I could freely commit crimes and know that all I had to do was put the pedal to the metal to get away with it.

Bad Parents on Parade...

Let's face it. 
Parenting is a crapshoot. 
Sometimes regardless of how hard you try to do the right thing, you still have a little demon spawn for a child. But, other times, it's clear to the rest of us that you suck as a parent, and your kid doesn't have a chance. 

Here are a few tips on how to screw up your kid.



1. Give your 12 year old son a lapdance.

So, here's PDiddy's 12 year old son Justin getting a lapdance.
See the rest of the pictures here.
I don't even know what to say about that.
I don't know where to start.
Just looking at those pictures makes me want to slap Diddy in the head.
Is that even legal unless you're in Thailand?
Money can't buy sense.

2. Have authorities threaten to take your son away because he weighs three times what a kid his age should weigh.

LONDON–British authorities may take an 8-year-old boy weighing 218 pounds into protective custody unless his mother improves his diet.

Social service officials will meet family members today to discuss the health of Connor McCreaddie, who has lost 20 pounds in two months but still weighs more than three times the average for his age.

3. Give your kid a stupid name that only you think is clever.

4. Teach your 2 year old how to handle a gun.

5. Shoot your kids computer instead of just taking away the power cord when you want him to stop playing.

Mexican Wedding Cake



At Papamo.

Sunday Click Around

These past few days I've been guest blogging over at Cynical-C.com, and I've been having a ball just posting things that I come across.

I'll post some of my favourites here, plus some.
The image to your right is from InsaneFlash.
I just thought it was funny. Apparently, the father in the photo is Jim Bob Duggar he was an Arkansas State Representative.

Mr. Sulu responds to Mr. Hardaway's homophobia from Glacia.

Sometimes reverse psychology just doesn't work.

Surrender to your new Leader.
(Someone has a lot of time on their hands)

Here's a culture remix of Hip Hop Dancers and Serbian Folklore music...laugh?
I thought I'd die. Thanks Anna.
While we're on Serbs, let's check out Boban Majstor Violine! As well as My Humps (Serbian Parody).

Cheat'n husband? Move to Uglyville!

Moslem chicks like to shake it too!

I love little crabs, I think they're really cute...that's why I thought this commecial was funny...until the end.

This guy takes a job at a Pizzaria, and then gets punk'd.

Zeki Müren looks like the Turkish Liberace to me, and I quite like his music..he looks like my great auntie Zorica. Apparently, he's a trailblazer in helping Turks become more tolerant of  more openly gay/transsexual Turkish artists like Bülent Ersoy, Fatih Ürek and others.

Earlier this week I saw that video of rats running rampant through a Greenwich Village KFC, and I cringed through the whole thing. It made me ok with cooking and never eating out ever again!
While I was watching it, all I heard in my head was UB40's "Rat in Mi Kitchen".
While we're on UB40, here's one of my favourite UB40 songs, "If it Happens Again".

Since we're talking about favourites, American Idol is winding down to the time when I bow out of watching. Once they get to the finalists, I'm no longer interested.
The other night when Amy Krebs was voted off, I cried just a little (along with many of the contestants). Not because she sang "I Can't Make You Love Me", by Bonnie Raitt. (and that song makes me shed a tear whenever I hear it) But, because when it was time for her to sing, she asked if she could sing another song, and when she was told "no" she rolled her eyes and mouthed a silent little "fuck", and then proceeded to sing the song better, and more heartfelt than she did the first time.  It was the wrong song for her. 
Hell, it's the wrong song for Bonnie Raitt and she wrote it!
Whenever I hear that song, I long to hear a black womans soulfoul, strong voice singing it. Prince did an excellent version if you ever get a chance.
As for American Idol, I only care about Chris Sligh, Lakisha Jones, and Sanjaya Malakar,...the rest...meh...who cares? 

I'm done.

What is Beauty?

I've been hedging back and forth on Dove's Campaign for Real Beauty.
While I'm cynical enough to believe that Dove is no different than any other large company working to get into Boomer women's pocketbooks, and look all anti-establishment and sincere about it...I cannot be convinced that the women in this ad are anything but beautiful.

When when I was younger, I found wrinkles and lines on a woman unattractive...now when I look at an older person, there is a sweetness to be found in the lines formed by years of laughter, or tears.

Mama used to say that the face you have at 40, is the face you deserve...and I think that she's right. There are women in their 30's who look hard and used, and women in their 50's who look girlish and dulcet. Hard living will use you, but only if you let it.

It's true that beauty...real beauty, shines from within.

A woman like Anne Chambers, when you stand close to her glows with something more than just "attractive for an older woman" looks. 
Maybe I feel this way now because I'm not in my 20's anymore...or even in my 30's for that matter.
Or maybe it's because I've learned to really look at people. 

So, in the end..it doesn't really matter if Lever Bros. Corp. is taking another "angle" or "targeting a demographic"...it's just nice to see some real people in advertising for a change.

Quote of the Day:

"You know what?
I have more shit to do in a day than match my bra and panties.
Go to hell."

Snow.

So, with all the panic in this city when a snowstorm is on it's way, it's funny when we get blindsided.
This morning, the snow came so hard and fast that even the Dufferin/Peel District school board didn't have time to cancel buses...LOL, and they'll cancel buses and close schools at the mere mention of the coming of snow...pussies.

This morning, one of our neighbours who drives a snow plow drove up and down the street cleaning driveways that didn't have cars in them. It's not the first time he's done this.
It's these kinds of random acts of kindness that we could all make an effort to do.

Thanks neighbour!

And then...all this fuss about Prince Harry going to war. In my opinion, he should. He represents England, England is involved he should go.
If the children of more leaders had to go into combat, there might be less panting to rush into countries to assert power over them.
George Bushes daughters should have to go to Iraq as far as I'm concerned...because if anyone needs to go into war, it's the children of those who wage it.
Old school style.

That's all.

Cool Packaging and Design

“A man marries a woman because he loves her. so, instead of blaming him if married love begins to cool, she should question herself. Is she truly trying to keep her husband and herself eager, happily married lovers? One most effective way to safeguard her dainty feminine allure….”

IS TO DOUCHE WITH LYSOL!

See the full ads at feastoffools Flickr Account, and more during my guest hosting at Cynical-C.

Longing for Summer

Since today was balmy compared to the deep freeze we've been in recently...I am reminded of, and long for the summer and evenings in our backyard.
The Mister puts up our tent, and twinkly little lights inside...and we spend our evenings outside in the spring and summer BBQing, lighting the outdoor fireplace, and just sitting and talking late into the evening.

I long for this to start again.

Evenings with friends, and the warmth of summer, and the warm breeze and scents of herbs...oh, how I am yearning for that.

It's interesting how certain things stick with a person.
These were the summer evenings of my childhood.
The squeeking of the kapija, the smell of chamomile, the tinkling of glasses and laughter of family under the grapevines in my grandfathers garden.

Now, as an adult...The Mister re-creates that feeling when he plants chamomile for me by our tent, and strings the lights under it.

Oh, summer...I miss you so.

Down Among the Women

Funkaoshi posted this link to the Family Responsibility Office and their new initiative to get deadbeat dads to pay.
Firstly, good parents don't have to be chased.
Dogs do, and usually...people like that are worth keeping out of a kids life anyway.

Anyhow, I looked through all of the 20 or so profiles on that site, and most of them were in transient lines of work. "construction", "warehouse", some of them were even last seen as far as Iran for Godssake.

Here's what I know:

I know that the FRO treats good Dads like shit.
I know that if you're a non-custodial father, whomever answers the phone (if you can get through at all) will treat you, and speak to you like you're a deadbeat, whether you're calling to ask a simple question, or to inquire about why you're suddenly being accused of late payments even though you've been paying on time.
I know that they take the non-custodial parent (especially if it's a woman) at their word, she won't have to prove anything...it will be up to the non-custodial to prove the accusations untrue...and all that at a cost to the non-custodial.
I know that if you want the FRO to show an overpayment on their file on you, you'll have to pay the office almost $100 to have it show that you've contributed more than was required of you. Meanwhile, there are men and women who don't pay support and work under the table, and "there's nothing to be done".
I know that there are men paying child support who are not allowed to see their kids, or only see them when their ex isn't angry with them.
So, yeah...put up a website with pictures of guys who are probably not even in the province, or even the country...and you look like you're doing something besides skinning good fish in a barrel...meanwhile my deadbeat ex brother-in-law works, owns a house and is raising a new family (including 3 kids who aren't his) right in this city, without ever having to pay a red cent in child support to my niece.
But you can't say anything about the FRO.
Women's groups lose their fucking minds.
Ottawa says that True Deadbeat Dads are few.
Maybe that's why there are only 20 guys on that website.
There is no end to terrible stories of divorce and what happens when families separate and have to sort out financial and emotional problems, but to paint women as martyrs is an insult to average intelligence. I've known women who have denied access to their children's fathers simply because they didn't like the fact that they were dating someone, or because they still have an axe to grind over the failed relationship.
I knew a woman who was so determined to hurt her ex that she refused to comply with the courts ruling and let her children's father see them. She even refused the child support to keep him out of their lives, at a great loss to her children.
Let's not pretend that all women are angelic, selfless beings with only the kids best interests at heart.
Stop treating non-custodial Dads like shit and maybe there would be fewer of them.
Nah, who am I kidding?
If you're a piece of shit, then you're a piece of shit and won't take care of your kids whether they chase you or not. It makes no difference. Ask my ex-brother-in-law or my own father.
But frankly, they were worth paying to keep them out of our lives.

The next thing is single women who dispense advice about marriage.
Shut. Up.
Until you're in a relationship longer than a couple of years, and have combined your finances, family and property...grown up with children...and gone through a few "rough patches" with your partner, you have absolutely fuck all to say about it.

P.S.: Kobe Bryant speaks Italian NOT Serbian...so stop with the searches already!

Evolutions

Dove Evolution




Slob Evolution

This fabulous picture of The Sunnyside Pavillion on the Lakeshore in Toronto is from Ground Glass. What made me post it is that last night The Mister and me watched Hollywoodland.
During the scene where George Reeves (Ben Affleck) meets Toni Mannix (Diane Lane) I turned to The Mister and said, "That's Sunnyside". Then I remembered the filming that seems to be always going on in the summer in and around Sunnyside. But it was the lights in the Pavillion in the film that made me sure of it, because I remember driving by one summer evening and seeing it just so.
It took me a minute to figure out what the storyline was since I just put the disc in and hadn't really heard about the movie. The Mister brought it home on a whim.

That it's based on the death of real life George Reeves, the TV Superman of the 1950's.
The sad real life ending for all participants in the love triangle, Reeves,(gunshot to the head, duh.) Mannix (Alzheimer's) and Lemmon (alcoholic dementia, and dead in her apartment for 5 days before she was found).

I didn't love the movie, but it was worth watching just for the era, costumes and hair...frankly...I thought if I had to watch Ben walk up those stairs one more time to re-enact another version of the death, I might have had to shoot myself.

But, at the same time it's interesting to watch the lives of the rich, and famous and know that they're not exempt from tragedy...in fact even that might be on a grander scale.

I'm guest blogging over at Cynical-C while he and Mrs. Cynical are in Miami.

"Bwahahahahah!"

Conversation with Mama

"Ya, so Danica's daughter Tanja iz 25 an, she still no marry".

"So what?"

"Vell, she hev da boy she like, an dey suppose to marry...bah he vant her to move to Bosna..det's ver he from, an Buda (Tanja's father) no let her".

"What? Why?"

"Tanja hev her ovn business, she's da hairdresser..she hev da business in Becej, an da parents to help...she don need to move so far from dem"

"No, but what does Buda have to do with her decision?"

"Da boy's femily is very old feshion"

"So?"

"Da madder, she vash da feet from everybody before dey kam in da houz"

"So?"

"So, Buda iz no sendink his daughter who hev da buziness, an ken tekka ker aff herself to go an vash da feet of da people in Bosna".

"So? She can go if she wants to and if she doesn't want to wash feet, she doesn't have to"
(I can't believe I'm even having this conversation!)

"Vai mekka da trouble? Bedde no go attall".

Sunday Click Around

Firstly...GUNG HAY FAT CHOY!

I'm generally not a big fan of graffiti. Unless your graffiti looks like Banksy's or is done by someone with talent, and it looks like art with a real statement...well then, it's just vandalism.
I know that a lot of kids think that tagging shit in hard to reach places is making some sort of statement, but really...it's just stupid, and dangerous, as Toronto Tagger Bardia found out.

What I find amusing is that there are a number of turbo urban hipsters who really take this shit seriously.
The most interesting thing I find, is that most of the hardcore, urban hipsters I've met grew up in the suburbs, or a small town. 
Ironic, don't you think? 
Written on the City has some art, but mostly just words written on walls. Many of which aren't even very clever.

The Mister was telling me about The Chicago Bulls male cheerleading team, The Matadors. I looked them up and they're hilarious. I think the concept of cheerleaders that look like most of the fans is brilliant.

The concept of young female soldiers is quite compelling, and provocative. Here are some pictures of mostly Israeli soldiers.

Discount stores of the 60's has great pictures of strip malls from that era. Pictures of stores that I had forgotten existed, like Kresgies and Woolco.
While we're on that era...yesterday I did that whole 70's thing, and later I found this clip from The Courtship of Eddies Father. Who is the little girl(now famous adult) that socks Eddie in the eye?
And then I found another movie that Mrs. Livingston (Miyoshi Umeki) was in, that I remember watching when I was a little girl called Flower Drum Song. Here's another clip from Flower Drum Song..it's another version of "I enjoy being a girl".
From that, I was reminded of The World of Suzie Wong, and here's a clip from that.

Ever wonder if Mike Tyson actually is insane? Well, wonder no more!
Here's a little video of Mikes Greatest Moments in the World of Interviews.

Do you know someone who suffers from MCT?

Here's a little video on Urban Base Jumping that I found over at Funkoashi earlier this week. I know that a lot of people are impressed with this kind of thrillseeking behaviour. I'm not.
When this asshole gets caught on the end of a beam by his balls, or severs his spinal cord, or lands on the Gardiner Expressway instead of a parking lot, it's going to be our tax and health care dollars going to his recovery. While EMS workers or The Canadian Cormorant are struggling to save his ass, someone else who actually didn't do something on purpose to hurt themselves might need help. I urge you to watch the movie Murderball to hear some stories of former thrillseekers who are now permanently confined to wheelchairs.

How to be the perfect boyfriend.

That's it kids...

The Seventies...

...In the seventies, I was a little girl who had nothing to worry about but my shows, and my friends at school. When I see or hear certain theme songs or pictures, I remember that time.
I thought I'd take a minute to share some of the things that I liked when I was a kid.

The picture is from 70's Design. There are lots of pictures of things from the seventies there. Here's a compliation of 70's toys that I got a kick out of.

Remember the "I'd Like to Buy the World Coke" or this KFC Commercial? 

My life at that time was filled with reruns from the 60's, like Bewitched, I Dream of Jeannie, I Love Lucy, Andy Griffith, and The Beverly Hillbillies. 

At lunch time I would come home and watch The Flintstones, and I knew that when they were finished, it was time to make my way back to school. Saturday mornings I watched The Jetsons, and Josie and The Pussycats.

My nights were filled with The Partridge Family, Mary Tyler Moore, Sanford & Son, Chico & The Man, The Brady Bunch, Flip Wilson, Sonny & Cher, Good Times,  The Courtship of Eddies Father, Carol Burnett, 
Love American Style, and later Happy Days, All in The Family (which by the way could never, ever be comfortably on TV now), Rhoda, Barney Miller, and Mork and Mindy.

There's a little glimpse into my childhood.
Yeah. I didn't do much.

Cleopatra wasn't attractive.

It's come to light that Cleo didn't actually look like Elizabeth Taylor!
Turns out the movie industry totally exaggerated her beauty.
What next?
No Santa?

"Ernst Zundel was convicted of 14 counts of incitement Thursday for Holocaust denial and sentenced to the maximum five years in prison."

Turns out that Germany is just as  intolerant of hate mongers as Canada. Zundel may be forced to move to Argentina to be with 
his Nazi friends.

Buzz Hargrove actually believes that it's international trade policies that are killing the American Auto
Industry.
It can't be that they can't produce a reliable, affordable vehicle or that their overpaid, overcoddled employee policies that are making them less competitive.
Yeah, it's all about foreign trade.
Just wait until China enters the market, you can say goodbye to your job, Buzz.
Who's going to buy bloated Chrysler?
Gimme a break.

Turns out that shitting where you eat is not a good idea.

Cooking with Narnia

Late this afternoon, The Mister and me went out for a Valentine "Lupper". What's wonderful about having an early dinner on Valentine's Day is that you have a nice quiet meal, instead of the packed, noisy restaurant of Valentine's evening.
When we were leaving, the restaurant was just starting to fill up.

We went to Miga Korean Japanese BBQ in Mississauga.
It was wonderful.  
The picture to your left is from a Korean BBQ we frequent in Markham, and much more casual, as well as cheaper...it was not taken at Miga.

Our server was named "Narnia". No kidding. Narnia was totally adorable in her little crisp shirt and apron, and she did most of the cooking for us.  And when she wasn't around, another server would stop and turn our meat for us...one of the servers totally looked like my cousin Tanja, if she were Asian. Have you ever seen someone in passing that looked like someone you know...if they were a different race? I love that.

The food was excellent.
The service extremely attentive without being intrusive.

I don't think Narnia spoke a lot of English, because some questions I asked her were met with a friendly, yet blank expression...but when The Mister was having trouble picking something up with his chopsticks, and I said "watch, watch" to Narnia...she smiled and said "good job!" when he got it on his plate without dropping it.

We'll be going back for sure.
Excellent food, wonderful service, and reasonably priced.
We were stuffed full of Korean/Japanese goodness along with Japanese "Sopporo" beer for The Mister for $70.

Not bad at all.

P.S.: The ladies was beautiful, and spot. less.

Happy Valentine's Day

Ghostriding The Whip

A while ago I did a post on this new and improved teenaged way to kill yourself and wreck your parents car at the same time.

That's why I had to laugh when I saw this video of a kid doing it, and then getting his car stolen.

Howard K. Stern is grief stricken!

"He got paid $1 million for this. $1 million. Everytime he puts his hands to his face it's because he's about to break out in laughter. I'm not saying he killed Anna Nicole Smith, but he could be twirling a handlebar mustache and it'd look less suspicious than this."

So says The Superficial.

Meanwhile, back at the Ranch...photos surface of Anna and the Bahamian Immigration Minister in bed.

Wow.

Who can keep up?

I mean, you've got to hand it to a woman that can function at that rate with alcohol, meth, trimspa, Slimfast and a host of other illegal drugs in her...
...meanwhile, I'm out on a glass of Shiraz.

Really....

What with Zsa Zsa's husband claiming possible paternity and a decade long affair, the dicussion around "adopting" Anna...except for that pesky Zsa Zsa refusing to sign the papers!

Really, the only thing missing is circus music and a guy with a top hat and handlebar mustache swinging a lasso.

So, I'm over at Funkaoshi where I found the link to this article about two teenagers (girl 16/boy 17) who got arrested for taking naked pictures of themselves and sending them to each other.

Then, I'm reading the comments at Metafilter and marvelling.
Jokes about it being like "pics of themselves as babies naked on the bearskin rug", and insinuating that the charges are ridiculous.

The thing that seems to be escaping some people is that they were 16 and 17 years old.
And I suppose that in Florida, they're considered minors, and..GOLLY... there...it's illegal.

It doesn't matter who took the pictures.

If you're stupid enough to take pictures of yourself naked and send them to anyone when you're a 16 year old girl, or boy....you need someone to tell you to keep your emerging tits in your shirt, or penis in your oversized pants.
(about 50 google hits with just that last sentence, people.)

And if you're not going to listen to your parents...you might very well listen to Officer NotCoolWithNakedKidsontheNet.

I remember a few years ago, there was all this bawling and crying about a high school girl who let her (then) boyfriend use a camera phone to take pictures of her giving him head.
When they broke up, (as high school romances tend to do) he posted the photos on the internet, much to her embarrassment and mortification.
She wasn't charged with anything because of the state she was living in, but she was maligned and suffered greatly for her stupidness through how she was treated by, and made fun of by her peers. She had to transfer schools.
I think that perhaps she would have fared better if those photos had have been found, confiscated and destroyed by police.

Now, for all the TV and video crap that teenagers heads are filled with, most 16 year olds these days are significantly less mature than I was at 16.
I think a lot has to do with how overprotective parents have become.
So, many don't even consider the consequences of their poorly (if at all) thought out decisions to do things.
There is a false sense of protection there.

Maybe kids do need to learn the old fashioned hard way...like the camera phone headgiver...and not be protected from themselves by Mummy and Daddy, pesky minor laws and Officer JustSayNOtoPedophiles.

Because there just aren't enough photos of naked 16 year old girls (another 50 google hits from degenerates) . on the internet
Let girls post them of themselves, instead of waiting for their immature 17 year old boyfriends to do it after they break up.

And then, we can all tsk, tsk and shake our heads about how terrible it is that there is all this child porn online.

Sunday Click Around

Yo Momma jokes have been around for a long time.
"Yo Momma so ugly that when she comes into the kitchen, the rats jump on the table".
"Yo Momma so fat that when she dances at a wedding, the band skips".
"Yo Momma so black, when she gets out the car, the oil light comes on"
...and so on.
I've been watching MTV's Yo Momma battles on YouTube, and laughing my ass off.

How small minded am I?

Here's skinny little whitey Hair Jordan whupping ass.
Here's Yo Momma in NYC.
Here's a little joke history on The History of Yo Momma Jokes.
Gerry Dee is in this video, and if you ever get a chance to see him live, GO! His stand up act is hilarious.
Here's some Yo Momma goodness from MadTV back in 1994, with Chris Tucker and Debra Wilson.

A couple of years ago when Dove launched their Campaign for Real Beauty, I wasn't really onboard because I thought that they were just taking advantage of marketing to aging baby boomers, but in the end...even if they are, it's a good campaign. I guess I'm just not used to advertisers selling real people in place of fantasy. Here's Dove's Dream Team Winners and their stories. It's just nice to see some real people in advertising for a change.

Given the field I'm in, I shouldn't find this funny...but I do. I do!

There's been a little discussion around "Inat", and it's meaning recently. I've talked about it before in passing, and linked to Anna's post last week, as well as Aleksandra Kovac's explanation last week. Then I noticed that Funkaoshi posted about Inat and Tarouf last week. Serbs also practice tarouf, but we have no name that I know of for it...but it exists in our culture. It's the same mentality that tells you when you walk in the door..."no, no...leave your shoes on..." but intrinsically...you know better. "No...no...don't bring anything....", but when you do it's accepted with expectation. Here is Aysela singing "Teram Inat" ("pushing", "forcing" or "chasing" inat, I can't think of another word for Teram..it's one of those words that is hard to translate.)
While we're on the topic of Serbian music...here's a download site that I thoroughly took advantage of recently from SerbianPlanet.

While my blog is not a political blog, I still encourage you to sign this petition against the Independence of Kosovo.
I know that most people don't care, but for those of us that do, and have family still living in the forgotten war zone....it's important.

On a lighter note, while we're in the East, let's check out some bellydancing.

For all you Hasselhoff fans, here's Wax on Wax Hoff for your gaming pleasure.

For those of you that missed the SuperBowl commercials, here they are. (they weren't that great).

I love stuff from the '60's, '70's, and '80's... so here is Ska Dancers , The Message, and Soul Train. Enjoy!
I watch those videos and wonder about the people in them.
The Ska Dancers video could have The Misters mother partying up right there with them.
She's in her 70's now and she could still salsa you under the table, son.

Here's a little video from All About U, it was filmed in front of a convenience store I pass almost every day. I quite like them too...I found it at Lydonology. Who lives in the 'hood.

Ever wonder what Serbian models look like? Wonder no more!

Commercials are funny. The Mister and me used to go to The Groaning Board on Jarvis many years ago to have dinner and watch award winning commercials from all over the world. The Groaning Board is no more....but the commercials still keep coming. Like this one, and this one, and this one. Not that you even remember the product....

I've got a sense of humour. Really I do...but this guy needs a slap in the head.

Grumpy, Bald Scotsman Mark Day weighs in on Anna Nicole.

Punk in Suburbia weighs in on Anna Nicole as well.


I'm rooting for Chris Sligh on American Idol.
Really, I am.
He's good, and he's not plastic looking.

Ok, kids...I think that's all.

The Coochie Monologues

“Thank you, officer. We love the police.”
Paris Hilton

"I'm not set on a pedestal where I think I'm too high and mighty."
Naomi Campbell

“With this budget, we're not going to have enough for cigarettes or alcohol.”
Jodie Marsh

“I don't really think, I just walk.”
Paris Hilton

“I used to do drugs, but don't tell anyone or it will ruin my image.”
Courtney Love

"I got moral. My children are raised morally."
Janice Dickinson

“The artist I wanna be like is Michael Jackson. I'll get the house with the roller coaster and the rides and a disco, and I'll invite all my friends and just stay at home.”
Li'l Kim

“It's very expensive to be me. It's terrible the things I have to do to be me.”
Anna Nicole Smith (yes...I know...but the quote was too good to not include)

"I love when people walk into my house and start grinning, 'This is too
much -- this is so you!' Why give people brown cardboard when you can give them
embroidered, crystal-flecked organza?"
Kimora Lee Simmons

"I really think that women should be allowed to be more European, in this country."
Sally Kirkland

“At the end of the day you have to be driven by principle and you've got to be driven by passion and your belief in what this country can be.”
Belinda Stronach

Let's Go to Jail

"Welcome to a jail Spain says is the only the one in the world with cell units for families: Disney characters on the walls, a nursery, a playground for toddlers. The idea is for kids to bond with their imprisoned parents while young enough to be oblivious to their surroundings, and for inmates seeking rehabilitation to learn parenting skills. The prison in this town 40 kilometers (25 miles) south of Madrid has 36 cell units for families, although now only 16 are occupied, most with Latin Americans. The units of the special F-1 section are known in jail jargon as 'five-star cells'. (AP Photo/Bernat Armangue)"

I kind of think it's a good idea to teach couples how to be parents, and not to separate them from their children if they go to jail...but this living arrangement looks like it might be worth committing crimes to continue to living there.
It's certainly more cushy looking than most low income family homes on the outside.

Another Episode of STFU

So, I read that a suicide prevention group is protesting a GM commercial that was aired during the Super Bowl.
The commercial shows a robot at a GM plant's downward spiral into depression...A robot.
Apparently, the general public is too weak in the knees, and soft in the brain to tell the difference between reality and fiction.
We need these politically correct special interest groups to keep us from viewing things that might give us ideas.

It's this kind of shit that has kept a whole lot of people employed. There are always people waiting on their haunches to spring up and be offended.
As though not talking about suicide unless it's in a somber way is going to change any statistics.

Here's the ad:



The ad isn't great or anything, and if this group hadn't have protested it, I wouldn't even have noticed it's existence.
Why attack only GM?
Why not IKEA?

Remember their sad lamp commercial?



Maybe more energy should be pointed toward important reasons for suicide.
Mental health issues, and stop with the PETA approach to protesting.

Today's Pointless Pondering

Do guys like this even realize how amusing they are to look at?
Seriously.
When they're driving their canary yellow Lancers, or lime green Honda Civics with the gigantic tailpipes, with Sonic the Hedgehog hair, leaning back in the driver's seat so that you can only see their noses. Lit cigarettes smouldering while they're driving, soon to flick it out the window onto your windshield (another ranty, rant post)...do they even grasp how laughable they look?

Really.
Do girls actually find this kind of self-absorbed, glittery metrosexual attractive?

It's a serious question.

Pointless Pondering #2

Apparently, there has been a rash of 100 year old drivers taking up valuable handicapped parking spaces!
Err...isn't there some sort of computer program that can flag dates, so that you can look into things like this?
It certainly explains all the able bodied people I see getting out of cars with handicapped stickers on them, parked in handicapped spots.

City Council Shenanigans

"Mr. Miller...Mr. Miller...Denzil won't move!"

"Mr. Miller, Case took my spot!"

"I'm turning off the lights! HANDS ON YOUR HEADS, FINGERS ON YOUR LIPS!"

What a supreme example of stupidness this was.

Yeah.
This is what's running this City.

First class, baby...first class all the way!

How to Ruin Your Life in 48 Hours.

You've worked for years to get to where you are, in a field where women have only recently been represented.

You rode the Discovery in July...

You're married, and you've got kids.

For you to drive 900 miles in diapers in a trenchcoat and wig...with a knife, a bb gun, pepper spray, and garbage bags to go after a woman who was involved with your alleged boyfriend on the side...I dunno.

Kinda reminds me of the Pam Coburn and Joseph Carnavale stupidness from a couple of years ago.
Remember Pam and Joe?

She sacrificed her career, embarrassed her family and devastated her kids for some dick too.

I just don't get it.
I'm assuming mental breakdown.

Bats in the Belfry

The Mister was out on the driveway shovelling snow when he heard, "Radmila's husband!!! RADMILA'S HUSBAND!!!".

It was our neighbour two houses down, shouting from her second floor window. "Come!!! COOOOME!" she screamed, wildly gesticulating with her hands for him to come.

Now, The Mister got scared...he thought something terrible had happened, that someone was sick, or having a heart attack, or something.

When he got to the house, the door was unlocked and it was dark...she had barricaded herself and her children in a second floor bedroom.
He fumbled around in the dark, since he's never been inside their house..and couldn't find a light switch. He shouted to ask what was wrong, and she yelled back that there was a bird in the house.

Bird? At night? In February?
Then, it came at him...it was his turn to scream!
It wasn't a bird...it was a BAT!

The Mister has hunted iguana, and lizards...had a pet monkey back in Guyana as a boy, captured and kept Marabunta and giant cockroaches the size of small rodents, seen bats "back home"...but wasn't expecting one to attack him on the second floor landing of a Canadian house.
He knocked it down with his hand, and then grabbed a nearby exacto knife (they've been renovating their house for the past year) and killed it.

I'm married to Batslayer!
My hero!

The end.

Feng Shui

There should be no shoes or slippers lying around outside the main door of your house. Remove it if you can. Allow that space at the main door to be free and clear. The chi (energy) rides with the wind and will collect all the smell of those shoes and slippers into your house causing sickness. Ch’i then travels about in your house looking for water to stay but if there are no water fountains or fish tanks, then the Ch’i will be dispersed by wind.

Feng Slav
Der shood be no shoes in da houz. Eff yu ver da shoes in mai houz, I gonna keel you.
Bedde yu kam tru da garage.

Feng Shui
There should be no television sets in your bedrooms: If you cannot get rid of that habit then after watching the television cover it with a plastic table cloth. Remember it has to be plastic and not simply cloth.

Feng Slav
Yu shood caver everytink yu like mid da plestic. Det vey it lest longer.

Feng Shui
There should be no mirrors opposite your bed or at the side of your bed. Mirrors opposite the bed can attract a third party to the relationship. Therefore, do not place mirrors anywhere you like and especially in your bedroom.

Feng Slav
Vai yu need da mirror in frant of da bed...vat? Are you prevert or samtink?

Feng Shui
In your kitchen, ensure that opposite your stove there is no refrigerator, washing machine, washbasin and toilet. The fire and water crash causing family members to have disagreements.

Feng Slav
Don mette ver yu gonna pud da fridge in da kitchen...you gonna hev da fight mid da femily. Mek shur if yu gonna fight, yu don talk to dem for et least da kappla years..an ven yu do, brink ap vat yu med aboud samtimes...jas so dey no yu deedn't forget vat yu med aboud.

Feng Shui
Do not use a red sofa set: The colour red represents the element of fire. And for Feng Shui, some places simply cannot have the colour red in that sector. For example: the wealth area or some other sectors which without a Feng Shui check would be unable to tell you where it is. A red sofa sets gives rise to heavy work pressure, troubles and obstacles.

Feng Slav
Don hev da red kouch. Eets agly.

Feng Shui
Always open your bedroom windows at least once 20 minutes a day to allow fresh chi to come in, we do this so that it allows fresh new chi from outside to come into your bedroom, if not you will be sleeping with stale chi every night.

Feng Slav
Open da vindov eef eet's da sammer...eef it's da vinter, open maybe 5 minutes and den CLOSE IT...VAT? YU TINK DA HYDRO EES FREE?

Trinidad Saltfish Accra from TriniGourmet.com.

They're fried. They're fantastic!

Super Bowl Chili at Papamo.

Sunday Click Around

The other night, I was waiting for some food at a local Jerk place, and I read most of the article in Macleans Magazine by Celia Rivenbark author of Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Old Like A Skank. It's nothing I haven't pondered before, but it's nice to know that I'm not the only one who feels this way.
Here is Celia interviewed by Macleans. The whole Bratz phenomenon freaks me out, and they sport a look that is even harder to attain than Barbie's was.
In the article, Ms. Rivenbark points out the whole porn/fantasy/pedophile thing by mentioning the Catholic Schoolgirl look that is favoured in men's sexual illusions. She mentioned Sante D'Orazio's fashion photography that played on this theme. So, of course I had to go home and look him up. Here's his site.

Anna from Blackbird did a post on her father and discussed "Inat", which is something I've noticed every Serb I've ever met has. Here is an excellent little synopsis of why Serbs have it by Aleksandra Kovac.

While I was at the Dentist last week, he was playing Billie Holiday...and I was loving it...did I mention how much I love my Dentist? I did once, here. Anyway, the Hygienist at one point said, "Oh my God! This music is soooo depressing" as Billie crooned "In my solitude...you haunt me...with memories of days gone by...". After I left, I really wanted to pull out my old Billie Holiday and keep listening. In the meantime, I also started thinking of others...Billie, Ella, Bessie, Sarah, as well as Edith. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.

I found this pretty funny.

I know this is wrong, especially with what I do for a living...but still...I laughed.

I'm a little confused with the whole frat thing...but here's the UofT Lambdas Step Team. Other than adding to the whole clique culture of schools, I don't understand fraternities.

I'm posting this because this guy walks through the neighbourhood I grew up in. Points out my old street, and walks the "strip" I'm quite familiar with.
It's still more of a neighbourhood than the ghetto he wishes to portray it as. It's got pockets of ghetto, but people who live in real ghettos will recognize that it's not the burned out buildings and garbage that areas I've driven through in the states are. But, it's still part of Parkdale.

Mad Cow...likes to Moooove it.

Make your influence positive.

And last but not least...I cried right along with Matt Sato when he called his mom to tell her that he made it to the next round.
Doesn't he kind of remind you of a young Ryan Phillippe?

While reading the news this morning, there were a few things that caught my eye, and ire.

If this story isn't just hype, I'm disappointed in Jennifer Hudson. I thought she had more class than to shit in the hand that fed her. If it wasn't for American Idol, she'd be singing in clubs, and small venues like thousands of other singers who have voices just as good as hers. Shame on you Jennifer.

Sex with client sinks lawyer.

"Over dinner, Hunter told her his marriage "had been over for a long time but he continued to live with his wife for the sake of their children," according to a statement of fact filed with a law society disciplinary panel yesterday."

How old is that line? About 2000 years old?
I'll bet that information came as news to his wife.
I'm impressed that he outed himself...but then he's a lawyer, so he must have seen an exposure pending, and decided to do the "honourable" thing.

This really helps the towing business shake the image of "vultures", doesn't it?
The representative for the company's response of; "drivers are not required to look inside vehicles before towing them." is just so warm and fuzzy.

Face Transformer

Here's me as a Botticelli painting.

Go on, do yourself...you know you want to.

You can even try on other races.

Here's me as a Manga animation.

The Harsh Reality of Downsizing.

It's a Dog's Life

While surfing around I found this interesting little entry at La Vida Vica.

Vica says that there are two types of women:

Women are either cats

"Cats flaunt themselves - frequently while destroying something like carpeting or curtains. When bored, they chew through the earbud cords for your iPod or pull all of your ties off the rack in the closet. And men love these infuriating behaviors. Despite the massive historical precedent that dogs are man's best friend, cats are apparently their lovers".

or Dogs

"Dogs on the other hand love you faithfully. In fact, they can't imagine life without you. They come running each evening when you open the door to the apartment. Dogs will sit silently with you, their chin resting on your thigh while you channelsurf in the La-Z-Boy. Dogs have no shame about how much they want you".

I find this interesting.

The upside is that even dogs will eventually attack if they've been abused for long enough.